Ad Infinitum

Why

2006-01-31T02:02:00.000+08:00

This blog has been gathering enough dust. Almost two months never touch it le so yea... time to revive it...

Hmmmx.. I'm getting pretty tired with whatever is going on in my life. Well, besides her, I feel that everything is so typical. There's hardly anything significant in this life anymore.
When you run and run, you'd get tired eventually. Hahax. I don't know why but this athelete thingy just keeps coming into my mind... life's this stupid maraton with no end. And as I run and run, I begin to lose focus of what the hell I'm running for. I'm getting really tired i guess. Well, hardly anything has meaning anymore. Well, I guess she's all I have to cling on to for now. I'm just so pathetic. Oh well...

I visited my god-mother yesterday and the day before. Cancer sucks. She's like loosing so much hair. It really pains me la... I mean.. haix.. she was the one who brought me up lo. Then now there she is... I can tell she's afraid but she refuses to show it to us. I'm sad. I'm like so helpless la. Wanna help but there's nothing I can do. I don't even know if she's in pain! I dunno... it guess things are like super meaningless now. The Six Young Men really spoke a lot to me - we live to die and die to live. That crap phrase has been stuck in my mind for a really long time. It haunts me I guess. I'm not an escapist but for once, I don't dare to face reality. It's scary. Haix.. what is life... what if mine were to end tmr? Would I regret? I really feel like crying now... really... it's really painful to think about it... I can't bring myself to look into the future anymore. Why kai, why?

Life's coming to a slow down when the pace around me is picking up. It's not good la - I'm falling behind. I just know it. Things are building up within me... I'm real scared I'll break down. I think people around me are starting to see me crumble... but I still try to stand strong. It's hard but i must. StAJeWorks is picking up and errrx... i somehow feel very sick of the things that are going on. I know it's wrong to feel that way - StAJe is like the thing that gave me so much joy last time.. I know it still does la but somehow, I'm afraid and hurt by the things that are going on within. I dunno what I'm doing sometimes.. seriously.
Vice President... I really don't think I'm doing a good job with it. Am I too bossy at times? I think I am la... but I do have the CCA's best interest at heart.. but yea, I think i'm a little too harsh at times. It's time i changed.. but I just can't find the strength to do so.
I'm really turning into someone I myself hate.. a pathetic weakling who merely harps on its own misfortunes. I hate it!

She's the only one that I really trust... that I really can depend on. I'm scared of losing that very one person. I think I'd really collaspe.
If there's really a God above... I really need comfort and guidance this time round. I'm burning out.. I'm losing every single drop of zest that I have for life. I don't want that to happen. But why am I feeling to hurt within. Why?
Kai... why?

Why?
Why?
Why? Why?
Why?
Why?

I hope I'd find a reason why soon....

Grumpy

2005-12-05T23:33:00.000+08:00

Had to wake up early for OGL workshop today. It was relatively ok la. I've got an ok group... together with wen e and celine again. Got Qi Xiang too. Yea... so at least got company.

Mmmmx.. then went swimming with her after the OGL workshop... I froze in the water cause it was too cold. Hehex... So we didn't swim much in the end. Oh well...

Then after that went to eat dinner... on our way, got this grp of malay kids suan us... then i got quite irritated. But ignored them la... then went to eat prata. When we walked back right, we passed them again. Then they threw something in our path. I went like "bouncy bouncy" quite loud. Then the heard... then said: "Go sleep with yourself." Damn irritating la! Then dunno why, ended up pointing middle finger at them... damn sian la! Stupid malay kids. and they're not even sec 1 lo! I just pointed and walked on la.. then could hear them cursing and swearing at the back. When we reached the traffic light, two of the boys came up to me and then went like: "point for what." I was super irritated le then went, "You all don't find yourselves irritating meh? I go coffee shop eat also must disturb me. Come back also disturb me!" Then the kid replied, "you cham where one huh? cham where one." What the heck is that supposed to mean? Oki.. i understood but replied, "You talk to me can speak english?!" Felt like slapping the ass la... but then the green man came on and she pulled me to cross the road. Then we just walked and laughed.. ignored them. They were like shouting every single valgarity they knew la. So lame. Oh! Then they shouted, "I'll go fuck your mum!" Hahax... that one was funny... her mother is like 50+ and they're like less than 12? My mum? Wee! almost 50 and eh, you sure you wanna do anything to her? She'll sue and then get ppl to wack you up la kids. Hahax. You kids lucky she not there... if not... lalala... i see you all DIE! I hate those malay kids. Stupid posers.

Come to think of it horx, I was acutally quite bad la... When i was talking to them, i was preparing to block a punch or something le... however, still was holding on to her hand. I should have stood in front of her or something la... later those crazy kids hit her how? Haix... lucky nv la... if not we see blood shed le. I hate those malay kids. But well, they're kids. Shall forgive them... and hope that I don't bump into them again... i so don't wanna hit any one of those punny little kids. Hmmm.. what if they got older gangster friends? Oh no... hahax... oki... should i tell mummy and borrow her bodyguard or something? Hahax... well, we'll see. They dare show face one more time, I'm calling my mum. Grrrrx...

Mmmmx.. after that we went somewhere. I got quite fed up during that period of time. Not her fault la... was just the ppl around us only. Grrrx... cant ppl just leave us alone! I don't wanna elaborate... make me more grumpy only. Haix... don't like nosey parkers! Asses... and they had to be indians. Bahx... i'm grumy now la! Haiya! I think I'm gonna be grumpy tmr during OGL workshop le... haix.. hope she's not grumpy too... but well, we've got full reason to be grumpy after what happened.

Argh! I hate today!

OBS

2005-11-26T00:53:00.000+08:00

Back from 5 days of OBS at last! Yuppie! But I kinda miss sleeping in a tent le lei - I was getting used to it. Hahax. I miss my watch! Junko was a great team. =) Ah! I miss camp. Hehex. Weird how I was missing home so much during camp and now that I'm back, I'm missing camp! Oh well... and I still miss her. =(

Mmmmx... Kayaking, tracking, rock climbing, night walk and so on. Those were the contents of OBS. Hahax. Oh yea! Still got tent pitching, cooking and washing! Hahax. I did my own laundry for once. And I cooked! Hahax.

Day one of camp was so-so. Went to the jetty with AJ. Was chatting with Kerrin, Joshua, Wen E and Chinthin on the boat. Kerrin imagined OBS camp to be some holiday camp on Sentosa or something - then she wanted to wear her Cedar bikini. *No chance la Kerrin!* Hehex... So we got to base camp and mmmx, were seperated into our groups. My group was made out of AJC, SRJC and NJC people. Junko! Hahax. Quite similar to my name too. Hehex. We got to know each another really fast. Junko consisted of myself (AJC), Wen E (AJC), Jessica (AJC), Joanna (AJC), Joshua (AJC), Bing (NJC), Chin Ping (NJC), Ye Wee (NJC), Jolene (NJC) Benjamin (SRJC), Amanda (SRJC), Wan Ting (SRJC) and Wen Si (IP2 - NJC). Oh yea! And our lovely instructor Cindy! Hahax. She's nice.

So back to day one. We assigned the group ICs, store ICs, food ICs (and yes, Wen E was one of them... hehex... but she can cook la.) and campsite ICs. Thereafter, we went Kayaking! Took practical lessons first then later, went into the water to paddle around. Then we had to do the capsize drill. Hahax. I love capsizing but I hate rescuing. Hahax. Tiring process. Seesaw! Hahax.

After paddling around a bit, we went to wash up and then, learnt to set up tent. I hate A-shaped tents. They suck! Hahax. Details later will update. Hehex... Wen E cooked dinner for us. Rice and some can food. It was nice. Oh yea! We did our rationing before that too. Hehex. We set up tents thereafter on a nice ground. =) That's all for day one. We bathed then snuggled up in bed le. Learnt a bit of first aid from Cindy then all were in the tents trying to sleep. The stupid mosquitoes were damn irritating. Hahax.

Oki... on to day 2. We woke up at about 6am and collasped tents. Ate breakfast then washed up. Changed into hike gear and guess what, it rained! Hahax. We ended up doin rock climbing indoors and then, playing some lame lame games with blindfolds. Hahax. I've got no affinity with knots. =) Can't tie for nuts. Hahax. And Junko's defination of a square is a figure with 6 sides. Hahax. We are creativy ppl la. What to do? Hehex. The group got quite sian but nevertheless, we still co-operated.

Later in the afternoon when the rain got less heavy, we went to pack our hike bag. The freaking thing was heavy la oki? I backed in my clothes and some admin equipment. The plus the stupid poncho. That made the bag quite heavy le. Plus the food rations - about 4kg le la. Hehex. Now comes the fun part - 4 liters of water for each person... so that's another 4kg to make the bag 8kg. Then cause the group had only 6 guys and 4 tents plus one bluetub to carry, I had to carry a damn tent. So tent is about 2kg and the ground sheet about 4kg. Add anoher 6kg to get 12kg! Hahax. Plus a little of this and that here and there, my bag came out to be about 15kg. So yea... 15kg on my shoulders and we tracked to our new campsite 1.6km away. =) Oh! And me and Jessica were the Land Expidition leaders for the next day so we had to plan during dinner while Wen E cooked. When we saw the route, we started panicking. Hahax. Long sia! Hahax. I was wondering how i'd ever make it. So we planned...

When we reached the new campsite, it started drizzling again. Had to pitch tents under the rain and yes, they got wet inside. Hahax. The ground was SO muddy that we had to use bricks to tie the tents down. Irritating. My tents were all leaky. Hahax. Jessica and myself planned the route a little more with the help of our ground and then, lights out came lo. I was shouting across to Kerrin's tent a chatting with her. Hahax. I slept with Joshua and Chin Ping. They were nice. =) Our tent was like the emergency tent la. Your tent collaspe, you find us. Hahax. And that's why we had no sleep.

At about 1am in the morning, I was woken up cause the tent sprung a leak. The ground sheet apparantly wasn't water proof and the water was coming in from the bottom. I tried to ignore it until the tent started leaking from the top. I heard the girls complaining about their tent too. Joshua and Chin Ping woke up too and we began mission "Salavage the Tent". We were trying to make sure it didn't collaspe until we could set off. Used pots and pans to store the dripping water. So old fashion. Hahax. I was really home sick then. I wanted my bed! Hahax. And yes, began missing her again. hahax. Stupid tent.

In the end, I couldn't stand it inside so I wore the band jacket and went out to fix the tents. Not much difference but well, the leaks did stop for a while. helped the girls too then went over to talk to Jessica about the trip again. Decided to collaspe tents at 7am since we could only leave at 0730h.

So, at 0700h, we started working on keeping the tents and emptying the water from inside. In the end, we got the tents damn muddy and all. Lost a whole bag of tent pegs too but din care. We had to clear the whole area and ended up as the last grp to leave as we still had to brief the group on the plans. left about 0830h with more than 15kg on my beg le. Water is damn heavy. Hahax.

The track was a long long one. 10km lei! I was so tired and fed up that I lost interest in leading. But then, Joanna, ever so cute, kept singing and all. So cheery until I wanna scold also cannot scold. So, I tolerated 15kg on my back for the whole journey lo. Hahax. It was tiring but we managed. =)

Pitched tent at some crappy place again. Ground damn hard. I had very very bad blisters on my legs due to the weight and the long walk. Couldn't walk properly then. Hahax. So i slacked. Watched them pitch tent and watched Wen E cook again. Hahax. maggie mee! Hahax. Ate then had sea Expidition briefing my the leaders for sea ex lo. Hahax. Long journey ahead so went to sleep. Oh yea.. forgot to mention... the group went for mass shitting. Hahax. We shit in the jungle! Dug holes to shit! Hahax... Oki.. then we went to sleep lo. Hahax. Slept well at last and didn't want to wake up... but had to.

The next day, woke up at 4am and then collasped tents and all. left campsite at 0800 cause of Kerrin's group. They overslept! Hahax. Tracked through an extremely muddy path and then, saw our kayaks. Loaded our bags into the safety boat then set sail for our course. I paired up with Wen Si... we cant go straight for nuts. Hahax... so we paddled and paddled until we reached a dam. I had to get off to help transport the kayaks over it. The mud in the swamp was disgusting but still, i gave myself a mud bath when pulling the kayaks over. I could hear Kerrin screaming in the process. Hahax.

Mmmmx.. so we kayaked on and on... oh.. half way during the journey, cause me and wen si crashed into the tree and had to paddle through it, wen si flicked a brach holding a spider test onto me. Eggs and all were on me la! And the mama spider was on my lifevest. Hahax. I was screaming like mad. Hahax. Luckily the spider jumped off if not, i'd have to capsize in the swamp le. Hehex. Stupid girl. Hehex...

We reached back at 1327h... OBS record time! Yea! I set a new record. Hahax. Washed up the kayaks and lifevests before tending to my wounds. Set up the muddy tents to dry and pack up the store too. Bathed then cooked dinner with Wen E. I liked the soup that I cook. Hahax

Had the best sleep that night. Guess I got used to tent life. Didn't want to wake up the next day but Joanna was making too much noise la. Hahax. So yea... woke up and went to pack store again. Played with water. =) Hahax... Last day was fast la... met up for one last time and drank milo and did evaluation. Then exchanged contacts, washed the girls' toilet and then bought OBS shirt before coming back to singapore.

I slept for the whole afternoon. Dreamt of her. =) Hahax... I miss her... oh wellx... I'm sleepy le... time to go back to sleep! Night world!

3 Months

2005-11-17T23:59:00.000+08:00

3 months. =)

Was a pig in the morning. =) Slept, slept and slept somemore. Hahax. Woke up several times but was to lazy to get off the bed so eh, fell back asleep again? Lalala... Ok, so I'm evolving into a pig. Hahax.

Anyway, met her at 2:45pm sharp. I was 2 seconds early. Hahax... but she was earlier. Ooppps... it's ok, at least I wasnt late. Heh. Then we went down to army market to buy my OBS stuff. How romantic horx? Hahax... Took PUBLIC TRANSPORT there. I swear, I felt sick on the MRT train! Reason being, I took 4hours of public transport yesterday thanks to StAJeWorks... Round and round Singapore we go. Hahax...

Oki oki... back to the day. Mmmmx... so we got to army market and bought all my rubbish. Then bought a cup of sugar cane and gulped it down before leaving for eh, the bus stop? Ended up walking to concourse for no reason. Hahax. Went in and started walking around aimlessly. Hahax.

Thereafter, we took 107 to Shaw Towers. Initially, we planned to go to suntec but since the bus passed by shaw, we just stopped there to watch movie. Bought tickets for Just Like Heaven then went walking again. Fine, we walked a lot today. Hahax. Shaw Towers is a quiet building... real quiet. But eh, the Cherry Tomatoes there are really nice... especially with salt. Hahax...

Mmmmx... during the movie, we pratically had the whole cinema to ourselves. Hahax. So empty and dark. Hahahx... I kinda enjoyed the show lei... =)

So... after the movie, walked to Suntec. Along the way, we saw this couple... secondary school couple la... they damn cute la. I was like observing the guy's hand la... kept rubbing against the girl's hand. Then I was whispering to her, "want to hold then hold la.. hesitate so long for what?" Then both of us were giggling to ourselves when suddenly, the guy wrapped his hand around her waist. Hahax. Woah... that was fast. =) Hehex...

Oki.. so we reached suntec and then, had a really nice dinner there. Spent money but what the heck la... was worth it. =)

Oh! Then next, we went to Esplanade to walk walk. That place brought back a lot of memories for me la... I miss the friends I made there. Then we went to the roof top... I miss jumping in the little stone fountain. Hahax. For some strange reason, remembered Shi Min and her rubbish. Dared me dance in the fountain.. thereafter, it became a post-performance ritual. Hahax. Then still got Tracy and Traci... hahax. Traci is a guy by the way... and Tracy a girl. And they are not related. Hahax. Cute pair.

After we were done with the roof top.. went to the bay side to sit down and stare at the water. We sat at the same spot as I did with Shi Min, Jie Min, Tracy, Traci, Marvin and Tsian Wei on our last night together. We were a nice team la... then some went overseas to study and mmmx, Tsian Wei went to LarSella I think. Lost contact thereafter. I really miss them... vaguely remember our childish little promise that we made there: "if we ever get seperated, we'll meet under the bridge." Then Jie Min was like: "don't want... I want the merlion." Then I went: "eh.. stick with the bridge... I dunno how to get there."
Then we were laughing for the next 2hours for no specific reason. Hahax. I miss the times we had together. I loved them la... but well... today, I was at that very same spot with someone that I loved even more than them. Hahax. I kinda teared when I thought of the team but yea, she was there, by my side... and it made all the difference. Felt that warmth that I did when the team was still active for a split moment. It was more than enough. I felt happy and blessed. I am anyway. Hahax. Thanks God!

Hmmmx.. after that, we wanted to find a bus home. 107 wasn't looping to couldn't take it back. Then she didn't want to take MRT at City Hall so we ended up walking to look for the 107 that heads to hougang. Sadly, after like walking back to shaw... we realised that the bus was inactive. Hahax. 1 hour of romantic walk under the moon lo... hahax... took 100 to harbour front in the end and took MRT back home.

Oh yea! On the MRT, she slept la.. then I kinda noticed two girls staring at us... They were like giggling and all.. they looked kinda familar but couldn't tell who... haha... maybe they know me... oh no... =) ah... nvm them.. eventually, we both got home and yea... that's the end of today. =)

It's been 3mth le... there's been extreme up and down moments... dare say, we've been through a lot tgt but well, we survived... hahax... it's been great and yea, it'll go on. =) It will... hahax...

Music

2005-11-12T23:46:00.000+08:00

Haix. I'm super upset now. Don't you hate the feeling that when you put in so much effort for something and later, it goes unappriciated or even, disregarded? I know I hate that feeling - it hurts la!

Doesn't anyone know how hard it is a write a song? The lyrics alone is already one hell of a headache to come up with. Let alone adding the melody then later harmony and all that nonsense. After you stay up for a whole night, get yourself so fustrauted and pissed then later, all your efforts go down the drain. In fact, they backfire. I dunno - I find myself damn stupid la.

Let me make it clear here: when I write a song, it is not because I'm talented or because I've a diploma in music theory... it's because I bothered to sit down, spend time and think. Not only is it physically challenging, it's also emotionally and mentally straining. I've always put my heart, soul and mind into any song that I write. Each note, each chord, they all have meaning. Some even coated with a tear or two. To me, music is a way of expressing myself - but it's a very difficult way to do so. My mood is extremely affected cause of the late nights I spend in front of the piano, writing and tearing up stuff I write until I find a perfect fit. I go without food, just water, so I can concentrate.

The significance of each song I write? Hmmmx... examinations? Yea.. that's one reason. But well, that's the most stupid reason I write songs for. I know I love writing songs for God... well, at least I know somehow or another, He'd like what I write. And He'll appriciate it.. haix... and then, the other SMALL group of people I write for are those who really take a place in my heart. Still rmb, the first song I wrote was for my uncle derek who was going for some operation. Yea - the song was dedicated to him and God... and he accepted God shortly after the operation... then the next song was written for someone but no one has ever heard it... it's in my "nicely composed but never to be heard" file. Then next was for Colleen Jiejie.. cause yea, she really helped me survive through my O'levels. But well, again, no one has ever heard it before. So, the second piece that was specially written for someone that I really did present was for eh, her. Then the piece I just wrote not more than an hour ago... well, it's going into that file again. If it's not appriciated, if all the pains I go through are disregarded, what's the point?

I feel like scrapping the song but I really can't bring myself to do so. I'll just file it and one day, I'll just play it for myself.

Why don't you try? Just try writing something? Say a poem? You just try? Make sure you're happy with it when it's done. Make sure it means something. Make sure it's the best you've ever written. You just try? You think it's easy?

Well, maybe some people will never understand.

Oh well... what can I do?

I give up.. the more I write, the angrier I get. And yes, I'm angry. And I'm sad... and I'm hurt... and I'm so freaking tired of all these nonsense! Why do i even go through so much trouble to write a stupid song for people who don't understand me! WHY!!!!!

Haix... so be it. Next time I write a song, it's gonna be for God... that's all. He's the only one who understands them anyway.

I give up. I'm putting this whole issue aside. Writing to vent my anger... haha.. again, will you ever understand how it can be so? I dunno... but I hope so.

Haix.

Back to the blog

2005-11-05T00:15:00.000+08:00

Oh! Have i abstained from blogging for a whole month? I think I have! Wow! Achievement! Hahax...

Well, a lot has happened over the last month ba. Chinese AO level examination is finally over so yea, now I can relax for a while. But still must bear in mind that I've got quick a huge pile of holiday homework to clear. Will start on it right after OP examination which is like in 5days time. Argh... well, i can do it la... just have to find that hidden confidience within... and stop speaking like a bloody Jamican. Hahax. Ah! Just be myself and hide the damn nervousness la! Hahax...

Relationship's going on just right. =) We got to know each other a lot better over the past month and yea, did quite a lot of things together. Hahax. We had fun la. Shall keep the happy moments to ourselves and not blog about it here ba. Hahax. Be selfish for once. Lalala...

Interhouse Drama preperations picking up le. Finally, stAJeworks is gonna go back into action. Oki.. things to do:
1. Get the Interhouse Drama committee to get the basic admin work done
2. Meet Willams and Guru to enquire about the Drama Camp
3. Meet Guru to clarify on members' profiling
4. Chase Xinyu for minutes and help her create the profiles if neccessary
5. Complete script
6. Lias with Bryan for the SPECIAL script
7. Lias with council for the selling of tickets (if needed - tentatively on hold)
Yuppie. That's about all. Hahax. Work work! I love work! Hahax. (I'm not being sarcastic - I really love work in this case... hahax...)

Mmmmx... oh yea! I've got the stupid SL-script to complete. Oh no! I wonder how I'm gonna rush it out. Tight deadline thanks to xavier. Hehe.... but well, I'll try to meet it la... I'll make sure Isadora and Pearlyn have fun. Zhenyin - hehex, i wonder what I'd do with her. And eh, I'll amuse myself with Atikah and Izarina. Shannon - I'll be nice to him. Wella and Geraldine Toh will play the good guys. =) Hahax. Wee! It's hardwork but well, it can be fun. Especially cause got Isadora, Pearlyn and yes, especially Zhen Yin to work with. I'm so gonna have fun! Hahax....

Oki... other things I have to do soon:
1. Prepare for CDP (i.e. get the required materials and motivate my damn group)
2. Bug Mr. Cheng for OBS contact list and go shopping with the CCA Leaders if needed (to get my required things)
3. Buy a new bag!
4. Save money for Europe
5. Make time for my cell group in church
6. Make time for the ensemble (settle the christmas nonsense before I leave for Europe)
7. Complete my damn holiday homework
8. Bug Mr. Guru and Miss Williams for my literature texts so I can read in Europe
9. Make time for OGL Training
10. Compose more music
11. Form a band and try out new stuff with them! (will try to la... hehex...)
12. Plan what to get for mummy's birthday present (3rd Decemeber - bear in mind RTS theory. Hahax.)
*13. ^I'm not stating this but yea, I know what this is - very important one! hahax^ (13 is lucky number horx? Hahax... well, at least it's my lucky number... and hers too i think. Hahax.)

Yuppie! That's about it! And it's also about time to get to bed le. Ah! Hehex.. I'm a happy boy now! Hahax. Thanks God! Hahax... Well, time to turn in le! Good night world!

Work

2005-09-30T23:36:00.000+08:00

Been quite awhile since I've had the luxery of time to go online, chat and blog.
Oki... it's not like I have the time now but what the heck la ok? I'm damn burnt out and shagged le. Maybe sacturated would be a better term... yea, I guess it would since nothing is going in le.

I'm running on super low energy and a very short fuse. My temper has been suprisingly supressed for the last 1 month or so already however, it's getting a little hard to control now. I hate it when I flare up. I'll try to control a little longer - the stress and pressure will go away really soon.

Haiya... no mood blog le - still got my literature to mug. Oh well, I chose JC for myself so now I deal with my choice.

BACK TO WORK... AGAIN.... AND AGAIN!!!!

2005-09-16T00:31:00.000+08:00

we've got a daughter dear!!our first common thing tgt!!..hahaha.. cool!!.. we shall treat deb "nicely"..haha.. be a good daddy dear..

-she blogged..

(kai's too lazy to do so)

2005-09-11T01:02:00.000+08:00

So, she remembers my password... haha... thanks for blogging for me. =) Can help me update next time lo. Hehex.

I spent the most of today sleeping and reading so it's a boring day. Hahax. Oh well, I had enough fun yesterday. Hahax. Thanks to someone. =) Xie le! Hehex.

Mmmmx... oki, today today - what did I do? Morning just stone and chat online... then errrx, read my lit book (damn painful la!). Oh yea... daddy tested positive for denguee but eh, his immune system fought of the virus. *whew* Doc said that it's his second time somemore so very lucky to clear. Hahax. Thank God. =)

Then afternoon Kai slept again. I'm such a pig but what to do? I'll fight the sleep demon someother time. Hahax.

Church today was great. I was super hyper la. Jumping about during worship with my brother and cousins. Hahax. Cause yea, I suddenly realised how fortunate and blessed my family has been. I mean yea, Uncle Joseph, Daddy, Mama and Uncle Derek. All very sick somehow, faced life threatening diseases but pulled through. Thank God la... we're a blessed family in many ways. Hahax. Glory be to God... wee! And also, for myself... hehex... I've got a complete fun loving family and someone else, special and close to my heart. Hahax. =) Most of all, I've got God's love! Hahax. Amen!

Then went out with jiejie, melinda, beatrice, grace and colleen khoo after service for supper. We ate until super late then went back. Hahax. I was super crappy over dinner cause of the cashier that served us la - melinda commented that he's gay then he kinda showed favouritism for me... haha.. gave me large fries instead of my actual medium. =) So i started acting a little gay... haha... he gave me extra sweet chilli! Hahax. First guy to do so... awww.. so sweet. Hahax. Then jiejie kept staring at me... lalala... =) I'm straight la? Dont worry. Well, all that acting entertained beat and mel a lot. Hahax. Oh! Must mention this: Jiejie looks prettier since I last saw her - wonder why - think cause her hair's long again... hahax. =)
I love long hair... hahax... *winks*

Oki! Time for bed! Tmr got two cell meetings to attend then must study my King Lear le! Econs and GP can wait. Hahax. Toodles!

hee..hi!

2005-09-10T21:50:00.000+08:00

haha..hi..i blogged! hee.. guess who?

Time Goes By

2005-09-07T20:17:00.000+08:00

I slowly open my eyes. I'm just in time to see the doors close on me.
Helplessly, I look beyond the solid glass panels at the world beyond - it was my stop but I missed it...
Then I started moving - I didn't want to move but it carried me along. I wanted to stay, to get off but somehow, I made a mistake - my eyes were closed for far too long. I missed what I've been waiting so long for cause I was sleepy.

Haix. I look back at that scene which I experieced and it got me thinking. The MRT would symbollise time - it goes on no matter what. The glass panels that seperated me from Kovan station would be reality - the thing that holds us all back (no restarting). And then, myself. It's always because of my moods (be it anger or me being tired) that makes me do things I regret. All the "if only" will then start sprouting out but reality has it - it's been done. I can't change the past but the present? Is there like a U-turn option that I can embark on? Haix... hope so.

It's been about 72hrs since I last saw you face to face and a little more than 30hrs since I last heard your voice. It's coming to about 20 hours since I last heard from you... haix. The detatchment makes me feel lost and hurt. Your face pops into my mind once in a while - the cheery side of you; the one that makes me smile and laugh... I'll smile quietly to myself.
But then, occasionally, I'll think of the distance between us. How are you doing? Somehow, I'll feel a certain pain within that I guess you might be feeling.
Well, maybe you're not. Maybe I'm just conjuring it up myself. But still, I think and let myself get lost in my own thoughts.
I just want you by my side.
I just wanna hear your voice,
Know you're safe...
Know you're happy...
- silence -

Mmmmx.. I went out with my kiddy cell this morning. Woke up at 0715h and rushed down to lido to watch One More Chance. I was having fun until towards the end of the show when the couple's relationship kinda ended. My mind wondered a little and I suddenly, I felt real sad. I actually teared. I didn't cry but I teared. I dunno why. Thankfully, the kids didn't see anything... I don't wanna be questioned by them.
Oh... and Samuel successfully did 18 things to piss me off during the short 3hrs that we were together. Well, I controlled my anger this time - didn't lash out at him. I just joked and poked fun at him here and there. Bertram did all the hardcore work in hitting him... not under my instructions ar... he pissed Bertram off to I guess. Oh wellx... I tried to stop Bertram but he's rough. Ooppps... count yourself unlucky la Samuel.

Then after Bertram wanted me to go down to Esplanade with him but I declined his offer. I wanted some time to myself. So I left the kids and went down to the studio alone. That place brings back a lot of memories la... I normally go there to hide when I'm down. No one will bother me there... and there's no reception in there too so my phone won't ring so yea, peace and quiet. I went to play with the piano and keyboards a little until my fingers started hurting again. Then I just sat down in one corner of the room and stoned. It was as usual, super cold inside. But today, I felt colder - there was no warmth at all within. I was alone there and empty within. I began thinking about Gerard, Shue Jie, Shawn and the rest of my ex-classmates. I almost could picture them there, playing. Haix. I miss them! I miss fooling around with them and making noise. Oh well... and within me, my heart crunched again. I miss someone really badly. Haix. What to do? Kai just waits, aimlessly.

Train ride home was a quiet one. I got a sit and prayed silently to myself. I prayed myself to sleep la... and I missed my stop. I took MRT back to Kovan in the end and dragged myself home and locked myself in my room. I picked up Post Morterm to read again... it got interesting until my eyes started hurting like mad. I slumped back on the pillows and closed my eyes.

I hate those hours before bed - I dread them. The mind wonders - it fanthoms things that I don't wanna think about.

Haix. It's been a long and painful day for me. I'm emotionally, mentally, spiritually and physically busted. Oh well.. it'll get better. I want my fingers back first - I've got no way to destress thanks to the injured fingers la - no piano or guitar for me. And I don't have my flute with me. Means no music la... haix. I feel so empty and shattered...

I'm empty within. Will You fill me once again. And will you too, come back and take that open space within my heart that needs you to fill up? Will You? Will you?

Missing You

2005-09-06T23:47:00.000+08:00

I painted a nice picture today: red water trickling down from the tip of a brazened mountain. It's a perfect picture... ... Perfect picture of pain. My poor fingers... haix.

Haix. I got super fustrauted doing Differentiation today. I just realised I don't know anything about it. And I thought I was good at it. *Wow* Amazing what self-denial and self-delusion can do at times... I got so vexed over it that yea, I got angry with myself. In the process, definately did affect people too. Haix. I've gotta learn to control myself more sia. I think I ticked her off again. *shrugs* Sorry...

Then Samuel called me and I scolded him cause I was super irritated with all his last minute changes. Tomorrow must wake up early! Gosh... haix. Went to play guitar after I got off the phone with him and yes, cause I damn pissed, I intellegently tried plucking classical tunes on my guitar. And I pressed super hard and guess what, my hand suddenly felt quite wet. Thought it was sweaty palms until I decided to look. Wow! Blood! Hahax. I cut my little finger and ring finger. Hahax. No more guitar for three days. Oh wellx...

I went to read lit after that. Post Morterm is interesting yet, hard to read. Hahax. Wonder why. I guess I wasn't concentrating la. Chatted with Wai Ling after that cause I really felt like exploding le. Stress I guess. Wai never fails to cheer me up. =) thanks Wai! Hahax.

Hmmmx... trying to talk to her online now... no response. Hope you aren't harbouring anger. I know a thousand sorrys won't make a difference - I'll change... somehow... and learn to control myself - that's what I can promise you.

I'm missing you. Just to hear your voice? Haix. Miss you!

Pissed

2005-09-04T22:02:00.000+08:00

Each morning, you wake and find yourself there again - that same old room with the same white walls surrounding you. Everything is the same. And before you go to bed at night, you look around again - it still remains the way it was. The beginning of the day and the end - what's the difference?

Haix. I'm feeling super vexed now. I think I'm stressed out. I scolded my cousin just now cause I couldn't do my Mathematics Revision Worksheet. My cousin didn't do much - she reminded me that promos are coming are yea, I couldn't do some AP GP question so I vented my fustraution on her. Oh wellx...

Today started of as what many would perceive as a perfect day. Met her in the morning and walked to church. Made a detour half way through but yea, we still ended up in church on time. Then had cell at macs... She joined us and watched me get bullied by the kids. Whatever.

Then I read Andrew's book - "The Five People You Meet In Heaven". I thought the starting was damn stupid but as I continued reading, something within the text just thugged at my heart la... Until now, I still dunno what. Whatever it was, it started making me feel stress - time is short and what have I been doing? Argh! Oki, fine... at least I can be proud and say I finished the book in less than 4 hours.

Went to eat lunch with her then dragged myself back to church. I was seriously stoning. Then went third floor to study Mathematics only to realise that I didn't bring my tutorial along with me. Pissifying. Thankfully, she had Revision Worksheet 5 so yea, I attempted and completed it. Haix. Mathematics pisses Kai off - I somehow got super angry with myself while doing the worksheet but managed to supress my emotions until I got back home.

It was noisy at home. Nieces and nephews were messing up my house again. Grrrx... Got really irritated and threw what I call, the silent tantrum. I just told my nieces who kept disturbing me to leave me alone... I said it softly. Good thing they got the message or else, I would have flared up. Stress does this to me... haix. I locked myself in the room and completed the story book. I wanted to start on Revision Worksheet 4 but couldn't bring myself to.
I was waiting for my phone to ring... just a simple message but well, there was no response. Asleep I guess - that's what I told myself - better than nothing. Denial, it's the first step to freedom... but when you live your life too much in that own fantasy world of yours, reality eventually comes crashing in and there you find yourself, lost, alone and confused. I waited... no response.
Went downstairs to bang on the piano a little before the family pulled me out of the house to go for Jeremy's b'dae party. Hell, I didn't want to go oki? But well, act guai and tagged along. I was tired, stressed and moody somemore - you mean they couldn't tell? Haix!

At Jeremy's house, I locked myself in Nicholas room with Jia Ying to mug Mathematics. I can't do AP GP la... got super pissed and vented anger on Jia Ying. Sorry? Then later, ended up bitching to her about life in AJC. Then I told Jia Ying about her. Then talked about O'levels... we ended up talking and then, mummy called... ask us cut cake. The stress just came back like that. Moody Kai went downstairs to cut cake and had to force myself to smile when taking photos la... it was painful to smile. Ironic? Hahax... well, it is.

What does love really mean to me? I'm searching for an answer. I know it's more than giving up my own rights for someone... it's gotta be more than that. Haix. Love... what are you?
"Love and be silent."

Teachers' Day 2005

2005-09-02T21:07:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was Teachers' Day... the most memorable one of my life I guess... hahax. =)

Well, spent the whole morning and afternoon in school (yes, in school on a school holiday) for Leadership Training Workshop. The instructor was a total joke la - he said the phrase "My dear friends" a total of 18 times and well, failed to realise that we're not his friends! Hahax. And he kept on going about how we should "bondage friends"... hahax. He meant bond with our friends but guess he wanted to take the short cut la. And change the meaning at the same time. Heh... Rubbish instructor la. His collegues are no better - got this instructor Maggie ar... seriously la - damn irritating. Talk a bit or reply one SMS also make noise. Anal sia. Oh well... haha...

Then after the training workshop, stayed back to do planning for Open House. Boring la... hahax.

Went for dinner thereafter with her. Ate at Crystal Jade - hahax - we had trouble asking for soya sauce cause the waitress didn't understand English. Spectacular. Hehex.... whatever. The opposite table was kind enough to pass us theirs so we din make too bad a fool of ourselves.

Hahax. Then yea, Teachers' Day 2005 was super special after that. =) Thanks... hahax.

Went home after that then prayed for daddy. Almost forgot it was a friday the next day. Hahax. Talked to her on the phone for a while before going to bed. Oh well... Teachers' Day 2005... heh. A day that I'll remember. =)

Worried

2005-08-31T23:18:00.000+08:00

Haix. Can't stand myself sometimes. Another slip of the tongue just now. Argh. I have really got to learn to start processing my thoughts before speaking. Ah! Can't stand myself sometimes... feel damn dumb now la. I'm sorry oki? Haix...

I think I'm lapsing into one of my mood swings again. Bad. I'm thinking too much but well, what can I do? I'm worried! Daddy's going for an operation tomorrow. Can tell he's scared la - well, I am too... Haix - Life is just one big joke when you look back at it. I find myself making stupid mistakes, then regretting. All could have been avoided if only I bothered to use that brain of mine a little for. And I've got no one to bitch to now - Yang's at camp. Haiya! Just to make things worst, I pissed her off just now. Intactful bastard I am... I serious hate myself sometimes.
Here I find myself so helpless again. Striving to redeem myself but to no avial. And daddy? Hahax - what can I do besides pray?

I feel like crying again but the tears are dry. No one to turn to, just me, myself and I... all alone in this little dark room of mine. Staring at the ceiling, lamenting. If only I could turn back time... and leave all those horrid memories behind. Geez! I'm so mood swingy now... argh. But well, it'll pass... it'll pass... it always does. I guess.

Kai's sad...

Weird

2005-08-28T14:28:00.000+08:00

Uncle Allan visited my cell today and I didn't prepare the Word segment cause I fell asleep last night after talking to my mummy. Oopps... Zheng Xian did the ice breakers and worship quite efficiently so cell meeting started off fine. Word... hmmmx.. I started off by fluffing but somehow, logic finally came in. There was just this force within me, guiding me, giving me the verses to refer to... The cell meeting was a little lengthy but the kids were super attentive today. Something to be thankful for. I look back and ask myself why was today's cell meeting so successful despite the lack of preparation - then yea, remembered that right after worship, Zheng Xian prayed for me; for God's annointing to be upon me. It was Him who guided me through. Hmmmmx....

Yesterday was a long long day. had stAJe in the morning but that's not the point.
I'm thinking... thinking a little too much perhaps. What's with me? It was a nice Saturday... the time we spent together... Hehex... enjoyable and eh, fun. =) But was it too much? I really dunno. Kai, what's with you? You're being affected by others again... you know yourself best... Take control of your own thoughts and face them - no use running. Set your piorities right! Have you studied and prepared yourself SUFFICIENTLY for the upcoming examinations? I guess not... studied... yes... sufficiently and properly, no. Discipline boy, discipline. It's your own life... You control it yourself. You have the final say. And I believe in you - just be more focused. Don't distract yourself...

During service yesterday, I felt something different. Perhaps it's because I've been rather detatched... haix... a cell leader, detatched from God... Am I like being a total hypocrate? I felt sorta guilty... During worship, something touched me. I kneeled and prayed for myself - for guidance and discipline... wisdom and strength. Then suddenly, I started praying for that person. I dunno why but I just did. Mmmmmx.... It's real funny sometimes how someone so close to your heart can be so far apart from the truth. Love... hahax... I love God the most - no doubt... But will you ever share the same sentiments as me? Hahax... dunno... These things are just so weird sometimes... "love and be silent"...

I'm back early today to mug. Skipped Cell Leaders Month End Meeting and got scolded by Uncle Allan but whatever la. I've gotta study anyway. I'll be done with this and then go mug my maths - alone. I need to concentrate...
I feel like writing a song again... a love song... but to God... Something within me is misisng. I know not what. You felt weird you say? Well, I felt the same... But I wasn't scared... Why? Haix... whatever it is, know that you'll always have a place in my heart. Love you... and to God: I love You! This life is Yours to control. =)

Day 2

2005-08-20T23:59:00.000+08:00

Kai actually woke up early today to study. How guai of me. Hahax. Did a bit of Mathematics then went on to read literature. I'm getting a little sick of studying le - bad bad. 6 more weeks to promotional examinations and I'm so NOT prepared. *gulp* I shall try to put in more effort... oki, fine: I WILL put in more effort. I've got to anyway... I don't wanna get retained.

Took a break from the books in the afternoon and played mahjong with daddy, mummy and yang. Daddy won money today and I was like the big loser. Oh wellx.... Went to cut hair after the extremely painful game. Barber did a fine job. Now I don't have to bother to comb my hair anymore. Hahax. I got back the auto-spike hair le. Yuppie.

Took a bath and rushed to Douby to meet someone. Hahax. Arranged to meet at 6pm and well, I reached on the dot. Thought I was gonna be late and get scolded but errrx, ended up being 15minutes early. Ah.. whatever. =) Hahax.

Went to eat dinner together (after walking around Plaza Singapura looking for a place which wasn't fully occupied) then Eng Wen called. No tickets for Dim Sum Dollies. Thanks la Eng Wen. Luckily I didn't ask the whole stAJeworks to go. Hahax. So ended up watching Wedding Crashers. Walked over to Cathy to watch. Dunno what for but we just walked there. Then bought the 9:15pm tickets at like errrx, 8pm? Hahax. Spent the next hour walking around the area just chatting and stoning. Watched some live karate show (comdey la) then went window shopping. Hehex. First time in my whole life I can window shop and not get bored. Hahax.

Wedding Crashers is a super nice show. =) hahax. worth the money. My heart supposedly beated a little faster than normal during the show. *I laughed too much la kx? hahax.* Well, whatever it was, we both enjoyed the show and that's all that matters.

Took MRT home after that with her. Caught the second last train for both NS-line and NE-line. Lucky us. Hahax. Oki, lucky in that aspect of catching trains... but unlucky with who we met... hahax. Details, I shall hold back ba. =)

Hahax. I've been exceptional happy these few days. *Let's hope it'll last forever... hehe*

Hmmmx... I'm happy but yet, sad. Part of my little stAJeworks family is leaving. Daphne mummy... haix. I'll really miss you mum. Take care alright? I love you mummy....

And I love you too... =)

Euphoria

2005-08-16T22:47:00.000+08:00

This entry isn't supposed to make sense to the common reader so don't bother proceeding if you don't wanna waste time. =)

Tomorrow's day one. Hahax. Quite amused with how things could actually turn out as such but well, I'm happy and contented... It's been a long time since I've last felt like this. Thanks! *Kai's happy at last...*
Yet, apart from my own euphoria, the world seems to conform on those around me. Haix. Well, I'm super thankful for what I've got le. =)

*pray I will, pray I might... God, lend us light, and give us sight.*

The beginning has began but still, the end unknown. However, I'm being true to myself now, after a long time. I've found the joy that has been for so long, been lost to me.

Thank you.

I love you. =)

Call Call

2005-08-12T23:23:00.000+08:00

I miss sleeping - it's been 2 days since I've had a nice night's rest. *yawn* I'm so gonna drop dead and sleep once I'm done with this entry...

I've been grumpy for the whole day cause class leaders of AJC are super inefficient. Hahax. Sent more than 120 SMSes today trying to get ppl help me collate Interhouse Drama Competition Participants but errrx, response was bad la. Oki, let's not talk about it. Must thank Yvonne, Xaiver and Shannon for cheering me up la. Hehex. Can't imagine what I'd do without them - probably bitch the whole day to myself. Hahax. And people will think I'm mad... =) ok.. that's what people think already so whatever. Lalala....

Mmmmx... had briefing by Yvonne outside auditorium for investiture after school and wah lao, Celine was so irritating la! Someone was just behind her and she kept going on and on about that person! CELINE WOON!!! Hahax.... god... hope she din hear sia.

Went to play bridge after that. Bridge club rocks la! Hahax. Then chatted and stoned - I did not study today... not a single bit. Haix. Have I burnt out? Hahax... don't think so - just in stoning period.

Went for dinner after that. Ate at Jacks... long time since I've last eaten there. Enjoyed my steak. =)

Hmmmx... I'm thankful that my brains are not functioning much now - cant think and get emotional as a result. Hahax. I shall go sleep soon though. Tmr another long day. Nite world!

National Day

2005-08-09T23:42:00.000+08:00

Mummy woke me up this morning three times.
1. Ask we go park walk with her (duh... the answer was no? I slept at like 0200h and she woke me up at 0800h on a public holiday! Hahax.)
2. Ask me wake up go eat breakfast (0930h only! still can sleep one... turned her down grumply again)
3. Stormed into my room and scolded me (cannot remember wad she scolded but it was 1030h so yea, dragged myself off the bed)

Went for breakfast at errrx, forgot the prata shop name le. Hahax. =) yea... den went to order beehoon for the afternoon. Went home to stone after that... *yawn* I was sleepy lo. Hehex...

1230h left house for helmi's place. Stoned there with xinyu, chin thin, xaiver and shannie until daph mummy and xinjie arrived. Bryan Tan came too and we played black jack. I won $25 =) and shannie won like $22... Xaiver won abuout $15+ and guess what, Helmi was the banker. Poor soul went bankrupt. Awww...

Mmmmx... then we ate the food that we brought. Xinjie played with the drum set and made noise. I got bored and started stoning after some time. Yea. Then borrowed xaiver's phone to chat cause was going into severe stoning mood le.

Sky turned dark soon enough and we were like watching NDP parade, singing national athem (out loud) and posing for photos. The shots were all damn nice la - Helmi played with the lights. Hahax.

Then watched Sin City! Nice show but din get to finish it cause dad came to pick me up. Got school tmr! Argh... hahax... oh well... I've got wake up call but errr... hope it works. After the drinks, I doubt it will. Hahax. =( screwed.

Oki.. time to sleep! nite world!

Muggers Of The World Unite

2005-07-31T23:32:00.000+08:00

Just came back from my 10.5hrs study maraton with Yvonne. I'm such a mugger. Morning had cell then went to meet her at bus stop - she bluff me no 107 la! Made me walk here and there. Nonsense. =(

Then went to serangoon gardens to mug. That macs brings back memories la - remember the O'level days - haix. I miss my secondary school days. JC life's tough. Oh well... Life's a straight path with no turning back.

Then mugged and mugged lo - stuggled with maths - mdm ng's right la - i dun really know my concepts.

Mugged till 9pm+ den went to chomp chomp eat dinner then proceeded back to macs to mug econs. Oh! Met Heidi there too... and she really brought back more memorable memories. I miss studying with her. Haix... those long and painful nights... i miss them. =( and then also mugging with Chenting, clement, sebastian and shaoxian... haix... it was all in that macs.

Got kinda emotional towards the end of mugging session. Mood swings set in also.

Left the place at around 10:30pm then went back via 136. Rushed home cause wanted to rest... Now listening to my own horrid voice... Argh... wadeva! Nite world! I've studied too much but wadeva - tmr round two...

*when i find out who's posing as Amanda, i'll skin the person alive*

Poem

2005-07-25T03:00:00.000+08:00

One single light,
One light in the dark.
One light shining brightly,
All alone at night.

Burn clear burn strong,
With brilliant beaming.
Burn with that light,
As bright as day.

***********************

Midnight cradles my candle's flame,

Whilst winds suppress thy solemn pain.

Flickering, faltering, flaming friend,

May your lone light live on.

When is the end of this torrential storm?

I find it real hard to go on strong.

This single light may be burning bright,

But perhaps not last through this night.

************************

Haix. 0300h and I'm still awake.

Candle flame, how long will you burn on all alone?

Candle flame, is this how you choose to go?

Candle flame, I'm fading away along with you...

Candle flame, is life's storm that hard to take?

*been sometime since I've written poems - whatever - I've not been myself*

happy...

2005-07-19T23:08:00.000+08:00

In one of those nutty moods of mine - wonder why I feel so happy... hahax....

Hmmmx... day started off with rain and didn't see my eye candy. So saddening horx? But well, things brightened up along the way la.

I understood most of the nonsense that Mdm Ng taught during maths tutorial today! Yea... success! Finally, something I understand again. Lalala... then erm, detective lit was a stoning period for me cause we were still going through Marlowe whom I'm kinda sick of. =) Well, got sufficient brain rest during that period and civics too. Clement Cheng was nice today lo - he pratically gave the class the whole civics lesson to talk. I was munching on Bee Bee Snacks in his face somemore. A bit bad but whatever. Hahax - When Kai's mouth is itchy, he better chew on something or it goes out of control.

Econs lecture was a bore cause mmmx, well, guess my mindset wasn't right. I hate our lecturer - especially after what happened yesterday! Grrrrx... Oh! And according to Harry, teachers have been blog surfing but I don't really care. Read then read lorx. =) It's my blog afterall... hehex.

Back to literature with Ms Williams - I didn't really read King Lear but well, fluffed my way through. She was a bit fustrauted though - I'd make sure I read ahead le... cannot push my luck any further. *kai, reality check ok? fluffing does not work in Junior College!* Oki - I promise to finish act 3 by the end of this week... not for williams but yea, for myself la - i'm behind in literature and not performing as well as I should be. *what's wrong with me ar? My power subject is like my crippled subject now! Wakie Kai!*

After lit was econs tutorial! I fixed the visualizer! Hahax. Not bad eh? Then luckly, I did my essay - escaped punishment. =) Then I managed to fluff my way through the presentation of answers again. I really gotta stop fluffing and do my work le! Hahax. GP tutorial was spent stoning as usual but well, I did learn a little from Cheng. Hahax. As for GP lecture, errrrx, I was messaging someone. =) so wasnt paying attention. Hahax. Ooppps...

Went back to class to study after lecture - alone... finished my maths homework (all that i could do) and then proceeded to read a little of Lear before Xinyu and Xavier came up. Ended up talking to them in the end lo. Had chocolates to eat too...

Then later shannie came and we played bridge in class. Played until I was late for CCA Leaders meeting. Shit. Hahax. *my nice excuse: I was studying in class and forgot about the time cause was too engrossed.* Hahax. Fluffing again! Hehex. Haiya... the briefing was damn sicken but well, someone was there so brightened it up. Hahax. It's a tough year ahead for the CCA leaders... wee! Training programs eating up all our holidays! It'll be fun if something does happen in the midst =) hahax... crappy la kai! Argh....

Oh! Heyx! I figured out one reason why I feel a little crappy. I got a little extra something from the CCA Briefing... hahax. =) Not telling... hahax.

Mmmmx... went for dinner at mummy's office thereafter then went home and stoned. Havent started on work yet - shall do so right about... now!

Song Writing

2005-07-18T01:00:00.000+08:00

I miss spotting the difference...

0100h in the morning and I'm amusing myself with music. I've been in this weird composing mood... three songs in two days - cool right? Hahax. And now I'm fooling around with some lyrics that xinyu sent to me. I want a distortion pedal for this song! Hahax. It's damn funny la! =) How much further can I manupilate this song? Hmmmmx...

about 12 more hours to chinese listening comprehension and I can't seem to get to sleep. I clocked at least 6hrs of sleep today le. *Piggy me...* Oh well... I shall go read my literature text in a while - and continue listening to the recordings. Hahax. Wee!

Hmmmx... another two more songs (excluding xinyu's one) and I can cut the new CD le! Yuppie. Oh... but still have to finish orchestrating Starlight. Gosh... hahax. I'll find time! =)

Would you like to be me for a day?
Hear what others have to say...

Hahax. Sneak preview la. And xinyu, thanks for the lyrics... don't worry, I'll repay you somehow... if I plan to cut the song into the CD that is... hehex +)

Oki! Off to the lit text! Night world!

Pissed

2005-07-14T23:14:00.000+08:00

I'm pissed...

I'm in one of my foul moods again. Sent two important messages to the whole stAJe today and got less than 5 replies. Damn irritating la! Used up more than 40 messages sending to all of them. At least give me a reply can? Let's exonerate the innocent people: Shannon, Xavier, Nihaad, Xinyu, Xinjie and Chinthin. By the way, my three classmates are exempted cause I didn't message them and not cause they replied. Bahx. Haix...
Oki... I so need anger management cause yes, I know it showed damn clearly that I was pissed in the second message I sent...
Then had to call the JC2s... wah - super pissifying la. Oki, there were the usual nice ones but some ar, talk also like damn annoyed like that. Hear that tone one thing la, then I still must try to sound friendly. *whine* Good thing Xinyu helped with the calling - if not sure blow my top one. Thanks fishie =) nice secretary. Hehex.

Anyway, I think I owe stAJe an apology la. Must learn to keep my cool.
Sorry stAJeworks...

Well, let's put this aside. Hmmmx... i still got my economics essay to rewrite so errrx, shall just quickly encapsulate my day here:

Lessons today boring as usual - I almost dozed off during lost of them.
Had chinese oral today too! God, I was damn nervous but well, prayed and pulled through. I spoke chinese for 5 successful minutes. =) yuppie. Thank God la...

Then had PE! I love afternoon PE now! I just realised someone's in our afternoon PE group! Hahax. So fun! I was allowed to go play games but well, decided to train with those who failed NAFA cause... hehex. Oki, not saying - those who know, know. Dunno, just remain blur. Hahax. =) Trained a while then went to play badminton. Hahax. Initially played with Celine den Xavier came so played with him. Xinyu and the 35/05 ppl turned up and played with them later. Hahax. I wasn't focused during the game. =) Hehex. Lalala...
oki kai, stop it! Hahax.... getting a bit too much le...
Can't remember what other sports I played but i know I played for nearly 4hrs. =) hahax. Cool right? Shall try again next wk if got time. Hehex.

After games then went out for dinner with the BDD and xinyu. Ah! Fish took my phone and typed rubbish in my phone book again. =)
Then after dinner, she played with the chromatic tuner that i left in my bag. Lent it to her in the end so she can errr, try to train perfect pitch? Hahax. Long way man! Took me like 4yrs at the bare minimum and errrx, I'm rusty le. Hehex.

Oki... time to end off! I've got an econs essay to rewrite! Night world!

Starlight

2005-07-10T23:59:00.000+08:00

Starlight
A single star,
It lights my path.
In times of darkness,
It shows me the way.
That single star,
It warms my heart.
When I am down,
It lifts me up...

Chorus:
Starlight... just shine upon me.
Let Your love flow,
And set me free...
I will follow You,
Your promises so true.
My Starlight,
My guide through the night.

20minutes work - that's going down in my record book. It's been really really long since I've gone back to God and yea, I kinda collasped last night cause of a whole month without His guidance. I might sound like some religious freak but well, life isn't the same without God. Oppression and all that nonsense sets in.

Well, during cell today, Uncle Allan gave us 20minutes of free time to do anything we want as an expression of worship to God. I kidnapped the guitar and wrote the above song lo. The lyrics came very easily cause yea, there's been many things going on in my life and errrx, I know I wouldn't have been able to support myself throughout everything.

Last night was a painful night. The details, I'd not go into but well, it did clear things up. =) On top of that, I was questioning myself of why I'm where I am today - in AJ, suffering? A cell leader who's currently running on low fuel? A ministry head with a whole ensemble of noobs? Where's my life going la. Then yea, remembered Mama too. Yea. Was kinda depressed and couldn't sleep lo.
*mummy, I know you've been reading my blog. Just pretend you din see this entry oki?*
Tried writing a song but well, it was so damn forced that I couldnt get anything that sounded right out. Then remembered: my talent in music is what God gave to me - no God, all collaspes. So yea, I lugged myself to bed in the end - slept with a heavy heart but well, I prayed, after a very long time of being alone. Cant remember what it was but I asked for peace - I got peace alright.

Kids cell was fun today. Bertram never fails to irritate and cheer me up. Then during CGL meeting, yea, the song came ever so naturally... I like the music too (though it's adapted here and there...) and ummmx, I shall orchestrate this piece for God. I'll try not to get emo while doing so though. Hahax.

Went to the Esplanade library after cell for project work meeting. Hahax. It's been a long time since I stepped into the place. Remembered the old times... ah well.. over le. =) Xiu Fang and Hui Lin met me there and we got to work lo. Today quite productive. Yeahx.... Then bought chocolate strawberries for myself and Hammie. I tell you, those things are decomposing in my bag now la! Hammie, I dont care, u're eating them tmr! And paying me the $5. Hehex.
Someone else owes me $46 too horx? hehex. Don't ask me how you accumilated the debts horx. I dunno. Pay by installments lo. Hehex. I'll have the cheap thrill of hounding you for money. *oki... the thrill is kinda expensive la...* Hahax. Oki.. I'll be nice - take ur time - I'm in no need of money... yet... +)

Okiex! Kai's gonna be a mugger for the rest of the year. I've got a lot of things to do la. And yea, through it all, I must remember to turn back to God. Hahax. Religious it may seem but well, it works wonders. Nice God i've got. Hahax. =) Well, back to work!

Mahjong...

2005-07-03T00:52:00.000+08:00

Nothing like a game of Mahjong to end off your day...

I woke up at about 1000h today... considered quite early since I was chatting with Wai Ling online till about 0200h. =) Mummy was, as usual, working on her laptop while daddy and yang were still fast asleep. I tried to play piano but errrx, whatever came out was so crappy that mummy told me to stop. Hehex. Oppps... so yea, went to my room and stoned in front of the computer. Went blog surfing before I got fed up and woke the family up. I completed the Madness game three times la! Hahax. I went mad after that...

Went out to go eat lunch - supposed to go for some XO Fish Head Beehoon but well, the stupid stall was closed so had to settle for Kuey Chap. Whatever. I'll try that XO thingy other day - daddy says it's very nice. Scooted off to Mama's house to visit her after lunch. She's going for radio treatment on monday so yea, go visit her at home first lorx. I chatted with her for a while then went to entertain my nephews and nieces. Crazy bunch of cute kids la. =) Hahax. They were argueing about whether males are females are better. Hahax.They're growing up! Awwwx... hahax. I sided the guys *duhx* and obviously, cause got my brother there too, out talked the rest la. Hahax. Damn amusing la. Hehex. And they are still trying to figure out who my girlfriend is... hahax!
*has it ever occured to them that I'm still single?*
Hahax...

After we were done at mama's place, all the kids came over to my house and gosh.. shall not elaborate. So much for family time la... mummy went back to work and yang and daddy entertained them. I stoned cause kinda vexed le. Hahax. Mmmmx... then yea.. they played until the got tired so they settled down. After dinner, they were quite dead le - but still damn talkative!!!! Hahax. Kids.. whatever - they're cute.

Since they were tired, daddy, mummy, yang and me decided to play Mahjong! Hahax. They watched us play lorx. And Ben kept screaming and shouting. Hahax. Today's game was good! Won a third of all the money we staked. Hahax. Yeahx! After the terrible lost with stAJe ppl, at least I got consolation with the family.. and parents were not giving chance! Hahax. Daddy almost had a super big win... lucky mummy calling same thing as him and intercepted... if not we all bankrupt le. Hahax. I intercepted daddy's win once too - another big one. *whew*

Okiex.. i should be getting to bed now... got performance later in church. Blahx. Nitex world!

Exams Over!

2005-07-01T01:05:00.000+08:00

Papers are finally over! Let freedom ring!

Woke up early (by myself) today cause wanted to go cut hair but guess what, the barber on leave today. So much for a personal barber. *whine* Well, at least I didn't have to be awaken by Wai Ling's call - she didn't hear me whine on the phone. =) Hahax. Her physics paper same fate as my Mathematics 9233 le la - fingers can count the marks (ie. screwed until cannot screw anymore...) thus, she called me to bitch. Hahax. Oh wellx...

Went up 12 stories and took my morning bath. At least there was warm water today... then uploaded some new songs into the MP3 player before scooting off to school. I decided to wait for 53 today and good thing I did la - it came relatively fast... Changed to 853 thereafter. Met Gerry Kang and the BDD on the bus. Reached school too early! 1100h in school when the paper is at 1230h... haix. I could have slept for another hour la! Irritating. Stoned in the canteen with Cia Ai, Xavier and Gerry lorx. Oh!!! And my new eyecandy was there! Hahax. It's a girl... dun worry... hahax.
*CUTE!!*
Hahax. Oki - she serves to perk me up during dull mornings. Yea! I didn't bother revising my chinese cause too busy stealing glances la - oppps... hahax. Oh.. and I noticed three CHS guys are in her class - she seems quite close with them. Hahax. Ahhhh! On with my day....

Chinese paper was damn funny. I actually survived three hours fifteen minutes of non-stop chinese! An achievement for me! Hahax. I think I had an hour to stone though - a lot of MCQs so tikam all the way lorx - but I don't think I'll be that screwed. Hahax. Am I gonna get my $50 increment? Hahax. We'll hope and pray. If I get the increment, I'm buying Xavier lunch - I promise. He did help me lorx! Hahax. Studying with him paid off - though I did a bit of work only. Hahax. Who else wants to teach me chiense now? Hahax.... but if I fail, you buy me lunch to console me oki? Hehex...

Went to poke balls after the paper. Met Wai Ling, Fish, Daphne and Shannie at Macs first... so we had harry, the BDD, me, chinthin (who joined us late) and those four lorx. Harry and Wai din bring home clothes so errrx, we left them behind. *sorry wai ling... I actually had extra clothes but see, my mother stopped me...* Hahax.

The six of us began our 4hours of pool after that lorx. I played solo with Chin Thin for the first three games. Let's not talk about those three games... that bitch is damn lucky la! Hahax. Then moved over to the 9ft table. Paired up with Xinyu and continued poking balls. The first game was crap la - black ball and all our opponents' balls stuck at one corner. Hahax. Rubbish! Second game we lost... third game we lost by a small margin cause I foolishly missed two easy shots. Damn Xavier la! Hahax. Third set we won (at last)... hahax. Oh.. I finished the black ball with a backslice - can't believe myself sometimes... the hard shots then can? Haiya... whatever. Oh... Xinyu's weaknesses are my forte and vice versa. Hahax. That didn't help much cause Daphne's setting up was damn irritating! Hahax. I can hit one, she give fish... I cannot hit one, the BDD gives me... wtf! Hahax. Whatever...

Went to mos to meet Wai and Harry after the long game. My flu started reacting again. Thankfully, Hammie had flu tablets. *thanks wai ling!* I tried to eat but errrx, no appitite again. *I hate falling sick - I lost another 2kg lei! So dead...* Proceeded to ang mo kio MRT station to check our bus passes *waste time la... stupid announcement made by the VP in school!*. Yea. Then after that we went our seperate ways. Harry sent Wai home... Shannie and chinthin went back together.. Daphne and Xavier left together and I cabbed home with Xinyu... Forgot what happened in the cab le - all I rmb was her asking me to ask yaya to collect money. Hahax. *oh well... hehex...*

Reached home and bathed... then wanted to use computer but guess what? Mummy was hogging the laptop, daddy using my computer and yang mugging in front of his computer. So Kai had nothing to do but play piano. But see, it was too late to play so I had nothing to do... so played with my handphone and finally figured out why I haven't been able to receive or send mms-es! I didn't activate the phone's function la! Whatever... i'm dumb. Hahax.

Finally got back the computer at 0100h and errrx... no one's online now except xinyu... blahx. I'm gonna stone very soon - I miss studying! DIE! Hahax. Something's wrong with me!

Oh yea... church ensemble is really pissing me off la! My whole team got 10 over people and now what, church anniversary drop out until got less than 5 left! It's so damn irritating la. Means the song I arranged cannot be played le. I've got one super inexperienced violinist only somemore! Haix. One clarinet only and two flutes. Super off balance lor. Haix. It's really hard leading an unresponsive team with hardly and musicality. *headache*

For consolation, stAJeworks is now officially defrosted! Back to work Chinthin, Kai, Xinyu and Akshaya! As well as the rest of you people! Hahax. Work work!

Wai Ling..

2005-06-29T20:11:00.000+08:00

Wai Ling never fails to cheer me up... alongside with the spastic Teletbbies Theme Song which has been playing on loop since I started chatting with her. Oh well... matches her personality anyway. =)

Was woken up by Wai Ling's call this morning. I wanted to sleep for another hour one but well, she called la. The conversation was super spastic la:
Wai: Kai? Orh orh... you sleeping ar?
Kai: Talking to you now la.
Wai: Sorrie... you want strepsils for your throat ma?
Kai: I'm still at home sleeping!
Wai: You need or not?
Kai: You wanna come my house pass to me is it? Or you want me go school now?
Wai: No?! I'm leaving school le.
Kai: Then if I say I want how?
Wai: I leave with someone in school lorx.
Kai: Haiya. Don't need...
Wai: Oh... you know my chemistry paper? I had no time to finish so I shaded a whole row of As... you think I'll pass?
Kai: Good night!
I was so amused that I couldn't get back to sleep after we hung up. Who would shade a whole row of As? At least have a little variation la. Hahax. Oh well.. it's Hammie! Must understand...

Took a super long shower to perk myself up... stupid heater failed half way so I ended up soaking myself in ice water. My nose started to run and block at the same time... Don't ask me how that happened.. all I know is it was damn irritating. Then I started sneezing like no one's business. Throat started hurting like hell - should have taken Wai Ling's offer. Oh wellx.. took two panadol cold tablets after that (like it would be of any use!) and errrrx, opened the fridge for water. I just grabbed the Sprite bottle and drank its contents. Five seconds later, I realised I had just glupped down half a bottle of soft drink! Yucks. Asprine rising up your throat doesn't feel good. It hurt too. Haix. Oh wellx...

Took bus to school instead of taxi (for once) and yea, sat for listening comprehension. Haix. Couldn't concentrate during the paper cause was thinking of what I was thinking last night. I almost fell asleep during the one minute introduction. The paper was 2003 higher chinese listen compre so errrx, I think I'm screwed. Dun understand and couldn't focus. Haix. Oh well... it's over.

Studied chinese with Xavier after the paper. He taught me... very patient man.. thanks BDD! Hehex...

Went home after that and started stoning... memorized a few chinese proverbs to use tmr... haix.

Wai Ling's going offline soon... hope my mind doesn't drift off again. Better occupy myself with studying.. for chinese... oh wellx...

Will I Be Here For You?

2005-06-29T00:00:00.000+08:00

Listening to Michael W. Smith's I Will Be Here For You now.
*Can I be there for you? I guess not. I'm so sorry... I want to help but I don't see how.*

Life is just so fragile and unpredictable. One moment it's there and next, it's gone. Damn you Satan! Why must you do this? Argh!

Feeling so helpless - I'm might be loose someone close to my heart because of cancer and there's nothing I can do. So what if we have all the riches of the world? Money can't buy a life!
*Please hold on mama... we'll find a way - somehow.*
I'm quite sick and tired of all these up and downs. Can't my life just settle down once and for all? What Wai Ling terms as "a colourful life" is becoming a real pain for me. Human nature sucks la - we never treasure things until we're about to loose them. Haix. I can't bare to let go of the very person who had taken care of me when I was young. She was the one who clothed me, bathed me and fed me my meals. She provided for me but now, I CAN'T do the same? I hate myself.

Song changes to Michael W. Smith My Place In This World.
*How timely. What in the world is going on with my life? What reason is there for it? It's painful.*

*where do I belong?* I begin to doubt myself. Maybe Edmund's terms of base is more suitable for me. Haix. What area in life have I succeeded in? Besides music, there's nothing la! Fine. One must be thankful for small mercies but still, what's the point? Music music... haix. I'm already getting sick of it. Everytime I write something, I go into two weeks of depression. Why bring myself to torture myself? This is damn stupid la!
*kai, it's time you decided on what you wanted...*
Music - I'm break my own promise not to compose and orchestrate anything until the end of promos. It's becoming a habit. Everytime I feel down, I'd write something. The worst I feel, the more I write. And the more I write, the worst I feel. Principle of multiples apply here. Ahhh!
*I wanna cry but... I don't see the point. What purpose does it serve anyway?*

This is the first time in life whereby I really find myself alone with no one to turn to. Maybe cause I dun wanna trouble anyone anymore with my cocked up life la. The whole family is already worried enough... no point. And the examinations aren't helping la. How to concentrate you tell me? Haix. Churchmates... haix... I'd be expecting the same response again la: "don't worry. We'll be praying." Yea yea.. I appriciate it but I'm looking for something more than that. Love. It ain't a one way thing la. I love my god-mum la. I don't wanna let go. But giving out of the empty? That's hard. *That's life kai!*

I shouldn't have slept in the afternoon. Now I can't get to sleep. No drinkable alcohol at home somemore. *whine* Chinese listening is about 12hrs from now... I dun wanna go la. Probably can't focus.

God... please? I dunno what to say le... Just cure Mama please.

I'm tired of living le. Life has lost it's meaning. Haven't gone to see the doctor yet - I think I'll just cough my life away la. Throat's getting worst - it hurts when I speak now. Well, at least I don't see blood anymore. Wai Ling, please remember my glass coffin oki?

Haix. I've gotta occupy myself with something. I'm thinking too much. Down to the piano. But I can't bang now - it's late. Whatever. Guitar's avaiable if it's too noisy. If still too noisy, I'll find the ear phones and use the electone. Grrrrx... I hate this life la!

*Mama... please pull through...*

Mathematics 9233

2005-06-28T21:23:00.000+08:00

If I pass my mathematics 9233 for mid-year... ...

Another two down... one last one to go. Economics was fine - hope I can scrape a B or something. There wasn't enough time to complete writing my essay and to do the DRQ but oh well, what's done is done. We'll see what happens.

Mathematics 9233 paper is gonna be the death of me - I'd be quite thankful if I can get a two digit mark le. Blanked out when I saw the questions la... even trigonometry which I mugged for seemed so foreign. I'm so dead... and until now, I still can't figure out how to do this question:
sin(2x) - sin(3x) = cos(x) - 1, give the general solution.
I was stuck at this thing for like 20mintutes can still couldn't do. I had too much time anyway - as if I could do the rest. Repeat myself again - I'm so dead for mathematics. Hahax. *wOoOo!*

Haiya... I'm in one of those cocked moods today - neither her nor there. After the papers, I went straight home cause damn tired. Chatted with Yen Hao in the bus - he's screwed too but less dead than me for mathematics la. Blahx! Then the worst thing happened to me la - I went Joseph on the bus... Yes! The mad one. He stood beside me and said "hi". I was like ekkkk! Hahax. Then Yen Hao still can sit there and laugh at me. Idiot. Then got one lady alighted the bus so I took her seat - the bugger came to sit beside me and started talking to me. Haix. I was occupying myself SMSing Wai Ling and Xinyu la.. but he kept on talking and talking until he reached his stop. Now I know why people scared of him. Oh! Then there was this fat arse sitting beside us right, he brought he whole radio into the 853 bus and was blasting it at top volume. Note ar... it's RADIO. No earphones! Bloody irritating la. Hahax.

I had to run to catch 53 - Joseph's unlucky. Then on the bus, this freaking lady wearing high heels stepped on my foot. Then she looked at me somemore and smile. Pain oki! And she's not say light. My fourth toe's swollen now cause of her. Grrrx!

Got home, chatted online for a while then slept until 8pm. Supposed to give Fish wake up call one but errrx, haiya, I slept la. *oink* Now my bio clock is cocked - explains why I feel so blur now. Hahax. Oh wellx...

No one had better reminded me of the mathematics paper ar... I'm getting depressed over it le... haix. Should have studied more! *whine*

Flu?

2005-06-27T18:00:00.000+08:00

Hmmmx... what does it mean when you start coughing blood?

I'm down with a damn flu... I'm sneezing and coughing my life away. *Ahchoo!* I'm killing trees like no one's business too not to mention. I've finish half a box of tissue le. I think I'm turning to toilet paper when this box finishes. Hahax. Oh... then got more cool one - dry cough right, so very irritating. Then just now horx, I cough cough then felt like go phlegm at last... then went to toilet to spit... oOoOo... red colour one... hehex. I'm dying le la. =) Think can go join god-ma in the hospital soon. *ahchoo!* I'd finish my exams first though.

Anyway, no use harping over my frail body - later still got ensemble practice at church. Disappointing la - so few players... and I still must go?! This ministry head thingy is starting to irk me but well, God gave me talent in music so errrrx, hahax, it's supposed to be used to serve Him... Lalala... oh yea! I've gotta mug my maths and econs too. *whine* So much to do, so little time. *just let me die la.. haiyo!* Hehex. What's up with me ar... so fasinated by death all of a sudden. Crappy. I need sleep!

Cleared literature and GP today. Yuppie. Both were fine but please don't ask me for details. I became sick after the papers so errrx, I can't remember anything I wrote. Thankfully, was totally fine during the paper itself la. Hahax. Thank God. =)

Oki.. how am I supposed to play flute later with my flu? Hehex. Wonderful.. I think I'd stick with the piano for one day. =( Stress! I'm gonna sight-read elasticity concepts later... and play the actual pieces by ear cause I freakin' havent taken the sheet music yet. Hahax. Too busy mugging. Lalala... and too lazy too. +)

Okiex.. Gotta get down to work and errrx, see doctor later I think. Coughing blood three times in a row aint funny - but quite amusing la. There's seriously something wrong with me le - hahax - think I fried my brain. Blahx. Well, back to work!

Mugging Session - Part 3

2005-06-23T11:59:00.000+08:00

Today's the third day of mugging... and well, according to the law of decreasing returns to scale, output is falling. What's more, I think the diseconomies of scale are also setting in la... they more money I spend on food, the less I study le. *crap!* Now, I really need to find a new source of input which will help increase my efficiency... Technical economies might aid.. maybe should find specialisation lorx.

*argh! screw econs!*

IVLE Test Results quite disappointing...

Elasticity of Demand: 20/31
Production and Costs: 29/44

Oki... slight consolation - both were first attempts and errrx, didn't refer to notes. But well, the question I got wrong, I dunno why the hell they are wrong.. either that or it was a damned careless mistake. Haix. There's gonna be like so no room for error during the mid-years. Which reminds me...
ONLY FOUR MORE DAYS TO MUG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Kai's very screwed!

Finished mugging econs today (that is one of the few other consolations) and started a little on literature. I find myself using Melissa Neo's method of cramming lit lei.. haix.. damned bitch! Her method better work or I'll hate her more. If I still don't clear lit properly this time, I'm so going to see Guru personally... and if that fails, Sheau will be of help. Last resort will be Cheleen Jiejie le lorx... haix.. Literature IS unexpected... even the marks are. Blahx! I chose this path so well, walk it to the end.. if I fall of the cliff then... hahax... pray? Oh gosh..

Tomorrow mugging with Shannie, Xavier and Xinyu... I miss Wai Ling already... hahax. I must learn to study without Hammie though... hehex. Must learn to be independent and errrx, adaptable. Bye Hammie! I shall overcome my mental barrier in mathematics 9233 tomorrow! But for now.. the bed's calling me... nitex world!

Oh... and God... just see me through this time k? Thanks and good night!

Mugging Session - Part 2

2005-06-22T23:59:00.000+08:00

The day encapsulates into a simple monosyllabic word: mugged. Ten whole hours spent mugging with Wai Ling today - tiring but well, fruitful. I can't do Trigo for nuts. So need to see Mdm Ng on Friday le.. if not, super screwed for common test le...

Tomorrow's gonna be part three of mugging. Shall finish off econs and start on literature le. Mathematics can wait damn it... I'm so not gonna piss myself off again by attempting to do Trigo or any other of those weird weird sums le... It's so damn irritating... Maybe I'm just not built to do Maths la.. oh wellx... Thanks Xinyu and Pearlyn for helping up though... =) I'd pulled the house down, along with Wai Ling, if not for them la... stupid questions... Hahax...

Oh wellx... tomorrow Xaiver and Shannie joining in to mug... Wai Ling hasn't confirmed yet - hope she can come though - no mugging partner means must get used to new ppl (ie. more time wasted adapting)... Haix... that's life! Toddles then... bed's calling...

Mugging Session - Part 1

2005-06-21T11:59:00.000+08:00

^I promise I'll finish mugging all the elasticity concepts after I finish this entry...^

Spent today mugging with Xaiver, Shannie and Wai Ling. All of us were supposed to meet at my house at 1330h but well, I woke up at 1325h la. Thankfully, when messaged Wai Ling, she was just going to bathe. Shannie and Xaiver were also gonna be late... *whew* =) so yea, ate the lunch that Daddy bought then played piano until Shannie and Xaiver arrived. The BDD was sick la... then still come my house spread germs... hahax. He slept in the end lorx. Shannie stoned while I carried on fondling the upright piano...
*piano's out of tune le... must find a day where I free - call the damn tuner over... I so cannot stand an off key piano!!!*

Hamster arrived shortly and yea, we began the mugging session at about 1430h... I mugged econs like nobody's business la - covered the whole elasticity of demand concepts... *yeahx! success!* Wai Ling got so sick of her mathematics question that she cried! Wahx... Now I'm freaking scared to do Trigo le.. Think I'll throw temper if I cant get the gist of it... oh no...

Then yea... we mugged till 1730h then I called Pearlyn to help Wai Ling with the question and guess what... it was solved in less than 10minutes! *thanks Pearlyn! Owe you!* Hahax. Slacked for an hour and half after that. Went to my room then all packed on my bed. Shannon and Wai Ling were being scandalous! Grrrx... *Harry, go kill shannie!* Hahax. I just snuggled between them and stoned la. Xaiver was at the corner of the bed - still half-dead and sick.

Dinner was ready by 1900h so we went down to eat lorx. Watched TV and stuffed ourselves. Hehex. Shannon spilled water all over my table! Idiot. Hahax.

After dinner, the 'fun' began. The peak of studying... *chiong!* We hardcore studied le... damn serious... My economics concepts for the topic were confirmed la... Shannon's really a good teacher. Hahax. Mugged contineous until 2100h then Xaiver and Shannon had to leave... so they left lorx. Wai Ling and I continued mugging... She helped me with a little econs and I helped her with maths... I so am gonna screw my maths if i don't study soon... hmmmx... thursday I'll try to study maths ba... must secure my econs first! I'm not gonna fail econs! Grrrx....

So the both of us studied until 2300h then called it a day... Wai Ling packed up then I sent her home lorx... Tmr we gonna have round two of mugging! I can study with Wai Ling and Shannon... yeahx! Wai Ling shall be my official crapping and studying partner le.. hahax.

Well... I'm off to reading and understanding my elasticity of supply concepts.. Then it's off to bed.. tomorrow is gonna be a long mugging day! *i'm so living up to AJ's reputation... that's good I hope? Blahx...*

Oh yeahx! stAJeworks is frozen... must remember that I'm not going to do anything concerning stAJe except the important admin stuff until the common tests are over... blahx... I miss stAJeworks already though...

stAJeworks Chalet

2005-06-20T20:00:00.000+08:00

oOoOo... I feel like I'm on Titanic now. Consequence of 4 cups of Gin, 2 bottles of E33, a bottle of Bacardi Lime and half a can of Irish Ale. Hahax. stAJe Chalet for the past two days was damn fun la... practically spent the days there stoning, crapping and drinking. A little recap:

Day 1 (Seniors Farewell)
0925h: Woken up by Wai Ling's SMS. "OMG i overslept."
0945h: Met Daphne at Heartland's Cold Storage and then, stoned there
1010h: Wai Ling finally arrives to meet us to shop *only about 45minutes late la*
1030h: Daddy fetched us down to Daphne's house to bake cake
1100h: The two girls baked the cake while I stoned in Daphne's house. hehex...
1315h: Went out for lunch then went back to Daphne's house to pack up
1330h: Left to fetch Xinyu, Xaiver and the food from Helmi's house
1430h: Stoned at Downtown East Chalet - Harry called said need someone about 18 to check in
1500h: Yipling's Dad helped us with the checking-in and so, we lugged everything into our small and cozy room
1600h: Played around with whip cream and chocolate sauce. *lalala....*
1630h: Sprayed Xinyu with snow spray and got whip cream all over my hair in return *nice fish - waste cream*
1730h: JC1s started coming and we started decorating the place. Remaining food arrived.
1800h: Harry started BBQ fire successfully while the rest prepared the place
1830h: Seniors arrived and BBQ began... Helmi arrived too and played around with us
1930h: Guru arrives and we carry on playing and eating
2000h: Miss Wong arrives and the fun begins!
2030h: Locked ourselves up in the room for Bitching Session. Hehex. *interesting topic... hehex.*
2100h: First round of alcohol arrives! *yeahx! my two bottles of E33!*
2130h: Beer arrievs! *Bottoms up!*
2200h: Some people start leavining... *so saddening*
2215h: Dedicated song to seniors... *I'll miss stAJeworks 2005!*
2230h: Back to Bitching Session!
2300h: Harry challenges Helmi to drinking competition and gets beer all over himself *screwed la Harry!*
2330h: Helmi and Wong start telling Ghost Stories. Wai Ling and Xinyu freaked. *boo!*

Day 2 (Drinking Session)
0000h: Guru leaves us...
0100h: Drank but more beer. Played Indian Poker while talking.
0200h: Talked about stAJe stuff... *interesting...*
0230h: Miss Wong leaves us...
0300h: Proceeded to Helmi's house to watch DVD. *the forboding dark path there...*
0315h: Watched Be Cool which was so not cool. Stoned with Wai Ling and didn't catch ball.
0330h: Helmi brings out damned Vodka! Freakin' strong! *2 sips and that was it...*
0345h: Started playing cards... Xinyu dozing off - Wai Ling and myself, severe stoning.
0430h: Tried to make sense of the last few minutes of the movie - only Justin engrossed.
0530h: Bid farewell to Helmi and proceeded back to Chalet.
0535h: Xinyu forgot to return Helmi's house key - went back with Yips and Shannie to return... *i forgot to knock and scared Helmi... hehex...*
0545h: Felt nutty le... Yips scared me... *what bicycle?*
0650h: Back at Chalet - took turns bathing... I bathed second and tried to sleep after that...
0720h: Hard time waking Xinyu up to bathe... *hahax*
0745h: Found myself being awaken by errrx, dunno who. *who woke me up ar?*
0755h: Left for Macs to eat breakfast. Harry getting hangover... *weak...*
0815h: Ate breakfast - damn hungry! Harry got seasick... *we weren't on a boat Maomao... hehex.*
0900h: Dragged ourselves back to Chalet. Played Majong with Shannie, Xinyu and Yips. Harry and Wai Ling slept...
1000h: Xinyu and Daphne played Go-fish... Shannon and myself slept for a while...
1030h: Everyone awake except Wai Ling. Watched the game of Go-fish and then, Harry joined in. The rest watched.
1130h: Started getting hungry again... Maggie Mee round one...
1230h: Compulsory rest time! *yawnx!*
- forgot what happened in between le... -
1430h: Almost everyone woke up le - stoned and played cards again... Maggie Mee round 2 - with 1 bottle of E33...
1530h: Justin comes back!
1630h: Yaya and Namz arrive...
1800h: Yaya leaves... stoning starts again... Chatted and fooled around a little while eating
1930h: Watch Rush Hour 2! *I love Jakie Chan!*
2000h: Helmi arrives with DVD Player! He BBQs for us...
2130h: Dinner!
2200h: Namz leaves us... I SMSed Miss Wong - ordering alcohol!
2300h: Wong Sheau Ying arrives with the hardcore ammulation! Bombay 47% gin with Tonic Water! Alongside with 6 bottles of E33s, 2 bottles of Bacardi and 2 cans of Irish Ale. The drinking begins!

Day 3
0000h Downed about 3 cups of Gin le - felt giddy but still drank.
0100h: Downed the 4th cup of Gin and started on the E33s...
0200h: Daphne, Xinyu and Shannon went into the room... I sat outside with helmi and wong - they fed me the beer and errrx, asked me about stAJe - talked about work! *omg!*
0215h: Xinyu joins me... *whew*
0225h: Daphne and Shannie joins us - we talk somemore while drinking!
0300h: Wai Ling caught sleeping in some damned orchistic position - amusing!
0330h: Started raining... went into the room and watched DVD - I was on Titanic le.. *oOo! The sea!*
0400h: I fell asleep leaning again Daphne...
0830h: woke up with Miss Wong's head in my face... hehex. Helmi and Xinyu were in some weird position. Hehex... Harry and Wai Ling were both sitting beside each other staring at the blank TV Screen.. *so sweet*
0900h: Woke Xinyu up again and packed.
0915h: Wong Sheau Ying woke up and left us... hahax. no more miss wong! Hahax.
0945h: Room cleared and we checked-out
1030h: Headache was damned bad... bus to Helmi's place din stop so we cabbed. Me, Justin and Helmi walked... rather, ran...
1045h: Watched DVD... Headache got worst...
1100h: Ate breakfast.. felt terrible
1130h: Watched X-men...
1200h: Packed up and left Helmi's place
1230h: Cabbed back with Wai Ling, Xinyu and Daphne...
1330h: Home sweet home! Mummy prepared a nice lunch for me... then tried to blog - ended up sleeping...
2000h: Woke up feeling much better... ate a terrible dinner... grandma cant cook for nuts!
2030h: Didn't eat much for dinner and then went to blog...

Well.. that's the chalet. Hahax. It was fun la... I'll miss it! Miss Xinyu, Daphne, Shannon, Helmi, Wai Ling, Harry and Sheau le! Hahax. Oh well... I vaguely rmb wad sheau said about stAJe - it's time to work Kai! But first, damn hell study for your common test. "We produce scholars!" Quoted from Sheau and Helmi. Hahax. Here we go!

Wai Ling

2005-06-16T23:14:00.000+08:00

Slept at 0500h this morning cause was doing literature essay and guess what, I was woken up by the damned crows that were mating outside my window at 1030h! 5.5hrs of sleep during the holidays! Hahax. So irritating but well, just got up and ate waffles for breakfast (again) then went to bathe and wash up. Changed and left the house at 1130h to go meet Wai Ling. Think this week mating season or something la - at the bus stop, crows were mating again. Noisy birds! Then I sat at the damned bus stop for a whole 30minutes and watched four 53 buses pass on the other side of the road before my bus finally came. Female driver drove the bus like a damned holiday cruiser lorx. SLOW! And so I was 20 minutes late for meeting the "mad bitch who was running around the house". Hehex. Amusing la here messages.

Took 133 with Wai Ling to Sim Lim Square. She was complaining about me being late and how she didnt wash her hands before putting on contacts, how she stuffed everything in her bag... blah blah blah... hahax. My fault la kx? Sorry... Her Jellyfish bite looked worst than before somemore.. poor girl... hahax.

We mericuliously found Sim Lim without much problem. Thank you Wai Ling. Hahax. Then yea, spent $28 (after my bargaining) on buying the CDs and their holder. Then wanted to go Concourse buy party stuff after that so went to MRT station to ask for directions. The person talked so much cock la... Wai Ling was like stuffing all the contents into her brain while I went huh? She obviously couldnt rmb all the nonsense the person said la so errrx, we got lost for a while then I noticed the obvious... We could see the damned building from where we were standing? Blahx. So yea, lead the way and walked towards the place lorx. Was trying to call Chinthin in Malaysia on the way but in vain. Asked Xinyu help me call and guess what, she was damn hell still sleeping! Irritating.

At Concourse, shopped for the party stuff while enduring Wai Ling's pleas to go eat. Hehex. Spent about $14 on the things then went BK to satisfy Waii's needs. Hahax. Crapped over lunch and then, decided to head towards AJC to hand up my lit. We anyhow walked la - cause din know the way. Walked to three different bus stops.. den decided to go Geylang first. Hahax. Sell Wai Ling for $300! Hahax. Called Daphne to crap on the bus.... hehex. We were bitching like mad la! Hahax. *details censored* When we reached Geylang, Harry called. When told him our location, he ended up scolding me. Wahx. Hahax. Protective sia. Oh wellx... so rushed back via MRT to AJ lorx... The MRT trip was damn amusing la. *wadever happened at Geylang, it's between the both of us oki? hahax.* Super fun! Hahax.

Got to AJ and yea, met Harry and the rest. Sat around and stoned a while before proceeding to the big macs at J8. Wai Ling was kinda stoney le... scary la she. Extremes sia. Hahax. Waited for Jeremy until I got kinda fed up - I'm impatient. Hahax. When he finally came, gave him the CDs then took 53 back home with Wai and Xaiver.

Hmmmx... I played with the piano at home again. And I SANG! Hahax. I sound so damn much better than before! Yes! I shall practice more! Hahax.

Well, it's been a nice and nonsense day all thanks to Wai Ling.. hahax! Wai Ling, you're mine again on Saturday morning ar. Hahax. Private business to settle! Hahax. From today onwards, Wai Ling shall be my crapping mate. Hahax. =) I feel so crap now but whatever - that's the way I should be! Hahax.

Human Nature

2005-06-12T21:18:00.000+08:00

"Human nature is the same everywhere." It's virulence, baseness and iniquity invariably present however, remains intellegently concealed. Human nature is profound. Then again, "what is only complex is mistaken (not an unusual error) for what is profound." Complexity can be torn apart and eventually, fathomed. Contemplate the Brobdingnagianeous power one would possess if this jigsaw puzzle of the huamn mind is pieced together. An intriguing thought indeed.

Watched Unleased this afternoon. Didn't really like it - lacked energy. However, there was a little insunation on human development: in every life, a leash/collar is present. This leash/collar restrains us however, when it is broken, we are able to soar and achieve the impossible. Yet, the drawback is that we for so long, have been pampered by our masters that we know not of what reality really is. "Life is a stage and we are its players" and if I may add on, with no end in mind. That bond that holds us back within comfort zone - is it really a bane or a boon? As we grow, we slowly slip away from the chain that binds us. Some rejoice but personally, I'm pusillanimous over it. We know not of what unknown territory we're sauntering into - no end in mind! So, should I venture forth and strive to achieve greatness or remain in this turtle shell of mine and forever be contented with life?

Met Hulin and Xiu Fang before the movie to discuss project work. Read up considerably on the way a child's mind functions. What is this? Character analysis? It's just so thespian! Planet Earth might as well be a name for some famous theatre in this universe! And we, we actors, would be " the most depraved of men" without any doubt. "The Curse has come upon (us)"!

I need a little consolation here. Here I find myself, totally disorentated - I've changed. Find myself reverting to the old-natured self... the loquacious person within dying; the introvert emerging. "The mirror crack'd from side to side..." I like that poem a lot. Impressed a lot upon me. Jane Marple is interesting and I do admire her. Human nature - to me, it encompasses everything. If there were only transparency of the minds! Haix. If only I knew...

Linguistic Disarray

2005-06-11T00:04:00.000+08:00

Here I find myself, deep in rumination, meditating upon the paltry matters of life - still so blase and insouciant? To relinquish that modicum of hope is somewhat tantalizing however, relish would be interim. Everything remains so nebulous. The perplexities of these issues only serve to further disorientate the already garbled psyche. Now what stands is a spurned and jilted lone-figure. Enlighten me comrades: what trajectory should I set myself to embark upon?

The mind is a heterogeneous thing. Pearlyn's query on it proved to be relatively though-provoking. We never do know what one may be conjuring up there. It is only human to contemplate amd complicate matters however, when it boils down to that of the heart, a whole new story unfolds.
"Love is a choice (we) make from moment to moment"
But yet, it is only human to err. It is our nature.
"Why love if losing hurts so much?"
That, I do not know. The best mitigation I could fabricate would be that we, as moronic as it may seem, just "love to know that we are not alone". A labyrinthine controversy indeed.

We live in a world of hypocrisy. Patently recall Mr. Clement Cheng's emphasis on punctuality throughout the AB Camp yet, he was one and a half hours late today. Ironic ain't it? Can you not practice what you preach? Or perhaps is it just another on of those "husbands are always up to no good" thing? Human nature and it's diversities is just so hard to grasp.

Well, Dorothy Thompson once did say: "only when we are no longer afraid do we begin to live". We tend to be guiled into believing that life is a bed of roses. Such bosh! Fear often governs our lives and it is because of fear that we achieve greatness. Yet, human nature ties us down. "Comfort is what we humans (tend to) gravitate to... even if it means pain." We refuse to face our fears and thus, never get to the core of living. Where then is victory is life? No pain, no gain.

Watched an extremely depressing soccer game today. It may have been a tough fight but half-way through, they gave up on themselves. Confidience level dwindled and the common goal was lost - the battle wasn't lost on the field... it was lost in the mind. We could have done better. Shall seize to elaborate. *upset*

Have not been in the right frame of mind for the whole day and I still am at sea; demented and befuddled. Couldn't human nature just be transparent so that we could see right through it? It would save us all much anguish. What exactly is up there in your mind? I can't tell but I really want to know.
"The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity."
No cure except the answer to it. Why don't you just tell me what you're thinking - directly? A single afflicted wound would definately be far better off than a slow and painful wait for death. Is it possible and worth the wait?

Nice?

2005-06-10T00:30:00.000+08:00

I need time to catch up on my studies - I'm really lacking behind le. Okie... I shall not come out with my list of excuses this time round... then again, I could - but it would only serve to further delude myself. Fine. Studies wise, I've been slacking and that's final. Time to mug!

stAJeworks is tiring. Getting quite sick of doing things le... especially admin. Guess Chinthin's right la... I gotta learn to stop doing things and start slacking. But I don't like shoving responsibilities about lei - and neither do I like bossing people about... all the "you do this and you do that" nonsense is not my type la. Haiya... time to really allocate manpower properly le. Shall put other stuff aside le - when it's stAJeworks, it's stAJeworks. Work is work - it's time not to be overly nice. Hmmmx.. sounds like what Daphne said to me earlier today with regards to other matters. Hahax. Heck la... it applies to me and the CCA too. Doesn't it ever pay to be nice? Nahx. It's planet Earth la.

Hmmmx... spent my morning stoning.. something wailing does really well. Must have learnt it from her. Starved cause didn't have anything to eat for breakfast - someone cleared my freezeer yesterday la... *ahem* Then mummy din want to cook cause she not supposed to eat. Wonderful. So I just starved and stoned. Forced myself to read Marple... managed to get past chapter 2 before falling asleep. Hehex. Woke up at about 3pm. Mummy fed me ONE cheese hot dog and then, left for the hospital.

Hospital - mummy went in to do her tests and I sat outside in the waiting room. Specialists are slow. I finished 10 chapters of Marple while waiting lorx. The book finally got interesting... oki, a little more interesting. Hahax. When mummy finally came out, the family broke fast and went for steamboat at east coast park. Damn cheap and damn good! Yummie! We all ate so much lorx... hehex. The restraunt gonna make a loss le.

Went to Giant after that to shop. Harry called to say his mum sponsoring the chalet! Yeahx. But it meant more work for me la. Haiya... and yes, I made the calls using handphone - and chinthin called from malaysia - more money donated to M1 and starhub. *whine* and mummy was so "helpful" throughout... kept asking me try clothes and stop playing handphone. Play what you tell me? Blahx. There's nothing nice on my phone to play! Grrrx...

Blahx. Oki. I'm getting grumpy le. Too much rest i suppose. I'm starting to sound like Jane Marple.. better watch it. Hahax. Shall end off here then... later gotta wake up early go sch - and must remember not to be too nice to stAJe le... hahax. It's working time! Lalalala...

AB Camp - Draw Back

2005-06-09T01:07:00.000+08:00

0630h: Woke up for no particular reason. Decided to go back to sleep. Attempt successful.
0725h: Woke up again. Messaged Xinyu for fun then went back to sleep. Attempt successful.
0745h: Woken up by Xinyu's message. Replied and began rolling on the bed and coughing my lungs out.
0750h: Decided to get of bed and pull myself to the computer. Attempt successful.
0800h: Handphone rang - xinyu whining...
0815h: Called to make sure xinyu left house... affirmative.
0820h: Did Mathematics TYS... *headache*
0900h: Bathed
0915h: Left house and went to Paya Lebar CC to book badminton court and converted membership to Passion.
0930h: Went to apply for bus concession then took 112.
0955h: Messaged Daphne... going to be late... changed bus to 72
1020h: Reached Yio Chu Kang interchange. Daphne waiting. Walked to AJC with her.
1045h: Watched a very amusing soccer training session. *sniggers*
1100h: Shannon joined us
1125h: Daphne and Shannon abandoned me in AJC. *idiots*
1130h: Read Miss Marple all alone outside the MPH *damn painful*
1200h: Saw Pearlyn and had a long talk with her
1230h: Pearlyn left and I carried on with Jane Marple *the pain and agony carried on*
1250h: Soccer training finally ended. Left school with Xinyu. Took 853 and headed towards home.
1325h: Reached home and cooked lunch for myself and Xinyu. Emptied the freezer.
1335h: Ate lunch and did the dishes *now I know how daddy feels*
1355h: Xinyu went to bathe and Xinjie came. *finally!*
1415h: Shannon, Chinthin, Xaiver and Daphne came. Chinthin and Daphne tried to open Xinyu's toilet door.
1445h: stAJeworks members mostly present. Began meeting.
1500h: Chinthin can't pronunce words. She needs English tuition.
1555h: Meeting ended. Went to play badminton at Kovan CC.
1715h: Courts taken over. Sent Xinyu and Harry back home. *Proceeded to J8*

I shall save myself the trouble to elaborate on the idiots who kept changing plans. Bunch of insolent fools! Grrrx...

Anyway, vice-president post is really irking me. Starting to feel the stress le - and it's only a small project. Maybe I'm shouldering too much work. Oh well... shall go reflect and change if need be. But yea, AB Camp did teach me some stuff - common goal - something that is not present... and I really gotta becareful of my breaking point. Think I almost went into that bitch mode again. Sufficent rest and a calm environment is something I really need. Well, at least I controlled it well... walked off to my room to 'cool off' and yea, it worked. Hahax. Then just now spent like 3hrs calling the whole stAJeworks and talking to Chinthin on the phone. *ouch* It's the beginning of a long 1.5yrs but well, with God's help, what is impossible horx? Hahax....
*God... errrrx... help?*

AB Camp

2005-06-04T15:55:00.000+08:00

Finally, back from 5-days of camp in AJC! Argh. Painfully tiring camp la. Hahax. A little recap on what happened ba:

Day 1
Reached school at 0745h and then went to deposit stuff in my locker. Foolishly forgot to put my handphone inside so errrrx, when we falled in, had to surrender it. That was the start of 5-days without a phone. *ouch* Mmmm... yeahx. The camp started off with a very nice scolding and pumping session. Did at least 50 push-ups during that 30minutes period. Was joking away with Sarah throughout the 'torture' session though. Oppps... =) Got a lot of late comers so Instructor Ian was like: "You all are future leaders of AJC! We expect discipline in this camp.... blah blah blah..." Hahax. And while he scolded, we were in push-up position so errrx, painful!

After that went back to bunk to tidy up. At first, got 1133 as our bunk but then, dunno why, suddenly had to change bunk with the girls so ended up with 1123 as our bunk. So yea, the girls tidied up the guys bunk and we tidied up theirs. Ironically, their bunks were ditier than ours. Hahax. 1123 got screwed for cleaniness as a result. Did another 20+ push-ups as punishment. =(

Gathered at AJ Square for briefing on College Activities. Hahax. Mission 1 as group Commanche began. Did Trust Fall and many other weird games. Commanche was super fun la - we crapped a lot throughout the games sessions and did relatively well. Reflection session after each station was relatively irritating but well, got learning points la. Got pumped like mad for some stations cause we were slow.... hahax. "Future leaders? Where's your urgency!" Hahax.

Had lunch after the games and errrx, we were all sticky and smelly le. Food was terrible. So much rice, so little ingredients. Sarah gave me her left over rice which resulted in me being bloated at the end of the meal. Hehex. We had to finish all our food lorx. No left overs. Hahax.

Had a reflection session and some boring speeches in LT5 after stuffing down lunch and then, Mission 2. Mission 2 didn't really go well for Commanche. We got rather demoralized after failing many of the stations. I got rather fustrauted la. Oppps... =) Well, thankfully had dinner after that la... so got a bit of buffer.

Mission 3 followed and errrx, Commanche continued our loosing streak. We were up against stronger groups like Chinnok and yea, got trashed. Gotta admit that I was damned pissed la - cause I think the whole group was trying our best but had a lot of careless mistakes. Hehex. The loosing streak snowballed and errrx, resulted in us having to do hardcore labour after supper. We got punped a lot along the way too not to mention. Hahax. Our penalty for loosing. I was kinda attitude while doing the penalties la... hahax... shouted the timings for push-ups so damn loudly. Hahax. Then move tables that time, hardcore carry one table by myself. Dumb me la but I wasn't thinking straight. Hahax. Had reflection session after that and errrx, realised my mistake la - cannot let emotions get the better of me. Learning point number one. Hahax.

Finally got to bathe after that. *Shiok!* Hahax. Then had bunk inspection. Damn amusing. Instructor Bryan can't count. "I give you 10 counts to get it done! 10, 7, 8, 6, 4, 5, 3, 1, 0!!!" Hahax. Then yea, did at least another 20 push-ups before turning in. I slept within 5minutes after I closed my eyes. Yen Hao slept beside me... hahax. Woke up several times at night to see his smiling face. Hahax. Scary. =)

Day 2
Woke up at 0530h for PT. Did stretches and then, hardcore fun began. Hahax. I was tired and half-awake so torture was quite errrx, numb. The whole AB Camp got pumped at least 50 for being slow. Hehex. Then did another 30 push-ups (including restarts) and 40 sit-ups for fun... Hahax. Ran 4 rounds and did 10 counts of jumping jacks. Ended of with burpies. Hahax. Forgot how many liao but was dripping wet after the whole session. Breakfast awaited us. Hehex. Miserable biscuits. Commanche bonded further during breakfast and created our cheer.

0800h, rushed upstairs to bunk to pack up for Sentosa trip. The weather was starting to get real hot... packing list as follows:
1. 2 1.5L Bottles, fully filled to the brim. (heavy!!!)
2. Poncho
3. Torchlight
4. AJ Tie
5. Spare Orentation T-shirt
6. Whistle
Hahax. All the weird items la. Then falled in at the AJ-square. Owed instructor Daniel 20 push-ups for being late. Had to rush off to the bus at 0900h after a short briefing and scolding session by the Instructors. I sat beside Celine in the bus and discussed further about the cheers until we both fell asleep. Hahax.

Woke up when we reached Sentosa.. the sun was terrible. Torture began. Hahax. Had to rush to forget what bridge in 30minutes from our drop-off point. Commanche planned and then, chiong le. Hahax. Tiring. We reached within the given time all sweaty and soaked. Games started after that. Commanche rocked! Won 4 out of 5 very challenging and demanding stations. Our only lost was to Chinnok but overall, they lost 2 games so we won them in the end. We got the honour to choose our lunch as a reward. Picked economic rice... hahax. The chilli really helped us all to get it down. =) Hahax. We had 4 penalty 1.5L bottles to carry within the group as a punishment for loosing 1 game. Pity the groups who lost all 5 games. Hahax. 20 bottles. Hahax.

After lunch was the harcore challenge. 4.5 hours around Sentosa with the temperature at 34 degrees. Hahax. Amazing race. We were all damn tired le but still persisted. Walked real quickly to get to the first station. Supposed to build a 1.5 metre tall sandcastle. Hahax. Had 15 minutes to do it. We failed our first attempt and had to try again. Several of our members had to be blind folded or had their hands tied to their backs. Instructor Ian picked the ppl so errrx, we suffered. Took 1 hour to clear the station. Torturous cause of the scorching sun.

Oh yeah! Forgot to mention that all the hints to the locations were in foreign languages so had to ask around to decifer. French, indian... haiyo.. almost every language also got de. Hahax. Team moral was low after the game but well, it built up along the way to the second station. Thankfully, we cleaered the second station effortlessly and then, took a super long walk to the third station. We had a lot of problems decifering the clue la... hahax. Even those who spoke French didn't understand. Hahax.

In the end, completed 4.5 stations then returned to Ferry terminal for dinner. Hahax. We were quite happy cause finally could rest. Gobbled down dinner in a flash. Me and the other guys ate an extra full packet of vegetables. Hahax. =) we were hungry la. Then had debriefing after that. Was getting quite late le so yea, quite slack.

Buses finally came and when we boarded, we were told to blindfold ourselves. Hahax. Sarah, Hui Ping, Celine and myself were all predicting what was going to happen. Hahax. We decided to sleep in the end... hahax.
Woke up in an unknown location... scary. Then we alighted the bus with our Instructors guidance. Sat down as a whole camp at some unknown location and then, Instructor Daniel breifed us: "Now, you all are somewhere outside AJC. You all will be doing individual reflections... you have to write a 500 word essay for me. Your instructors will direct you to your lonely spots in a while... if you see anything weird or are afraid, blow your whistle and we'll attend to you..." Hahax. Scary right? But well, some of us were like touching the ground, hearing echoes and all... most guessed we were in AJC le... and we were right la... hahax. Confirmed it when we heard the MRT train going by on the way up to the classrooms. So yea, we were locked in the classrooms for a solid 1.5hrs to do reflection... hahax. Had no sense of time and only paper and pen to work with... oh yea, and the torch and whistle. Hahax. So yea, I just wrote lorx. =)

Assembled in thereafter and had supper. Bathed in 2minutes after that and got ready for bunk inspection. Hahax. Instructor Bryan caught a guy running topless on our level and was like: "Eh hero! What are you doing in my bunk?!" Hahax. 1123 was labled the "Model Bunk" after the inspection. Hahax. Wonder why... lalala.... All the guys got pumped 30 though cause the other bunks all not up to standard... Instructor Bryan was like going: "You all are 17! 17 years old! My 13 year old juniors and clean bunks better than all of you!" Before lights out, we had another scolding by Bryan: "You need me to tuck you in and kiss you goodnight on the forhead is it?" Hahax. oh well... as usual, slept damn quickly after the lights went out. Woke up once or twice centimetres away from Yen Hao's face in the night. Grrrx.. hahax.

Day 3
Woke up missing my phone like crazy. Hahax. 0530h, washed up and by 0600h, was on the track for PT. It was the same thing... 50 push-ups in total for fun.. sit-ups, run, jumping jacks... lalala.. and so on. All the guys had to do extra 10 push-ups cause of the heros who left their stuff in the toilets. Hahax. That's life! Hahax. Breakfast followed - kaya bread. Hahax. Yummie. And diluted milo.. yuckie. Hahax....

Had Mission 4 after that. Commanche got screwed again. Lost like mad but thankfully, this time to penalty. Quarrels within the group occured.... Hahax. Oppps... thankfully, they were resolved after the completion of the final task... egg bomb! Hahax. One of our eggs survived! Yeahx! hahax...

We did our Service Learning project after the games. Our first proposal had to be scrapped completely cause of the sudden change in venue. Hahax. Instructor Jia Yi made Commanche her favourite group after the planning cause we came out with a new plan and proposal within an hour. Efficient right? Hahax. Last minute planning is our forte. Hahax. Planned until the sky turned dark. Hahax. Then we tried out our plan with the whole camp. Hahax. Was the station master so just did a lot of talking before moving on to try out other stations. Saw the Delta Campers along to way. Slackers! Hahax. Their camp so relaxed de. =( Mmmmx.. when trying out other ppl's stations, I acted as an AWWA kid. Hahax. Amusing la. Hehex.

Yuppie. Then we gathered back at Reading Room for training on wheelchair usage before going to bathe and lights out. Bunk inspection was easy for 1123 since Instructor Bryan loves us le. Hahax. =) Then yea, lights out and we were all dead...

Day 4
0630h... rise and shine for PT... did a light one today cause had a long day of entertaining AWWA clients after that. Delta Campers' PT still more slack that ours lorx. Did about 20 push-ups and the usual nonsense then went for breakfast. I left with the other station masters at 0800h to set up stations outisde school. There, we waited and chatted until the first group came. Hahax. Taught them how to play then yea, it started. Everything went smoothly. Hahax. Yeahx! Commanche popped by our station and errrx, I gave chance la. Hehex. =)

Got back to school at about 1230h and den, ate lunch. Was quite oki la... ate extra chicken... hehex. Chatted with our client then we sent him off... oh yeahx! We won Urban Adventure first place! Yeahx! Good job Commanche and friends! Hahax... =)

Had debrief after that then the day picked up pace again. Went back to strict strict games again. Cleared our debts with the Instructors too... 50 over push-ups... hehex. Then went to watch movie... they selected specific scenes of K-19 let us watch.. all got learning points and all. Hahax. Wadeva... then after that, went to play netball... hahax. We lost one game cause we talked when we not supposed to... silent game la. Hahax. Oh well.. we won the next two and lost the last so got eliminated. We did well though. Hahax.

Then had a long break to prepare for Land EX... hahax.. I didn't shower cause anyway, later will sweat again wad... dun think Commanche did shower anyway. Hahax. Then yea, supper and breifing for the Land EX... we were told to sleep to 0400h but well, a lot of us smelt a rat... where got let us sleep 6hrs de? Hahax... but well, trusted the instructors and slept at 1000h after packing bags for the trip. Heavy bag as usual. =)

Day 5
2255h of day 4, 1123 was woken up by Instructor Bryan and instructed to wake eveyone up and gather at MPH in 4minutes. Rush! Hahax. I thought my watch was spoilt for a moment cause it read 2255h la... hahax. oppps. The guys all woke up and gathered by 2300h... the girls left 4 of their bunk mates behind.. din wake them up.. so got scolded again lorx. Hahax. Then briefing... it began...

Long walk with Commanche. Took the front guard with Kah Mun and Yu Chuan. Kah Mun incharge of directing... Sarah held mosquito coil and safety IC... The other guys except me carried the extra bottles... then we set off after planning route to yio cho kang. Hahax. Chatted along the way. Moved at a slow pace at first den sped up. I fed Kah Mun water and biscuits throughout. Hahax. Had road block at yio cho kang road.. had to go into landed property to identify some street names. Hahax. Did very well! Yeahx! Then yea, went on to PLMC! Hahax. Took break there after overtaking a group who left 20minutes b4 us. Hehex. Set off after 10minutes of toilet break there to Lorong Ah Soo and then, defu lane. Overtaked abother 2 more groups of which, one set off 40minutes b4 us. Pro horx? hahax. So yea, we carried on the LONG walk. Norma's feet were aching so we slowed down a little for her. I was quite happy cause mine were aching too. and my legs were starting to hurt again. Injury from the previous day la. Hahax.

0400h, we made it to the end of defu and planned our next route to bedok le. Did it very quickly and then, off we went. Overtook another group who left before us on the way then raced with Apache to the end... we beat them so, in all, overtook 5grps. Hahax. We reached at a record time of 0538h... yeahx! last team to leave, 3rd to arrive! We did well! Yeahx. Then Yen Hao, myself and Kah Mun lied on the grass beside each other and fell asleep. Hahax. We were so tired! Hahax. Slept till 0645h den were woken up to complete the final game. Hahax. I took time cause I couldnt run le... leg injuried. Commanche did well again and got 4th... hahax... with 0 penalties which all the other grps had. Yeahx! We did it!

Ran to meeting point for breakfast after that. I foolish ran too and pulled both my leg muscles... couldnt walk after I reached destination. hahax. Oh wellx.. wadeva. Had a nice nice breakfast there. Roti Prata and Nasi Lemak with sweet drinks! Yeahx! Hahax.... Chatted and then, it was time to go. Boarded the bus and slept through. Hahax.

When we reached school, we were debriefed and had a long reflection session thereafter, had 4hrs of freetime. I took a long cold bath and then, went to bunk to sleep. Woke up at 1230h to go eat. Hahax. Chatted with the grp and then wrote some encouragement cards... 1400h, gathered at Reading Room for final debrief and summary of camp. Hehex. Lasted for 2hrs then, proceeded to canteen for graduation ceremony. Hahax. Did a lot of things and had nice food to eat at last. Lasted till 1700h then we cleaned up.

Gathered at the AJ Square at 1730h all ready to leave... final address by instructors... finally, we were addressed as leaders of AJC. Hahax. Yuppie! Got back our belongings (ie. handphone!!!!!!!!!) and then, off we went! Yea! I had 38 unread messages and 14 missed calls. Hahax. Lalala... I missed my phone. Celine's parents fetched me home... thank you Celine! Hahax. Then took a long hot bath at home, went online clear email... drop dead! Hahax. Oh yea.. smsed ppl too horx. Hahax. Rmbed to suan Sarah who was still at band camp. Hahax. Poor girl. =) Yup!

Present
Yuppie! That's the AB Camp! It was tiring but well, fun la. =) Thanks Commanche! We'll stay in contact yea? Hahax. =) Toodles!

2005-05-26T23:30:00.000+08:00

*Listening to Pastor Benny Ho's 10 Keys To Picking A Life Partner (Disc 2) now*

I'm listening to what I missed two weeks ago for cell-leader cell... Uncle Allan lent me the CDs. Quite interesting - he's talking about broken relationships now... first CD what we should look out for in our partner. Now disc 2, errrx, first 10minutes was all about sex. Sex is God-given oki? It's not something sick. Blahx. Mmmmx... Quoting a little from Benny Ho:

"Guys are turned on by what they see; girls are turned on by what they feel. But both are turned on by touch." Really mehx? Hahax...
"Our values are not within us - our values are in Christ." Yeahx. Agreed.
"Guys are lightbulbs. Girls are like irons." Oh no... I so don't agree with this - I think I'm more like an iron. Hahax. Me not lightbulb - I'm slow la. Lalala...
"Rules of marriage are not to be applied to courtship or engagement." Break up before marriage is oki? Errrx... I don't like break-ups. Haix.
"Soul ties are very important." I agree with this part. Indeed, after marriage, the whole chain is being pulled along.
"Be man enough to practice love. Do not fall to peer pressure." Hahax. Very interesting and yea, agreed! I shall try to apply this point. =)
"We need interdependance in life." I definatly won't last long alone. I need support. Hahax.
"Emotional dependancy is the sea-bed of homosexuality." This is a very sensitive point but well, it is true la.

Hmmmx... I think what I just heard is extremely interesting and applicable. I'm still a little confused though - what does God want of me? Hahax. I'm kinda reaching that point of nonchalance but well, I know I'll not. Cause yea, there is the past, that locked room, that room of files... that I don't wanna see again.. that I may not want others to see... but well.. there Jesus came, took the files and covered my name with blood. He placed His Hand on my shoulder and said: "It is finished."

**************************

Lord, come before You this day - won't You Lord, take a look at our hands... everything we have, use it for Your plans.. won't You Lord, take a look at our hearts.. mould it, refine it, as You set us apart.. Mmmmx... Give us the heart of compassion... and let us make a difference, bringing hope to our land... Yeahx.. This is my prayer to You... Think it encaps everything. Thank You that because of Your grace, even though we are undeserving, has covered us. We wanna give You the glory and the praise... Not by might, not by power, but by the Spirit of God... =) In Jesus name.. AMEN!

stAJeworks

2005-05-21T23:59:00.000+08:00

stAJeworks - where I am and where I'll belong - I've decided. Though some matters are not yet fully resolved, guess it goes on la. stAJeworks is really too fun and memorable to leave so yea, I'm staying and giving my all.

Yesterday wasn't that nice a day to begin of with. I woke up only to realise that I haven't printed my PI which was like dued on the day itself. Found myself scuffling about to get it printed lorx. Best thing was mummy had to turn off my computer when I slept and it had problems starting up again. Spent 5minutes fiddling with the wires then got it working. Wanted to use Yang's printer to print cause my printer sure jam de but well, it jammed! First time since it was bought, it jammed. Hahax. Was totally frantic then lorx. The best part was I ran out of white paper. Daddy didn't bring back. Dead. Hahax. However, thank God la, went onto MSN and Daphne suddenly said 'hi' to me. Yuppie! Sent my PI to her to print in the end. Really thank God for her. Hahax. Owe you one k Daphne!

Mmmmx... after that was moody cause I HATE rushing in the morning. Went to school sleepy and slept lorx. First period was econs lecture and I struggled to stay awake. Haix. I'm so screwed for econs... lesson ended and I stormed out of the lecture hall to go get some sleep but realised that I was thristy. Hahax. Irritating me... so walked to canteen to get a drink. On my way there, Miss Wong saw me and errrx, shouted to me.. asked me go over and walk with her... in my mind, I was like: errrx... I'll hand in my lit essay later! please let me sleep now!
Yeahx. Oh wellx.. but she's the teacher so I dragged myself upstairs to meet her. Then the interesting conversation began.. I'll try to recall it... it went something like that:
Ms Wong: Have the semiors told you?
Me: Huh? What?
Ms Wong: Oh... about the ex-co for stAJeworks.
Me: Errrx... no?
Ms Wong: Okiex. Chinthin is the president... Fish is your secretary and Akshaya is your treasurer...
Me: Orh.. oki lo.
Ms Wong: You know what that means or not?
Me: Huh?
Ms Wong: Means your the vice-president...
Me: Orh... oki lo.
Ms Wong: Eh... you not happy ar?
Me: Orh... oh! Happy happy...
I was sleepy la... Oppps.... oh wellx... quite a suprise for me la - wonder why they elected a playful dodo like me. Hehex. I'll be hardworking from now on lorx.. anyway, got chinthin breathing down my neck so cant slack. She very fierce! Grrrx... sure quarrel with her de. Hahax.

Hmmmmx... yea... then on the day itself right, straight away got work to do le. Had to go round school pulling down Mother Courage posters. Mmmmx... I did block 11 alone. Then fish came to help me with the rest. Nice secretary. Hahax. Fish, mommy, xaiver, shannon and justin went to play pool after that. Left me behind with Gerry Kang and Daphne Yeo cause we all had to go for the Alpha-Bravo camp briefing. Waste time la. I waited for Chinthin then yea, went together lorx. We were late and we were scolded. Hahax. Failed our first test of puntuality le. Yeahx! Hahax. Screwed. The briefing was rubbish anyway. Next wed we gotta sit for some damned exam - and the camp is a practical exam. Haix. Wadeva - it's AJC la.. everything also need to test de. Only me and Chinthin going lorx.. ah ah! 5 days somemore! *whine* I'll miss my pillow and the rest of stAJeworks. Hahax.

Anyway.. Chinthin and myself went to join the rest to play pool after that. Haiya... I'm never going to K-pool to play again la... the ppl there so strict... wear AJ pants also cannot. Had to go buy pants with shannon lorx. Hahax. Then played 3 games then got chased out cause xaiver and justin wearing AJC pants too... sianx... went macs to eat and chit chat after that lorx... talked rubbish which xaiver, shannon and justin gayed around. Hehex...

7pm, Daphne mummy and xinyu had to leave... left with them lorx. The guys were disturbing la... hehex... sent fish to her house bus stop den took 70 home... watched soccer on the bus... damn funny la! Paya Lebar missed two open goal shots la.. both clear over the post... hahax.. comedy. The whole bus was laughing lorx. Hahax.

Got home eventually and then errrx, wad did I do ar? Dont remember.. chat a while then I think went to sleep le. Oh yea! Did my second task as vice president... planning something special for Friday... hehex... President in malaysia la.. chinthin ar! You owe me! Grrrx... hahax... First day in office, work work le. Haiyo...

Anyway... today quite stoned la. Morning woke up then chat with fish a while before parents asked me go out makan. Went to errrx, dunno wad christian hotel to makan buffet lunch. Quite expensive de... got oysters, prawns, tampura (japanese prawns la.. i cant spell kx?), ox tail meat, pasta, lagsania, sharks fin and a lot other crap. Hehex. Food was quite oki but i was full in no time... hehex. Went to the christian bookshop there since din wanna sit at the table and stone - ended up chatting with Aunty Angie there... nice lady. Hehex. Made friends and errx, bought a CD from her. I like the CD... instrumental de... can put me to sleep and also errrx, it makes a nice test piece for PL Ensemble recruitment. Hahax. Well, I'll consider cause I dont think it's that easy - I wanna kill then use it. Hahax.

Got home after that and chatted again. Watched san guo yuan yi too... hahax.. quite interesting. Zhu ge liang and cao cao... fighting war... so cute. Hehex.

Soon it was off to church. parents came along today cause yang performing... doing back-ups rather... I got a last minute call asking me do Holy Communion so just wore formal formal there lorx.. had a wear a TIE! Yucks! Hahax.... I was blur during communon la.. made 3 trips back and forth cause kept running out of the elements. I had to take the row with so many ppl! Grrrrx... hahax. Sermon quite alright today - but a bit harsh... tmr shall talk about it during cell lorx... I'm gonna do my maths first den sleep.. tmr I'll finish all my work and study too.. ah ah.. rush! I'll rest too? Blahx.. hahax...

************************

Dear God, thanks for seeing me through the last few days. Each time I prayed, You listened and yea, made things better - especially Friday. Really thank You for being there. Mmmmx... things picking up in school le - just pray that can keep up and errrx, help me to remember to control myself a little. Dont wanna be that old Chan Jun Kai le... yuppie. Also wanna pray for Donkey 2005 - the kids like kinda distant from You le. I just pray that You'll help myself and Zhengxian, as their cell leaders, to be there for them. Know I've been quite bad to some of them cause been busy... seek your forgiveness and further strengthening. It's a long way to go... hmmmx... pray for my friends in AJC too... some of them need You in their lives.. just pray that You'll look into their hearts and change them. Use me too if needed... You know them best so yea... just work ba... Yuppie. Tat's about all... commit my family and my own life into Your hands... pray all these in Jesus name - AMEN!

Vexed

2005-05-18T04:48:00.000+08:00

Production was a success. I was happy, sad, angry and dissapointed all in one day but well, it was a success.

Anyway, I'm feeling very moody now. Shall not elaborate. I'm not going to sleep tonight unless I complete this song. I'm changing its title to "Shattered Dreams" and yea, I'm rewriting the harmony parts to make it more melencholic. Argh. Why was I so stupid to even start with? Haix. What's done is done... no idea how I'm ever gonna get over it but well, I'll have to. Got that thought at the back of my mind to afield myself from stAJeworks however, know I cant bring myself to do so. Maybe I'll go join track and field again. I dunno. Be reserve lorx. Then juggle two CCAs at one go? Haix. I dunno. Don't wanna go but still, wanna go. What nonsense. Hate myself sometimes. And yes, I'm in one of my foul moods again. Highly irritatable and hot tempered self will emerge. Haix. Shall vent it out during PE tmr. But I'm still gonna be very vexed after that... or if things go the wrong way, even more fustruated. I'm a ticking time bomb await to blow la. Just leave me alone please.

Aiya... what's with me. I got myself into this situation and I shall get myself out. The song doesnt seem to flow. So constipated. Still, I'm staying awake to complete it. If it doesnt go, I'm making it dark and morbid le. Ahhh! I want the grand piano to bang on now!! It's too late, rather, early to do so though. Gosh. This song shall be completed before I step out of the house! 7hrs should be sufficient. I'm gonna be a bloody spoilt brat later - expect me to be grumbling like mad. It has always been this way! What does life want out of me? Everything? You want everything, I give you everything lorx.

I failed econs. 6/35... horrible marks.. i know. Topped the class from the bottom. Not much consolations from Harry, Xaiver and Shannon though. Pissed me off in school yesterday. Blahx. Yes, I'm a failure... so?! At least I passed my maths and literature! Damn you people lorx. Haix. I'm gonna screw my chinese - I cant speak the wretched language. GP, hopefully can do well. Things aren't looking bright for me in JC. It's a long way to go. A tough path. God, where in the world are You when I need You? Haix.

3 more days...

2005-05-10T23:00:00.000+08:00

3 more days to production. Getting more and more nervous lei. Hahax. Vaguely remember joining stAJeworks slightly more than a month ago. Joined to slack but well, things turned out different la.

The auditions were extremely fun. Still remember that it was Eugene who called me to inform of the auditions and I was like: "Oh no... can I act?" Hahax. Then yea... tried out the commander's role and made a total fool out of myself. Also remember seeing the girls audition for their various roles too - I still love xinjie's style of the cook. Hehex. Then later got my 1st soldier role. Horny and bastardy character that I kinda liked. Gotta admit la - he's a funny character to be - minus the horny part. Hahax.

Yeahx. Then Helmi too. Remembered how he taught me to errrx, attack Amanda. Scolded me several times too cause was excessively playful before rehearsals. Wasting unnessary energy la. Hahax. Oh yea! Then got the METHOD. Wahx. Hardcore heavy bag on my back.. crawling and running under the hot sun. Sweating and suffering under the hands of our seniors, xaiver, shannon and justin. Oh the pain and agony... but sadistic fun in between. And the quite recent slapping session whereby I was kinda errrx, shocked? Hahax. Those were the times.

Mmmmx.. and the friendships forged. Xaiver and Shannon no problem la - classmates - so shall leave them out. Hmmm.... Got to know yilong, harry and jeremy first. My fellow soldiers. Suffered and went through a lot together. Thanks brothers! Then got justin too... the ass who tortured me. Hahax. But well, he's nice.
First female contact was errrx, daphne I guess. Cause yea... she din like me and I din like her. Hahax. Nonsense la. To a certain extent, must thank Eng Wai for clearing things up and making us talk la. Hahax. Now she's become my mummy. Hahax. Will miss her when she leaves for USA.
Gotta know xinjie a little after that. Nice girl - very adorable and amusing... and still is. Hahax. Then mmmx... ar! Xinyu! Did a warm-up session with her as some kung-fu master or wadeva. Hahax. Ended up bullying her. Then yea... became my resident slapper. Hahax. Trained to slap and slap to train. Hehex.
Not to forget.. the crew! Chinthin especially - who sought to cheer me up when I was kinda depressed. Hahax. And the JC2s who were very supportive throughout - georgia in particular. Hahax. The times we had together, i'll treasure. Hahax.

Oh wellx... it all boils down to the 13th and 14th of may. Tickets are still not sold out for the 14th may afternoon... haix.. gotta push! Mmmmx... really hope the performance is a success! Argh! Stressed. It's all in God's hands now la. Hehex. Oh wellx.. I better get to bed soon so tmr can have fully charged self. Hehex. Long day! Into theatre day one! Here it goes!

***************************

God, only three days more and yea, these next two days are gonna be really tiring ones. Pray that You'll just give me and the whole team strength to go through these few days and the production itself. Be there with us la. Mmmmx... and also wanna pray for further bonding between all of us - one CCA, one heart. Yea. Pray for Donkey 2005 too. Their exams all over le - help them to use their free time now to serve and honour You. Give them a heart of obedience and at the same time, boldness to stand up for You. Ask for wisdom for zhengxian and myself to continue to lead them. Guide them as well as us. Use us for Your greater plans. Yupx! Going to bed now - pray for a good night of sleep and energy tmr. All these I commit unto You.. AMEN!

Vexed

2005-05-07T01:00:00.000+08:00

Argh! I finally figured out why I've been feeling so damn irritated for the past few days. I had to on the radio and yea, had to hear that song. Reminded me of the past... something that I would rather just forget. It's been quite a long time since it happened but until now, that thread of hatred still exists within. The entanglement, scaret knot. Aiya... dun understand why some people just have to force themselves into liking the same gender. Don't ask me why - it has got something to do with my past. I'm irritated... just don't show it outright. Guess I've been so moody cause of all the bottling up. I shall cease to elaborate any further or too much information will be revealed.

stAJeworks today was tiring. I got slapped 4 times bu two different girls lorx. Haix. Stupid warm ups. And of all people, xinjie had to slap me. I was kinda pissed when she hit so hard. Never did I expect her to strike with such force. To a certain extent, I was hurt and yea, kinda pissed. I still am but again, not showing. More content to that bottle.

Was totally not satisfied with my scene. Just put it bluntly la - it sucks. I felt nothing - no intensity at all. I was in character la - I was just venting my fustraution. Screwed the whole scene as a result. I think Yi Long did quite well... and so did Harry. I destroyed the whole thing la. Jeremy din come. Haix. Why!?! Amanda was sick so yea, din really help much. Scene 8 was a total mess la. Upset about it... again, don't wanna show outright. So be it - more embellishments to the bottle.

Economics and mathematics test on monday. Scared. Don't show it again so yea, add to the bottle. Then production date approaching - a lot of co-actors and actresses are nervous - then yea, hear them complaining. Brave front is established again but breaking point is close le la. I think I'm already showing my damn fear. Haix. I just want this to be a smooth and successful production.

I shall keep this entry short. Cause I'm getting depressed and angry again. My temper fuse is like so short now a days. I'm getting pissed of by my own classmates too lorx - Cia Ai and Zhen Yin la. Been arguing with them for the last few days. I don't really show it that obviously to Cia Ai and some others cause yea, it's supposed to be friend friend quarrel but I tend to bring it to a higher lvl. If Gerry Kang doesn't control me, think will blow le. Zhen Yin one... no comments. I was only nice to her today... after so long. She's like the typical Helen Kingshaw in The King of The Castle.

Shall end here. Nights!

Welcome Back to Blog Land

2005-05-04T01:31:00.000+08:00

Gosh... it's been so long since I've last blogged. Loads of stuff have been going on and suddenly, I realise that I'm falling back into that laziness that connoted my downfall last year. As much as I do not wish to see myself in that pathetic predicament again, I only fear the worst. There's hardly any planning in my life and as if it's God's way of telling me to wake up, I've been hearing the phrase: "Not planning is planning to fail". Uncle Allan said it on Sunday during cell... then today, Mrs Chong repeated it. Mr Clement Cheng said the exact same phrase during GP in the afternoon. A sense of da ja voo... I guess it's more than just that. It's about time I really picked myself up again. I've been procrastinating for too long a time thus, work load has been piling up. The buffer zone that I had established has long ago, been torn down. I find myself lagging behind now. A new walk of life; new challenges. I'm adapting but a little too slowly. I'm changing but I don't like what I'm seeing. Yes, the old self still is existent however, the darker side is emerging too. I find myself as a confused dope, a lost lamb without direction. Nothing was as it seemed.

Literature is totally different from that in Secondary School. I'm struggling to keep up. Maybe it's just me - lack of talent? I don't know. GP is totally foreign - it's kinda like an anti-literature essay - no expressive and flamboyant language to be used. I can't even write my usual introductions for heaven's sake. Haix. Change is emminent rather, crutial for survival. Mathematics is going quite fine - the only consolation but yea, there are still stumbling blocks along the way. Economics is close to disaster - I know not what I'm writing. Common test is on Monday somemore... I'm doing the test by faith le - I'll just do my best and hopefully, God will do the rest. Project Work is a bumpy process - I'm not familar with my group members and errrx, find it a little hard to communicate with them. We're a hardworking bunch but yea, no communication means no constructive group work. This, we'll have to work on. Finally, Chinese. I really don't want to comment on this but a fact is a fact la - I might not even clear it this year. A mere pass seems almost impossible. Can Alice Teo work a mirical or something? But first of all, can I actually trust her and be diligent. I doubt so. Haix. Why do I dislike the language so much?

Consolation lies in StAJeworks. It's really something I treasure in AJC. There's life in there at least. Nice people, nice environment. Disadvangtage is that it brings out the old Jun Kai. I don't like what's happening. The vulgar, hot tempered and impulsive self is emerging again. Is this what the stage does to us? Life is a stage indeed - we enter, we exit. But on it, we change, slowly. I don't know what's up with me on the stage. I'm not who I am. Makes no sense? I don't get what I'm typing to. StAJeworks is fun, I have to admit, but through it, much confusion arises. Character finding is one thing... relationships are another. Details, I shaln't go into as yet but yea, am I going to break my own promise to myself? I think I might... oh, I don't know. I can't even trust myself now. I'll definately go about deluding myself if my hope comes to light but then again, will it even? Who am I anyway. I'm just a mere boy, with nothing that significant. I'm blabbering again - so be it - it's always been that way.

I've just completed my literature homework. A three page essay is all I can manage - no more. Where's the creative juices? Economics homework, can't seem to do - makes no sense. Chinese - trying my best... finished question 1 of the comprehension. 3 more questions to go - shouldn't be that big a problem. Chinese summary wouldn't be too. It's just the front portion - numbers. Might go on a guessing frenzy if I'm too tired. I don't really care - it's chinese.

Alight. I sound so deviod from myself. Enstranged rather. Oh whatever. Look at yourself now - who are you? Haix. Spiritually, I'm on a downslide. Never seem to admit it but well, I am. You ask me personally, I'll just smile. The fact is it's not going well. God, where in the world are You ar? I don't doubt You but things are happening a little slowly. I know You've been helping me but I want more. Quiet time is important - yes, Uncle Allan has been nagging but then, why can't I bring myself to commit? I find myself sleeping, playing music or doing homework instead of spending time with Him. And I'm getting seperated from my family. Find it irritating. Dislike myself cause everytime I talk to my mum, it's about money. Gosh... what's happening. The root of all evil? Haix. What is going on?

*take a short break now to do chinese again... be back soon*

I don't seem to comprehend even the question but I guessed it. Should be right. Note that my breaks are considered now as periods to actually embark on a working phrase. How pathetic and lifeless. Oh wellx... Hmmmx.. but then again, I do understand the passage. And you know what, God works wonders. Things make sense again. Hahax. Eh, a chinese passage actually spoke to me!!! Yea... humility is something that I need to work on. An answer to my above lamenting and ranting. Interesting how God can work at times. A chinese passage. Wow. Hahax.

*another short pause to complete the comprehension - fully*

I gotta share a testimonial on this la. It's so interesting how God speaks. Yuppie. Cannot be two-faced. Hahax. Cool you know. Thanks God.... Well, I still got the summary to do. The numbers part I think go school copy from Cia Ai la. Can't do it on my own. Won's make sense anyway. Hehex. The testimonial errrx.. I'll remind myself to write it. Or God, let Uncle Allan remind me of it somehow? Hehex. Yuppie. Shall end off here and get on with work...

*****************

Mmmmx.. God, been some time ya? I'll make this prayer consized cause still got work to do. Yea. Thanks for speaking to me even as I was rushing through my work. I just pray that You'll give me directions in my life - studies and especially, relationship wise. I want to know Your plans. I pray for my cell too - guide all of them even as their exams come. Pray for my own exams too - help me study hard and retain all information - in the end, let the glory go to You. I wanna see Your works in my life. Pray finally for StaAJeworkds - production nears. Help us all work together as a team. Pray for those who need You. Mmmmx.. Shall not mention names but You know the people that I've been praying for - work within them and soften their hearts. In Jesus name I pray - AMEN!

Back to Blogging

2005-04-18T10:48:00.000+08:00

It's been some time since I last blogged. Hehex. Last dated entry was like more than a week ago. Been busy with school work and CCA... Mathematics has been fun so far but horx, economics struggling to cope. The basics I still blur blur de. Hehex. Oh well... hope can catch up soon. Ummmx... oki, so what's been happening so far in my life ar? Hehex... it's see...

1) Got a new handphone (at last)
2) Been having hardcore rehearsals for Stajworks production (very fun though)
3) Been mugging till the wee hours of the day (trying to finish my homework)
4) Picked up the guitar again and learnt more nonsense on it (jie's guitar sound very nice.. dun wan to return her le.. hehex...)

Okiex... I forgot what's been going on le. Growing old. Lalala.... Oh yea... point to note, I'm blogging on AJC's school computer now. Mr. Clement Cheng went off for lecture so the class is quietly 'working' in the computer lab. Hehex. So much for project work lesson. I have totally no idea what to do for project work. Think tonight go back home ask daddy and mummy for ideas le. Maybe if lucky, can get a full-proof project to work on from daddy. Hehex.

Feeling tired cause yesterday did economics TYS until 0000h. Lack sleep. Blahx. Next period economics lecture then CLAO!!! Hahax. Chinese teacher again... mmmx... must buy food to silence her again if not horx, sure get scolded for no reason. Hehex. She's still as sexist as ever but coping fine so far. Thank God. Hehex....

Things that happened are slowly coming back - yesterday studied with Gerry, Cia Ai and Xaiver at BK. Hehex. I finished 3/4 of Mathematical Induction then lost concerntration. Went over to Macs to study with Jolene and Merissa after that. So it became a continueous study session for me. Quite productive. Hehex. Went back to BK to chat chat after that followed Cia Ai to Mavis to visit Miss Chee... She still remembers me! Hahax.... Not bad.

Went back to BK to makan dinner with Xaiver and wait for Jie to come down to meet me. Yeahx. And Cia Ai followed us to church after that. Fun. The kids were crazy as usual. Hehex. Bad impression but wadeva la - they're kids. Hahax.

Mmmmx... bax to present time cause the time I have left here is running out. Hahax. Later after school meeting Vanessa to 'operate' on her flute. Hahax. Gotta be back in school at 7pm for stajworks rehearsal after that. Yawn. Think today 11pm den reach home le so will try to clear tmr's hw ASAP. Hehex. Shall end her before anything bad happens. =)

*************

Lord, been quite a while since had time to blog. Busy. But yea, know that You've been there watching over me. Hehex. If not sure cannot survive until today de. Just wanna commit the cell into Your hands... guide the kids la. And for Cia Ai too... hehex... just speak to her in Your own personal way. Use us as friends to help her if needed too. Yuppie. Bless 3905 too - bond us together and help us to help each other through the time we'll be spending in AJC. Help us all to cope and excel. Yuppie. Pray all these in Your name - AMEN!

Chinese Teacher

2005-04-06T23:20:00.000+08:00

You know what? I've got a fucking bitch as my chinese teacher in AJC! That whore is a bloody sexist lorx! She siezes every opportunity she has to find fault and scold the guys! The girls lei? Totally spared. What the hell does she have against guys huh? Got ditched by her husband is it? Or last time let her father rape? Don't see why she has to be so fucked up with the guys! Screw that inhuman creature. She actually scolded a guy whom she question: "where are you going" when he was heading towards the classroom.. then the guy jokingly replied: "i'm not ponning your lesson la" then guess what, she scolded him until he almost cried! Utter nonsense! Then I told her I clear my chinese A'levels this year will be satisfied le... then she spent the whole lesson indirectly scolding me. And guess what, one of the girls in the class also told her almost the same thing and all the insults and reprimanding was targeted at me, not her. Then kept calling those who did well in English and badly in chinese "losers". She think she go NJC then transfer to HCJC very good is it? Top 5 so what?! Then get PRC scholarship very big la... keep on showing off to us somemore.. say what we are all second band students! Fuck the bitch la! I'll fucking clear my chinese this year and tell her to go fuck herself! Wanna learn also cannot learn with her fucking us around. Tomorrow if she tries the same sexist stunts again, I swear I'll go to Mr. Cheng to complain le. So damn unreasonable... Argh! Damn pissed lorx! Grrrx....

Mmmmx... oki.. forgive the choice of vocab above. I'm really pissed with that thing. Haix. Sexist! I rather her be racist lorx. Grrrx...

Anyway, besides chinese period, school was pretty fun today. The new timetable started today. Had Mathematics lecture for first block period then proceeded to economics tutorial. I love Mrs Helen Chong! She's nice and she has a record of 100% passes in her economics classes! Amen! She's really good la. Great memory too - actually got all of our names into her brain in 20minutes. Hahax. Pro.

Had double PE after that. Xavier was telling me that PE in AJC very tough but errrx... although didn't train for very long le, I found it quite oki la. Hahax. The pull up competition was rubbish. Hahax. We were divided into two groups den supposed to compete see which side can do more. My side horx, I contributed to more than 1/3 of the total pull-ups done! Wah lao! And we lost in the end. Irritating. Waste my energy. 14 guys althoughter, including me, and do a total of 27 pull-ups only. I did 10. *whine* Then we ran round and round the track - really slowly. 2minutes per lap lorx... and got break in between de. Hahax. Quite slack. PE ended really late though.. 30minutes late so had only 20minutes to rest. I went to go bathe with Xavier and Shannon. A cold bath after PE rocks lorx! Hahax. While bathing, we were talking about mushrooms growing in our damn underwears. Hahax. Quite cute la. Mmmmx... went to canteen for a quick bite after that then went for chinese tutorials. That, I shall not elaborate or I'll end up pissing myself off again.

Literature tutorial followed. Mr Guru went through King Lear's history context with us. The lesson was not very interesting but fine. Hahax. Then went for maths tutorial after that - quite slack cause I finished all the tutorials in advance le. Hahax. Entertained questions and tried collecting money for econs TYS in the end. Hahax. Hope I dont have many wrong answers in my assignment. Hehex.

Mmmmx... went for CCA after that. Stageworks was quite sian today - watched other ppl act only then got to play around for a while before we were dismissed. We started at 2:30pm.. ened at 7:30pm. Long right? Haix. Hahax. Hardwork will pay off la. =) Went for dinner with Xavier and Shannon after that then took bus back with Xavier. I changed a total of three buses before I got home. Blahx. I'm a street idiot la. Changed buses for nothing. Hehex.

Mmmmx... reached home le nearly 10pm so went to bathe and off to the computer. I'll read up my maths in a while and then go sleep le la. Tmr double period chinese and got afternoon PE so better rest well. Hehex. Nitex world!

******************

God, I'm really fustruated with my chinese teacher. As much as i hate the subject, I wanna clear it so dun need to touch it next yr... but mmmx, this teacher's hard to work with lei. I just pray that somehow Father, You'll just help change the way things are - dunno how but yea, just do it la. Really need You for this. Mmmmx... wanna thank You that You've given me great teachers that are fun to be with. Instill that passion for learning within me so that You may be glorified through it all. I wanna pray that You'll bond 3905 closer together too - we need each other's support for this short 1.5yrs we have in JC. Tmr Cia Ai's b'dae too Lord - bless her and yea, let her have fun tmr. Be with her Lord. Commit Eugene into Your hands too - he hasnt received work from the poly yet on his application. Give him rest Lord and help him through this period of time. Pray that somehow, You'll make a way for him. Pray also for Donkey 2005 - help and guide all of them in whatever they do. So Lord, I commit all these unto You - continue to use me and bless me for Your causes and plans. I'm Yours... All these I give unto You - AMEN!

No More Shorts!

2005-04-04T23:00:00.000+08:00

Finally! After ten long years, I finally get to get rid of those green and irritating shorts! No more metal buttons with rings too! No more Catholic High uniform! Yeahx! Although AJC uniform looks makes the students look like factory workers, it sure beats the green shorts. Hahax. The uniform's pretty warm though but well, I'll make the neccessary sacrifices. Hehex.

Anyway, today reached school pretty early and there was no one there. So lonely. Hahax. Stoned at one corner and errrx, tried to sleep while standing. Gerry came shortly and then went to sit down and sleep. Assembly was filled with annoncements as usual... So boring! Hehex. Went to collect script for "Mother Courage" then went back and sat down with the clique. Chatted and did C'maths tutorials until time to go for PW lecture. The lecture lasted 1.5hrs long and I tell you ar, it's torture. Mr. Cheng had to come into the LT and sit behind us somemore. Want to sleep also cannot. Had to fake take notes when there were nothing to take down - teach us how to use search engine online. Haix.. I think we have been using computers for a longer period of time than the teacher lorx. *whine* Painful 1.5hrs la.

Mmmmx.. went for literature after that - Ms. Wong conducted today's lecture and it was cute. Had to take plenty of notes though - hand was quite numb. Gerry and myself realised why summary for english in secondary school's so important too! Hahax. If cannot summarize on the spot ar, sure die one. Hehex.

Had a nice break after lit. I went to buy AJC uniform. My waist size is 27 and they didn't have my size. Oh wellx... I just took two sizes up cause I desperate le la. Hahax. The girls didn't get their uniforms cause didn't have their sizes. "Figure too perfect la" (Cai Ai)
Hahax. Yea la... All very pretty and slim la kx? Hahax.

Mmmmx.. economics followed and it was boring. I slept 3 times in the 45minutes span but dunno why kept waking up too. Hahax. Environment was perfect to sleep la. AJC uniform warm warm de... den I wearing CHSSB jacket somemore... comfy la. Then air conditioning was cold on top of the cold weather. So yea, tempted to sleep. Hahax.

Had double break after that. Went to the canteen with Gerry, Cai Ai and Gwen to makan. Cai Ai a bit the hyper today lei - kept making me laugh. Blahx. Hahax. But yea, she and gwen super nonsense la - details, i choose not to elaborate. Hehex.

Went for C'maths lecture after that. We had a fun lecturer to teach us Mathematical Induction. Showed us video and made some interesting comparisms but horx, when he finally started teaching, I got a little lost. Had to ask Gerry to clarify some stuff... but still din understand =) I only grasped the concept when i got home. Hehex.

Mmmmx... C'maths ended den went with the girls to check stock for their uniforms - no luck, so went home lorx. Took 853 with Cai Ai and Gerry. Got off together and bid farewell to Cai Ai. The bus stop was quite buggy... hehex... all the little flies all circulating around the area. I caught two bare handed... and one on gerry's hair.. one on myself.. and the final one on her uniform. Hahax. Those bugs and dumb la. Hehex. Took 53 home and did C'maths tutorials. Very tiring oki? I did until about 7pm+ non-stop: amazing how time flies when you concentrate. Hahax. Was listening to FM95.0 too. Then they had this school days dedication song... Reminded me of 05B11 lei... I kinda miss them le. Jolene, Jing Yun, J.Chua, J.Lai, Michelle, Kaixin and Celeste... aiya.. list goes on la.. Merissa, Vanessa... Blahx. Oki oki.. then they had to play "I Hope You Dance". That was the last song he heard together. Hahax. Oh wellx...

Went out with daddy at around 7:30pm to alter my pants. After that, went to heartland to buy some presents. Walked around aimlessly before settled on my choices. Spent quite a bit there. =) Yeahx. Then went back, ate Laksa for dinner then back to work le. Finished Sigma Notation Tutorials at last! Not bad! Hahax. I read through my script too - maybe later go memorize le. Hahax.

So, that's my day!

********************

You've been faithful Father... I thank You for guiding me and watching over me. Although AJC quite stress, think I'm coping fine la. Know that You're working within me... and the class too. Thanks! Wanna pray for Donkey 2005 - guide the kids as they carry on with the week. Show them Your glory and use them for Your perfect plans. Continue to pray for jiejie too. You've been providing for so long le... just carry on in shaping her for Your glory. Yeahx. Wanna pray for my class in AJC too - they're a great bunch and I thank You for them however Lord, there are ppl amongst them who do not really know You or have backslided. I now pray Lord, that You'll use me and the other believers to reach out to them. You've put me in AJC for a reason so yea, my life in there is Yours. Let everything be used for Your glory. Mmmmx... wanna pray for "Mother Courage" play too - help me memorize my lines effectively by wednesday. Need You to help - not easy. Yuppie. So yea Father, all these I commit unto You - use me for Your plans yea? I wanna see for of You in my life - AMEN!

Yawn

2005-03-31T22:30:00.000+08:00

Just fnished my first C'mathematics tutorial. I have no idea how I'm gonna complete the entire set by next Wednesday - still got six more to go. Blahx. Just got a call from AJC's Eugene... tomorrow CCA starts le. 4:30pm to errrx, think about 7:00pm. Honeymoon's over and here we go. I hope Stageworks is interesting - if not life in AJC is gonna be sealed to studying le. Besides 39/05, I need another medium to destress la. Mugging ain't fun.

Mmmmx... this morning go school witnessed an accident. Was quite bad lorx. A Honda Civics crashed into a motorcycle - impact was so hard that the whole bonet compressed lorx. Poor motorist. Thank God, despite the super heavy jam, I got to school on time. No assembly today cause supposed to meet our Home Tutor. Mr. Clement Cheng's errrx, boring. Hahax. Oki - hopefully it's just that he hasn't shown his interesting side yet. I'm waiting. Hahax. Yeahx. He gave the class many forms to fill up and we obediently did so. Bell rang and we went for economics lecture. It's a very bad way to start of a day la. I was yawning throughout the lecture and struggling to keep up. Why must the teacher rush through! Argh.. her teaching is comprehensive but she's rushing too much! Hehex... Oh wellx.. I'll study and revise economics soon la.

C'maths lecture followed. We're still stuck at Sigma Notations. Hahax. Teacher went real slow but somehow, I managed to get lost. Dunno how I did that though. Hehex. Asked Gerry at the end of the lecture and thank God la, she explained and I got my confused self cleared up. The concept was that simple. Dodo me. Hehex. Anyway, literature followed. As usual, it was fun. We went through detective novels' history (18th century). My hand was numb after the lecture ended cause was taking notes down at bullet speed. Hehex. Literature has a lot of note taking - that I realised. =)

A nice and well deserved double break followed. I was guai and went to clear my C'maths tutorial lorx. Got stuck so many times (ie. lack of practice). *whine* I'll work. The Nexus was locked so couldn't go in to slack thus, eneded up in the canteen with Gerry and Cai Ai. Grabbed a quick bite then went for home tutor period in room 222. Cozy (pathetic) little room it was. AJC really no money mehx? Hahax. Settled a whole load of admin stuff while I was in the corner day dreaming. Crapped with Gerry and Cai Ai a little too before I went into daydream overdrive. Mr. Cheng's meetings has always been boring. When will they change? Haix. Boring talks in the auditorium followed. It was amusing to see Gerry suffering as the speakers talked nonsense. Hehex. Oh well... the whole auditorium was dying of fustraution la - speakers were stating the obvious and we had to listen - insult our intellect. Hahax.

After being dismissed, wanted to go home rest le. Tired ma. But it was raining extremely heavily. In the end, just chiong to bus stop with Gerry lorx. What to do? Yes, I got wet and froze in the bus. Took 13 with Veronica to J8 then we went our seperate ways. Took 53 home after that - slept in the bus cause super tired. Yeahx. Got home and continued doing C'mathematics tutorial until finished the first set. Went online to slack after that lorx.

Yeahx. So that's my day. Hope tomorrow will be more interesting. Hope I dun have to go back all alone. Dun like going home alone... Later get kidnapped. Hahax. Argh.. too much maths le - I'm blabbering bosh. =) Nitex world!

*********************

Dear God, thanks for today. Although it has been a tiring day, it's been a fruitful one. I believe that the seed has been sown in Gwendoline's heart today. May myself and Gerry continue to be able to bring her back to You. Help us to strengthen her faith in You and ya Lord, be ever attentive to her prayers. Yuppie. Mmmx.. tomorrow first day of CCA for me - bless the time that I'll be having with the crew. I pray that through this CCA, I'll be able to enjoy myself and destress. Not to forgot too, may it somehow, bring glory to You. It's all for You la. Pray that You'll help with the composing of "I Believe" for Seasons of Worship too. I'm quite dry on ideas now so, need You to fill me up once again. It's for Your glory again Father - not anything else. Pray for 39/05 - bond the class closer together Lord and mmmx, help us to motivate each other to persist in studying. Pray that You'll help us all to set aside a day whereby we can gather for a time of fellowship and study once every week too. I'll be waiting for Your guidance on this. Commit Donkey 2005 into Your hands too - help each of them in all they do and shower Your blessings over them too. They're growing kids who need You Lord. For myself too.. and Zhengxian. Fill us with Your abundant love so that we may honour You in all we do. Finally, pray for jiejie. Continue to guide her and show her Your plans for her ya? So Father Lord, I commit all these into Your loving hands. I know You're always by my side and listening so I give You praise and thanks in Jesus name - AMEN!

17th Birthday

2005-03-29T23:35:00.000+08:00

I like today. After 17 years right, somehow, although got no party or anything, I find this birthday the best I've had so far. I didn't remind anybody of it but still got so many people SMS me wish me. Thanks a lot for remembering. Touched. Yeahx. Then I got presents from very unexpected people like Jiejie (who seldom buy presents) and my AJC OG. Hahax. So sweet lorx. Special thanks to Yang, Vanessa, Jamie, Uncle Allan and Yolanda for the presents. Appriciate them - especially Yolanda's... hahax... I didn't even expect you to remember but you did! Touched. Hahax. Thanks for all the SMSes too ya? Love you all!

Day started of with school as usual. Reached AJC at about 0715h and went to check my new class posting. I got my subject combination and realised I'm being placed in a class with hardly any boys. Not bad. Hahax. But well, the minus point was that I knew no one in the class. Hahax. Guess they all were also 2nd intakers. Blahx.

Yeahx. So went to AJ Square and found my class cone. I just left my bag there and went off to chat with my CHS ppl since there was not a single soul sitted in the row yet. Hehex. Had to get back into line soon though cause assembly starting le. As I was saying, I knew no one so I just stood there and stoned. Was praying that the class wouldn't be so dead - literature class somemore lei - if dead one ar, I am so dead. Hehex. So yea, national athem, pledge and a long list of announcements before we were dismissed. First period was free period and well, I gathered with the group of girls in front of me and chatted. 6 of them if I counted correctly. Yeahx. We went to the study area outside Auditorium to chat lorx. Icebreaking la. The class ain't gonna be boring afterall - we've got nice girls. Hahax. Amen and thank God! Hahax. That's a nice birthday present from God la. Hahax. Thanks!

Went for PE after that - boring. Took height and weight. I'm 45kg and 163cm. Yes, I'm light and short - dun rub it in. Hahax. Then PE teacher gave us a general talk then chased the guys away - the girls had additional talk... girls stuff la. Hehex. Yuppie. I went to reading room and met the 3 others guys in my class - two TCHS and one RI guy. Wow! We chatted then played one round of cards before they left for next lecture. I went back to wait for the girls. Gentleman right? Hahax. Oki... nonsense. So we went for C'maths lecture after that and errrx, boring la. The teacher talk monotone one. I yawned at least 10 times throughout the lecture but did learn stuff about sigma notation la. It's not that chim afterall. Hehex.

Economics was next and errrx, the teacher rushed through. Even with my background in economics, I was struggling to keep up. So fast lorx. Hehex. Pity the rest who didn't take econs in their first three months. Blahx. Fast. Literature followed and errrx... Mr Guru introduced us to King Lear and Shakespeare. He's fun... but too bad when he presented half way, there was a blackout. So dark lorx. Hehex. He managed to continue though. I made use of my handphone to errrx, give me light for writing notes. Hahax. Advantages of having a handphone torch la. Hehex. =) PW lecture after lit was cancelled cause blackout still not resolved. I went down to the bookshop to order notes with the girls before going to the auditorium for SOP talk by the VP. It was utter nonsense in short la. Hehex. Went for break shortly and we were all super hungry. =) Food in AJC is better than MI but errrx, still lousy. Hahax. Socialised and ate before moving of to lit make-up lecture. Guru showed us Shakespeare in Love video but again, blackout. Haix. Unlucky. Hahax. I couldnt see him in the dark you know. Hahax. So no choice, remaining half of lecture cancelled and we went to auditorium for talk on project work. It sounds scary if you ask me - I hope can get good grp members. Hahax.

Mmmmx.... maths make-up lecture was next but errrx, venue was still in auditorium cause power not back up in the other block. I ended up sitting with Geridine alone cause the rest of the girls dunno ran to where. Went through Binomial and impartial fractions. Was quite oki and managable la. I'll practice further soon though to make sure. Hehex. Went with Gerry to collect our ordered notes after that then went home together with her. Chit-chatted all the way home. Hahax. Not bad - now i got company. Hehex. Thanks God. =) I'm starting to like AJ a little more now.

Reached home shortly and errrx, wanted to change and go to the computer but fell asleep in the process. Hehex. Daddy woke me up at 1645h to go for CGL training. I cooked maggie mee, ate it and then vanished from the house. Was in PLMC in no time and training commenced. It wasnt that boring today cause errrx, Uncle Andy gave me a lot of attention for some special reason. Hahax. Then yea, they ended of by all praying for me. Wonder why suddenly prayed for me in particular but well, it was nice. I'll treat that as a birthday present from them (although they dunno is my b'dae) then... Hahax.

Went back home and yea, mummy bought cake for me. Lighted candles and went through the traditional ritual of birthday song and what-so-ever. Hahax. Then daddy prayed for me. I dunno why but I kinda felt like crying when he prayed... I felt so warm inside all of a sudden. Hahax. God was there listening and I know it. Amen! It was nice.

Mmmmx... practiced maths after eating cake then yea, to the computer. I'll open the remaining presents in a while and yea, catch up with my sleep. Hahax. It's been a long but enjoyable day. Amen and happy birthday to myself. Hahax.

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God, I really thank you for today. It has been a great birthday for me cause Lord, I know that You were there by my side. You've given me a nice environment in school to be in, great friends, wonderful family and yea, the list goes on. Thank you so much. I just wanna pray that Lord, You'll just help me to treasure all these and use these things that You've blessed me with, somehow, to reach out and touch others. Blessed to bless la. Also wanna pray for my cell group members - Need You to watch over them and help them to guard themselves against the devil. I pray especially for daniel - he really needs You to be by his side cause yea, he's experiencing a lot - You have plans for Him Father but Lord, for now, just help him. Slowly ba. Commit him to You. Pray also for my new AJC class. They're a great bunch and give thanks to You for them but Lord, I pray that You'll just keep us together for these 2yrs that we're gonna be in the college. Help us to motivate one another constantly to study. Help me to remember too that I'm studying for You. For those in the class who do not know You, I pray that You'll use me and the rest to bring You into their lives. Mmmmx.. pray for jiejie too. I wanna believe that miricles are gonna happen. You know her and her problems - help her and Lord, pave her path for her live. Show her Your glorious plans too. Yuppie. So yea Lord, once again, thanks a lot for everything. I love You Father. All these I pray in Your mighty name - AMEN!

Easter

2005-03-27T23:59:00.000+08:00

Amen! Christ has risen once again! Yeahx! 7am was in church for breakfast. Was super tired cause slept really errrx... early this morning. Hahax. Think slept at about 2am ar... cause watched TV with mummy. Oh wellx...

Went up to santuary and tried to warm up. I sounded like errrx, nonsense la. Ears weren't working properly - tuning also got problem. Haix - that's me - morning always got problem with music one. Hehex. I didn't have enough time to warm up and I sounded so weird. The mic was on high filter and I didn't realise so it hardly picked up my flute. Oh wellx... whatever. I only realised when we finish the normal worship segment. Hahax. I only turned it back to medium pick-up before "The King". I shouldnt have cause I was very out of tune. Bad move. I knew I was out of tune but just cannot stop playing if not very obvious got something missing. Then I roll the mouth piece in and out also no use one. The tone kept running. Bad bad... when the piece finally ended, I felt bad. I really hope I didn't spoil the whole song. *glupx* Mmmmx...
Rev Escobar preached again. It wasnt as interesting as friday's but still good la. David was talking to me throughout service. Talked about Charmaine's G-string. Hahax. Oki.. violin string la. Hehex. He had to phrase it as "G-string" la. Kids... hahax...

Once service ended, the whole ensemble dashed out of the santuary. Was super cold lorx. Jie gave me my very heavy birthday present then. Hahax. Thanks Jie... the packaging very nice. =) and the plus point is you finally wrapped it yourself! Hahax. Thanks! Love you. Hehex.

Stoned a while then went back up again for 1115h service. This one was much better. At least I was in tune - but still soft. Whatever. Maybe it's just my ears. Hehex. Mmmmx... after worship and "The King", the whole ensemble ran downstairs cause din wanna hear sermon again. David and myself crapped with annabelle and beatrice for a while. I spent time munching on biscuits too - and disturbing jamie. Hahax. Then yea, we decided to go back up. Mmmmx.. Rev Escobar was closing off. So yea, we just sat down and listened a little. Then he started praying. The presence of God was there again. Very strong too. He just pointed at a few people and asked them to come foward and he just shouted: "In Jesus name" and guess what, they were slain there and then. So strong lorx His presence. Again, Escobar just walked pass and touched them and they fell. That's the power of God. Some people resisted but well, most received. It was wonderful to be watching. Hahax. Nice.

Yeahx. After service went to CGL meeting. Everybody was late so the thing delayed. Jie conviniently decided to come late - with my lunch! I was super hungry oki? Hahax. But well... worship was nice. Then horx... wah, uncle david shared with us on how Jesus washed the feets of His discipiles - I thought was very boring until he said that he was going to do it there and then. Hahax. So yea, he took a pail of water and washed all the team leaders' feets! I was shocked lorx. Hehex. But then, as the music played on, I knew that God was there. Easter Sunday - He has risen! Amen! Then yea, after that, the team leaders washed our feets. Uncle David washed mine. We are all equal before the Lord and yea, I am gonna humble myself down to serve. It was nice. Hahax.

After that, was discussion. I couldnt stand it lorx. Talked about the hospitality ministry and errrx, how to improve it. Now they gonna get the cell leaders involved. I'm somewhat against it but errrx, I'm in no postition to speak to just listen and nod head lorx. Hahax. Oh wellx... soon, got really hungry and just ran out to eat my chicken rice - which jie bought la. Hahax. Then went back in for torture again. The discussion got more and more boring until I couldnt take it so went out to stretch again. What's the big fuss about welcoming newcomers! Argh! Hahax. Yeahx. Went back in again later then they finalised - and guess what, this coming saturday, I gotta stand by to help the hospitality ministry! Wahx! I'm in charge of the ensemble le den ask me help in hospitality now? Argh... oki oki... service to God... it's oki. Hahax. I will serve and He'll provide. yeahx la... God, for You.

Jie asked me some stuff about the hospitality stuff after that den errrx, couldnt answer her so we went to speak to uncle allan. He gave us a lot of books. Hahax. Will read them to improve ourselves right jie? Hahax. I hope got time. Yeahx. Then jie went to talk to Uncle David about some personal stuff. I went out to wait. I roughly know what's going on la. Hehex. But shall not mention here cause ya, it's personal. =)

Went buy ginseng drink for daddy after that cause he still sick ma. Spent quite a lot but well, never mind la. It's for my father. Hahax. Jie bought whip-potato and then shared with me. Hahax. Cause my hands very full, she fed me all the way to the bus stop. Hahax. Baby Kai again lorx. Hehex. Yeahx. I ended up taking a cab home cause lazy to walk le. Hehex.

Reached home, gave daddy the drink then went to check email and chat. Chatted with Meryl about AJC's OG Athena outing den yea, ate dinner and blahx blahx blahx... list goes on. Daddy's talking a lot now - guess he's better. So rubbish la he. Good! That's normal! Hahax. Mummy forcing daddy wear shirt now - hahax. Mummy: "You don't behave like a three year old baby can or not? You already better then now, want to let it go worst." Hahax. Comedy la. =) Hehex...

Okiex.. me gonna sleep soon. Tomorrow got school! Hahax. Nitex world.

*********************

Lord, thanks for everything! Amen for today, You have risen from the dead! We now have victory over the devil. We have won the battle. Give You praise and glory for that! Thank you so much for dying for us on the cross. We prase and exalt Your name. Mmmmx... Lord, evem as i return to school tomorrow, I pray that You'll just go before me and bless the day and all the ground that I'll be stepping on. Bless the time of fellowship that I'll be having with all my OG members too. Guard us and give us good weather for the outing. Yeahx. Also pray that You'll use me to reach out to ppl in AJC. You've put me there for a reason so yea, just continue to use me. I am Yours Father. Pray also for Jie - You know the areas in her life where she needs Your guidance. We're both confused over certain issues and Lord, not only for her Lord, but for myself too, give us wisdom to know your plans. Help us to be patient and know that You are always there, loving us. Also commit the Seasons of Worship song that I'll be composing unto You. You are gonna be glorified in the song - credit will go to You Father and Lord, just help me. With You, I can do great things. I've seen it before and now, I want a second round. Use me as Your composer Lord. Thank You! Commit Donkey 2005 into Your hands too - it's a new cell - young sheep they are - help them, especially daniel, to walk and trust You. Holy Spirit, fall even know. And finally Lord, Rev. Escobar - may I have faith as strong as him and more Lord - more! I want to be able, one day, to lay hands on ppl and see them being healed and slain. Strengthen me and fill me Lord, for Your glory. Build me up for this. So Lord, all these I pray in Your almight name - AMEN!

Power of God

2005-03-26T23:59:00.000+08:00

Wahx. Today's a great day! Hahax. I sound like Lee Hak Boon but what the heck - cause today really was great. Hehex. Morning had ensemble practice. Susanna was there and so, she conducted the whole practice. I slacked la. My rythem was erratic and very messy - think susanna got a little irritated but luckily, the problem cleared as we neared the end of the practice. Our special item piece was finally settled. Yeahx!

Went for lunch after that - Susanna, Timothy and myself. Went to Serangoon Garden's Cafe Cartel. Susanna's treat. Hahax. Nice nice. We chatted about school, music and children. A lot of stuff la. Hahax. I was having fun eating the bread with soup. Hahax. Main course was super salty but edieble. Quite oki overall although Bishan's one is much nicer. Hahax. Had a nice meal and then took 136 back home. Rested and stoned as usual. Played piano but errrx, I dunno why it sounded super weird. I gave up after a while cause was irritating myself. Hahax. It was raining and daddy was sick.... No one was going to Youth Service with me today - so sad. Jingyun suddenly depression again so yea, cannot go. Then Michelle and gang all cannot come. Oh wellx... So held an ensemble practice at 1600h lorx. Hehex. Daddy, even though sick, fetched me to PLMC again. So nice. Hehex.

In church, I got my room and yea, soon the clarinetists all arrived and we started making noise. Hehex. Exchanged instruments and played too. Met Yolanda too... and oki, this one very touching. She actually remembered my birthday lei. Awwwx... she bought b'dae present for me. Touched. The first person to give me. Hahax. Thanks so much dear. =)

Met my cousin and her friends then we had dinner in my room. Hehex. Yummie. Dinner was nice! Really nice. Yeahx. Then we went for service. I wasnt expecting much but well, I tell you, God was there indeed kx? So strong somemore. Vanessa and gwen gwen came too. Mmmmx.. yeahx.. sermon was funny and cute. My cell members were irritating as usual but that's beside the point. When sermon ended and Rev Escobar presented alter call, timothy wanted to go up so I just followed him lorx. Then horx, Escobar prayed for everybody. I didnt go up to be prayed for but he just laid one hand on my head and lightly pushed. I felt the Holy Spirit flow through me and I fell. I was that powerful. I didnt even anticipate... and he didnt say anything. He just laid his hand on me and I fell instantly. God was there alright. He was strong! Amen! And yes, I know the youths were touched. Lives were changed. Amen!

Yeahx... after service, chatted with jie for a while. Then went to talk to beatrice. I'm getting a little irritated but well, I shall control. About what, errrx, the world doesnt need to know yet. Oh wellx... Anyway, Vanessa was the second one to give me b'dae present then was Jamie. Jamie gave me cute cute soft toy. She was kinda weak then cause yea, was just slain. Talked to her a while then I went for supper with Melinda, Gwen and vanessa. Went to macs. We did our catching up la. Hehex. So long never see each other le. Hahax. Was fun chatting with them. =) We went outside macs to chat after that cause macs was closing. Chatted till midnight. Vanessa and gwen went seperate ways. I sent melinda back then took the last 153 bus back home. Hahax. Mummy din scold when I reached home lei. Hahax. That's the joys of reaching 17. yuppie.

Yeahx. Went online a while then went to bed le cause gotta wake up early for Easter performance. Hehex. It's been a great day and I know God was with me today. Amen! Jesus is gonna rise!

Good Friday

2005-03-25T23:59:00.000+08:00

Woke up really early today cause had to be in church by 0700h. *yawnz* Lydia messaged me to remind me that I had to get up cause supposed to perform for Good Friday service. Literally forced myself off the bed to wash up la. Super lazy. In the end, I found myself in church eating breakfast and then, warming up with Charmaine, Mavis and Timothy. We did one more quick run through our respective solos and then, service started. Rev Escobar preached - he's good la. Entertaining speaker. The ensemble performed quite well although had certain slips here and there. I fell in love with Charmaine's "Via Dolorosa" solo. So melencholic and beautiful! We ran out of the second service cause errrx, din want to hear the exact same thing over again. Hehex. Our finale piece, "You Are My Hiding Place" was super well done - at least that's what I think la. Hehex. Yuppie.

Mmmmx... went home after that to rest. Uncle Joseph fetched me home. Yeahx. Went home and stoned after that. Forgot what I did cause really was stoned ma. Hehex. I know I rested cause super tired - that's all. Lazied around I guess. Hahax. Yeahx. Then soon was 1830h le so I left for church. Was raining super heavily so daddy decided to fetch me - so nice right? Hahax. Was half dead throughout the whole car ride though - sleepy! Hahax.

Rehearsal was quite nonsense. Very terrible cause the whole ensemble was disorganized. Then all the stupid keys of the pieces all not confirmed. Some people take wrong set of scores somemore. So wonderfuk right? Lydia transposed her scores wrongly somemore (partially my fault though... hehex) so took time to transpose again. *whine* Then Susanna only came down to help at 2100h. Super laggy lorx. Aiya.. a lot of problems la. Finally, when we went down to the santuary to combine with the band, we played one song then realised that they finished practicing le. Die lorx. Hahax. It was 2200h so we wanted to practice for our special item but errrx... susanna, who was supposed to conduct, delayed, so in the end, nothing done. Screwed up practice. Hahax. No choice. Tmr must have rehearsal in the morning. *whine* Oh wellx... that's life. Tomorrow practice then.

Reached home then bathed. Went to the computer after that to transpose the neccessary scores. I know I did until very late before going to sleep but whatever la. Who ask me in-charge of the ensemble. Hahax. It's for God anyway so yea... it's alright. He'll provide. Hehex.

AJC Orentation

2005-03-24T22:25:00.000+08:00

Although it's merely orentation, AJC life is already really tough. Havent been blogging cause come back only, super tired le. The activities burnt me out so much that once I reached home, I bathed and dropped dead on my comfy bed. I really pity our OGF's though - think they still had to stay back after we left at like 6:45pm? Poor them.

Yesterday was day one of orentation. The day started of quiet for me. I didn't know anyone - even my CHS ppl there all from errrx, the classes which I don't mix around with. So yea, it was a stoned morning. I kept quiet throughout the whole assembly and just looked arond for familar faces - no luck la. Hehex. Went for career guidance talk and subject combination talk after that. Met Jesse and another CHS guy I knew so sat with them to chit-chat. Finally, some movements. Hahax. I was getting bored le. Yeahx. SMU's talk was cute - done by this bald guy who kept emphasising on how he hated waking up early and all that to give talks. Hehex. NUS was a real professional (and boring) talk but their courses quite attractive. As for NTU, their talk and courses both interesting so maybe can consider them in the future. Hehex. Then the subject talks - took so long lorx! First up was economics - boring! Literature was next and errrx, very interesting. I like the teacher already. But horx, it's like 17 books to read and study in 2yrs.. and on top of that still got Shakespeare's King Lear to do. That's really hardcore and not to mention, expensive. Blahx. History was a total turn off and so was geography. Mathematics wasn't that bad thankfully. Hehex. Went back to the auditorium for talk on Chinese after that. I really wonder how I'm gonna pass my chinese - I hardly understood what the lecturer was blabbering about. Hahax.

Went for lunch with the whole OG Athene after that. The gathering started off really cold. Everyone all like so anti-social de. Hahax. Then yea, our OGFs managed to break the ice and the fun started. We slowly bonded. When it came to games, although it was real tiring, we did really well. We're the best tribe in the whole of Zeus la! Hahax. Athene rocks! Hehex... So yea, ran around the school playing games which were fun. Made friends with the guys effortlessly den during some blindfold maze game, got to know some of the girls better. Yeahx. Mmmmx... after the super tiring games though, I was super shagged. No mood to move at all. Then still had to go back to the stuffy hall and listen to the noise MC blasting over the mics. It was super loud lorx. And irritating not to mention. Dragged the whole thing until like 6:30pm before releasing us. Idiot. Went to the bus stop and took 13 home - bad choice. Total time for journey took 1hr. I slept in the bus and woke up with a spliting headache. Grrrx... So yeahx, went home, bathed and slept straight away. Too tired to do anything else le la.

Mmmm... today school more tiring. Morning reported at AJ square. Before that, chatted with CHS ppl to waste time cause I reached too early. Hahax. There was no assembly today cause everything was behind time. Surrendered wallets and all for safe keeping then went to choose our subject combinations. Had a nonsense and common sensical talk on how to choose subjects before it though. Waste time only. Hehex. Then went to hall to queue up to register. Other people take so long at the terminals one but when my turn, the teacher just took mine, check computer and chased me away. Hahax. Hope that's good. Hehex. Mmmmx.. then went back to Athene dwelling after that and they tried to teach me the AJ Clap. Oki, I gotta admit, all CHS ppl have trouble learning this thingy. Hahax. So chim lorx - den must do so fast somemore - whatever - I'll practice. Hahax. Kenna suaned by the whole dwelling. Blah blahx... nvm.. will practice. By the time I graduate from AJC, I shall master it. Hahax.

Was Mission Games after that. No mercy one these games. Ran around the whole school. Had to do so many things like errrx, play with water guns. Hahax. The girl shooting at me kept shooting my green shorts! What is her problem lorx. Hahax. AJC has a thing for green shorts. Grrrx... hahax... Oh wellx.. the OG's discipline was rather bad but whatever, we won all the games except one. Hehex. Had fun la. Cheering's fun. And I still got my voice. Hehex. Water games were wet and cooling. Lunch was below average but whatever. People tired and hungry le so dun care. Hahax. Had AJ mass dance after all the games. Messy and very complicated oki? It's so chim! Hahax. So much for difficult than MI's dance. Intellectual school got hard dance. Ever beat new action de. Argh... let people suan again cause cannot keep up. Hahax. Then when select ppl go on stage dance, all CHS ppl kenna. Told you AJC got a thing for guys in green shorts?! *whine* SNGS girls were laughing like mad lorx. Grrrx.. Hahax. But anything la.. cause the girls are socialable and friendly. Hahax. And that's a compliment oki? Meow! Hehex. Dance was very tiring oki? And the loud music and loud screamings din help much. I drained myself totally. Shagged!

After dancing, got break. Sat down and listened to MCs talking rubbish again. It's called waste time session la oki? All the stupid games. Hahax. I just sat there with the guys and shouted nonsense. The girls were like sleeping? Hahax. Jade and gang stoned. Boring. So they dragged and dragged, making us watch lame skits, and then dragged somemore until 6:45pm! How wonderful?! Lucky today daddy come and fetch if not sure drop dead on the way home one. Hahax.

Had KFC and macs for dinner. I was hungry oki? hehex. Then ya, so sad, ah ma's moving out of the house. Or should I be happy. I dunno la. I was tired but still helped her pack up everything and then, sent her off. Parents and yang were at church. I was too tired to go. Yeahx. Devoid of emotions now la. Oh wellx.. bye grandma!

*************

Father, I pray for strength. JC life just began and it's already super tiring. Really need Your help to see me through this phase of my education le. Also, tomorrow ensemble having performance for Good Friday. All in all Father, it is for You so Lord, just pray that You'll be there to help us to glorify Your name. Thank You for laying Jesus's life down on the cross for us. Tomorrow, the performance is for You so be there to listen Father. Pray for Donket 2005 too - help us to remain strong in faith for You Lord. Although this week no cell, pray that You'll just work in all their lives ever so abundantly. Also pray for the 26th March event - let jingyun and michelle come kx? Please? Commit it unto You.Yeahx. As for monday, AJC's OG Athene will be organizing outing - help the OGFs and myself to organize kx? Want You to be present even as we go out together too. And Lord, help Jingyun in her appeal into AJC too? But Lord, on top of all, use her for Your plans. Help her to accept failure if necessary. Yeahx. So Lord, just pray and ask all these in Your almighty name - AMEN!

05B11 Class Outing

2005-03-21T23:59:00.000+08:00

This is kinda irritating. I just cleared up things yesterday and today, round two. Whole new ball game le - *whine* - this is so not funny. But then again, haha, it is. Oh well... life's like that. I'm still sticking to my stand though. I'm getting super confused again. *whine whine* Why must it be like that?

Mmmmx.. J.Lai woke me up today. Washed up and made my way to Pasiris. I missed the first 53 bus and errrx, thought I was gonna be late le. Next bus came 15minutes later and guess what, they journey to Pasiris MRT only took 10minutes. So fast lorx! And I was too early. I just stood like a dummy outside the MRT station and watched the old man and old ladies walk into the station. Hahax. Stood there until about 1045h then saw this girl walking towards the Whitesands Shopping Centre. I was like: eh, quite adorable lei.. Then she came closer then realised was Michelle. Hahax. Look so different in home clothes lorx. Hehex. Yeahx. She's early too. So I wasn't alone. Said hi to her then went into shopping centre with her. Met up with Kaixin and Celeste who were already there. And I thought I was early. Walked around with the girls and chatted for a while then went Macs to seat down. Vanessa joined us shortly. Guess what, J.Lai was damn late. He came at 1230h lorx! Meeting time was 1130h. Stoopid idiot. Hahax. Somemore is he organize one. Blahx.

Yeahx. He finally came with Huihui and we set off to Downtown East. Blahx. Bus ride was fast but when we alighted, we realised that bike kiosk was super far away. So we walked under the hot sun and talked nonsense. So hot lorx! Grrrx... We were all dripping wet. Blahx. Then when we got to the bike kiosk right, all were closed! Wonderful man. Ended up at the playground fooling around for a while on the swings b4 going to the bus stop to take 403 back to Whitesand. I wanted to eat Swensen but all no money. Wadeva lorx. Went NTUC buy drinks then met up with J.Chua. Went Delifrance to eat after that. I ate something nice. Forgot what le. Reminded me of the meal I had with Beat at KK Hospital. Hahax. Whatever. Music kept on repeating too. Hehex.

Anyway, after eating, we went up to the arcarde. Thought there got pool but got conned la. Hahax. In the end, played parapara and DDR. Hahax. Super funny la. J.Lai topped the Parapara score chart lei! So girl lorx. Hahax. I cant believe him. Hehex. Borned girl.

J.Chua wanted go back DTE after that. Tofu and myself were against it cause very sian le. So yea, we convinced the whole group to go play pool. Michelle and Kaixin tagged along too. Hehex. So took MRT down to Tampanies and played lorx. The place damn crowded and so many bengs and lians there. Hahax. I lost all the single games except the last game with Celeste. Celeste is pro oki. I cant stand her. Hahax. I played doubles with Michelle too. Hahax. Her first time playing but well, picked up quite fast la. She sinked in three balls in a row to game for me. Not bad. Considering we were against Celeste and Kaixin. Hehex. I cleared table for her le so she got three balls left. Two stripes and one black. Then she cleared all. Hahax. Nice job girl! Hahax.

Went to eat dinner after that. Food was nice but Celeste and Kaixin ar... haix... nonsense la they two. Laughed too much and talked too much nonsense. Hehex. Sent Kaixin off to MRT station den walked Michelle to bus stop... I took bus back with Celeste. We slept in the bus cause tired.

Reached home at about 1845h. Although Michelle stays the other end of Singapore, she reached home same time as me. Her bus so fast! Hahax. I bathed den went online and chatted. Hehex. Posting gonna be out soon. Scared. But it's God's choice la. Mmmmx.. yeahx.

**************

Father, thanks for today. Had a really fun time of fellowship with my classmates. Pray for tomorrow's posting results. Pray that You'll just give me a choice that would be for Your cause. I commit it to You. Pray for all my friends too - grant them a heart of acceptance. Yeahx. Also wanna pray for 26th event. Let Michelle come ya? And Jingyun too. Prepare their hearts even now Father and let Your presence go forth to the santuary before we do. Also pray for my cell - give the kids wisdom and guide them in their school work. Help them and give them friends to support them through difficult times. Also pray for all their friends that they inviting. Let them come Lord - show them You exist. Yeahx. So I commit everything unto You. Let tomorrow be a great day. Be there for the ensemble even as we practice tmr. Yeahx. Pray all these in Your name - AMEN!

2005-03-20T22:35:00.000+08:00

It's finally over. I'm a little sad over the decision but well, I've been praying and this is what God wants so let it be. Hehex. Things happened very gradually and yea, it has to be God lorx. Service yesterday was on the topic... den at 0100h in the morning, had this sudden promting to ask jie about it - which I did. Got a lot of advice which was super benificial. This morning, had cell group and yea, we talked about it again. Zhengxian couldnt make it last minute so I found myself doing the word - I didn't plan properly but well, whatever I shared with the cell also was in line with it. Tofu also asked me about something about relationships when I came back home and although I gave him advice, I think whatever I told him was for my own application too. Then at night, everything was settled. That's God at work la.

Anyway... I didn't sleep today until about 0600h. I was asking jie about a lot of stuff until 0230h in the morning then realised that I havent repaired my flute yet. Got practice in the afternoon lorx. So no choice, stayed up and dismentaled the whole thing. Super dirty lorx - got dust in between the keys and the tarnish problem was getting real bad. Used silver cloth at last cause really no choice le. I spent almost 2hrs cleaning the whole thing. I even took out the Ab key to clean. I was terrible la. The oil was black on the inside and at the tip, was already turning yellowish black. Bad bad.... Used the anti-freeze oil to wash off the oil den use normal oil as finishing coat. Oiling took about 30minutes cause got some of the springs stuck. The Ab key took a lot of time to take out cause of it's irritating position. The screwdriver can never fit into that small gap one. Grrrx... But yea la, managed. The best part was when fixing back, I screwed in the Ab key le den realised that the G key like cannot fit in. Thought i fixed back wrongly so dismentaled the whole thing again.. waste my time lorx. Then realised that actually, i tried fixing the F-sharp key instead of the G key in. Wah lao. Then fix back again lorx. By the time everything done, 0530h le. But yea, the flute is in super condition now except the Eb key - that one cork missing so nothing i can do. *whine* Put bluetac to fix for now. Drank milo den packed bag for tmr. Supposed to meet uncle allan for breakfast at 0715h but yea, expected, overslept. Joshua Yee woke me up at 0739h so i decided not to go le... too late le la. Called jie to wake her up den yea, washed up and left house for cell. So, I slept about 2hrs only lorx. Nice horx? Hahax.

In church, met up with my kids - timothy, joel and andrew. We made our way to Daniel's house in Joo Seng for cell. We took a cab there - a dollar each. Hahax. Lazy walk la. Berty met us at Daniel's house cause he lives nearby. Keane was gonna be late so we socialised and talk nonsense first la. Hehex. Keane finally came and we played icebreakers.. Sadistic game but well... it was fun. The cell will know. =) Then worship... I played guitar quite successfully! Yeahx! I love jie's guitar la. Hehex. Although I was kinda like singing solo, I could really feel the presence of the Lord in the place. It was nice, quiet worship. I dunno about the whole cell but some of them were touched - just only never say. Can sense. Yeahx. Then moved on to word. BGR - fun topic. They kept talking about sex though. Whatever la - that's the fun part. Hahax. It was a meaningful and important lesson - I learnt from it too. Hehex. Cell ended and I went to play badminton with Daniel and Berty. I miss 05N11's badminton. My kids cant play la. Hahax.

Made my way to church for ensemble practice after that. Super sleepy le. Hehex. Made my way up to the santuary and warmed up. My playing seriously deproved le. Too long never practice. I suck at flute. Hahax. Both timothys were there and then charmaine and mavis came too. Yea... rehearsal was boring - crapped a lot with the two sisters though. Hahax. Yawnx. They two not playing for Easter le though. Haix. Now I short violins. This ensemble is tough to run. Blahx. Nevertheless, take up the challenge la. =)

Went home and slept for an hour before parents woke me up for dinner. They bought a lot of new toys for me - got two new mics (lousy ones though), a new computer stand, new plugs for all the recording equipment, new fan and errrx.. arm chair. Hahax. Not bad. Had to help set up though. Got quite irritated la. Hehex. Mummy kept spoiling what I fixed you see. Hahax. What to do? It's mummy and computers la. Anything hardware, she touch means spoil. Good thing i know how to fix. Hehex.

Yeahx. Then chatted online with friends. Tmr going for class outing. Pon school. Yeahx! 05B11 forever. And yea, made an important decision too. I'm staying single until 18 at least la kx? So means i'm single now. Hahax. *hint hint* But yea la... seriously. I'm just gonna enjoy life a make female friends now... after A'levels, then errrx, if ppl wan me den oki lorx. Hahax. Or if i wan ppl la... see how. Hahax. God's choice. Hehex.

Yeahx. So that's my day. I know God really exisits - it's not by chance that so many things happen together. It's Him at work and I give thanks for it. Hehex. Nitex world!

***********************

God, I know You're there and that You've really been so kind to me. Everything happened as it did cause of You - You wanted to bring everything across in such a way that I wouldnt be so affected by the decision. Thanks. Give praise for cell today too - it was fruitful. Guess giving from a filled inner being is much easier. With You, I can do all things la. Ensemble rehearsal was relatively fine - thanks for the time of fellowship that we had but at the same time, hope that You can bring us closer together in terms of musicality. We need to work on that for You. Help us Father. Pray for Beatrice too - mmmx, You know her la. I don't. Whatever's going on in her mind and life, I pray that You'll be there for her. As a brother in Christ to her, pray that I'll be there to support her if needed. Pray for the people around her that they will be there to guide her in thtough this time. I will always care and I know You would too. Be there for her Father. I'll hold You to that. Pray for Christopher's mum - she's sick or something. Bless her and heal her. Pray for samuel too - down with chicken poxs - let him rest well and recover soon. School reopening for many tmr too - just pray that You'll help each on of my friends. Pray for the 26th of march event - may Your presence go forth before us. Lives will be changed. Yeahx. Help Yang concentrate on his studies too - help me at the same time to cope with mine. JC life gonna be tough - i'm scared but with You, what's there to fear? You've provided and brought me so far so yea, it's all in Your hands now. Use me for Your perfect plans Lord. So yea... all these I pray and commit unto You. AMEN!

Teacher Seminar

2005-03-19T23:59:00.000+08:00

Slept till 1130h today and no, I am not proud of it. I'm getting lazy! Intended to practice guitar for 2hrs in the morning but the sleep demon took over. *whine* Nevertheless, I practiced for 30minutes. I didnt even wash up. Hehex. I just got off the bed, took the guitar and the cord book and played. Bad choice cause morning my fingers still tofu one. Skin tear. Jie's guitar is nice but errrx, painful. I sound much better on it. Hahax. Tomorrow shall attempt to play for cell's worship.

Parents came back at about 1230h and hurried me to get ready to go out. *yawn* Daddy quarrelled with grandma over the washing of clothes. Think grandma cried but whatever la. This time, I'm on daddy's side. She had to wash the colour clothes with the white ones lorx - den colour run. Spoil the expensive shirts lei. Then wash a few clothes, use water full tank. Haix. Deserve to be scolded. Told her SO many times le, still don't listen. Last month's water bill was terrible lorx. She kept shouting and shouting at daddy. Everybody ignored her. Lucky she never mention my name cause I was getting pissed. Say me only I sure retaliate one. Hehex.

Anyway, we all left the house ASAP cause couldn't stand her noise. Chatted about Yang in the car... we were going to pick him up from choir. Hahax. Yeahx. Talked about how he spends too much time on computer... Parents both ask me take care of him... the big brother nonsense la. Haix. I'm not gonna nag my brother but aiya, yang, if you're reading this... dun wan study also fake a bit can? And stop running around singapore without informing us? Very irritating lei. Hehex. Practice your maths a little more la - and your english too. Don't throw my face. Grrrx... Chinese, never mind. That one you do badly, mummy scold, I defend you. Hahax. Cause chinese suxs la. =)

Went to eat Prawn Mee after that. Prawn Mee without prawns. That stall a lot of rich ppl there de... All so errrx, high class.. though the place low class. Hahax. Food wasnt that fantastic but whatever la. Can eat can le. We rushed off for MOE talk on teaching career after that. At orchard hotel. The place super high class lorx - what's with us and high class places today. Mmmmx... went up to the seminar room and found a whole lot of ppl waiting to get in. MOE timing is bad. We waited lorx. All the uncles and auntys there one. Think me and yang were the youngest. Blahx. Was mummy who forced us to come - her fault. Hahax.

Yeahx. Finally, the doors opened and we all went in. Mummy had to grab the front seats. What nonsense. The MC was super mono and boring. Couldnt stand her. Yang slept. Hehex. Then had some professor to share with us some stuff. Boring again. The kept showing us videos and advertisements. What for huh? I watch TV u know - i see dunno how many times le. MOE is a screwed up system. Hahax. Then errrx, a teacher from northview secondary came to share with the whole hall on her teaching experience. Everybody laughed when she shared about her defiant and difficult students. Guess they all thought it was worst case senario. Wait till they go to catholic high. Blahx. And CHS is not the worst lorx. Hehex. Oh wellx.. me and yang belong to the system so we know. Hahax.

Then later the assistant director went up to present on NIE education system. That woman suxs big time. Her powerpoint slides, she lazy to present horx, den she go: "I dont think you all want/need to know this" then just skip pass. What nosnense. We come to hear den she dont say. MOE is screwed up. Q&A session was the worst man. It was a total insult to our intellegence. Got two foreginers horx.. came up ask question - nobody could understand them. I thought they were speaking malay or something - den actually is english. Haix. Cannot speak english properly wanna teach. Nonsense. Then got one singaporean horx.. that one i cannot stand. He hogged the mike asking stupid personal questions. He wants to go into NIE and then go overseas and teach. Hahax. You think NIE wan you ar? Must take note that NIE pay you to study de horx.. a good $2488 per month somemore. You run away u think they wan you? Damn dumb. And got 3-yr teaching bond somemore. He kept asking stupid question lorx. The whole ballroom was making noise le. Hehex. It was stupid la.

Went home to print cell material after that. Practice guitar a little too. Yeahx. Den after that went off to buy dinner for jie. She owes me $9 - must remember. Hahax. We'll just make it $10 lorx. Hahax.

I was tired when I went for service. And grumpy too. Kinda scolded Joshua cause he played errrx.. shall not comment. Lucky he never hear me cause he banging too loudly on the drums. Haix. Worship today was way below average. I'll just say it bluntly - it was more distracting than complimenting. I've been working with comptuer generated music for too long maybe - the perfect world. I was irritated during worship and couldn't concertrate. Den again, maybe it was just me. Haix

Sermon was oki. Very funny but yea... i think it spoke to me very clearly la. I will talk to some ppl about some stuff soon. Hehex. Must get my life sorted out before JC comes full force on me. Hehex. Yeahx... shall end off soon... tired. Need to prepare for cell... maybe i'm gonna talk to jie about stuff if she's still online after i bath... Toodles!

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Lord, thanks for today. Think You've really provided for me. Yeahx. You spoke to me through today's sermon and yuppie, I'm gonna respond. Whatever the outcome is, I commit it to You. Speak to the opposite party involved. Thanks. Also wanna commit tomorrow's cell meeting into Your hands. Need You to help cause touching on sensitive topic. Hahax. And yea, I think my life in that area also kinda not clear... so yea, please guide me tomorrow yea? And help xian too. Pray for Yang too - help him to study la. Slacked enough le - dun wan him learn from me last minute work. Pray for CHSSB and EBCC too... help them in SYF - gold again kx? But this time, let it be for Your name. Know You're working in the school so just show Your might. Mmmmx.. yeahx... I gotta bathe le so shall end off here. All these I commit unto You - AMEN!

Pool Again...

2005-03-17T11:59:00.000+08:00

Wireless LAN finally setted up. It's super convinient now - no more wires and I'm not affected when Yang restarts his computer! Wonderful. Hehex.

Mmmmx... clement see woke me up today - called me ask me go play pool. I'm gonna turn my handphone off before I sleep next time. Irritating. But yea, I agreed to meet him at 1300h at Toa Payoh. I lazily washed up and went to the laptop to check if got any urgent emails from church. Nothing there so yea, stuffed stuff into my back and off I went. Took 153 and reached Toa Payoh library too early. Was only 1215h lorx. And I thought I was gonna be late. Haix. I went into Macs to stone and eat branch. Was listening to MP3 so not so bad la. I tried calling clement 4 times but that idiot never pick up. Hahax. Oh wellx... So I waited and stoned.

Clement came with Sebastian at 1330h and yea, scolded him first den went to play pool. Hahax. Third day playing and guess what, I won clement in one game out of three. That's an achievement - considering how pro he is. Hehex. I shall practice more when I got chance to. I'm starting to like pool. Zhengxiong came to join us after that. We played doubles and he got kinda fustrauted cause Clement kept putting the cue ball in awkard positions. Hehex. I screwed up all the easy shots while playing doubles but difficult shots, suprisingly go in. Lucky me. Hahax. Met Joachim and some other CHS ppl there. Interesting. Small world la. Hehex.

We played for about 4hrs before going off for dinner. I ate steak. Hehex. We all ate and talked about our JCs and secondary school days. Hehex. Then talked about CHS's future and what we've contributed. Hahax. We're now ranked 7th. We swapped places with Cedar Girls... Not bad. And I just read a newspaper article of what Cedar's principal said about the new ranking system: "it's great. Now we stand a greater chance against the top schools." Hehex. Wonderful la - den propose exchange programs, reject us. Fine. We'll see. Drop to band two le la. St Nicholas also didn't fare as well. Hahax. We continued talking about Cedar and St Nicholas when this errrx, round round cedarian walked by us. Oppps... hahax. Okiex... think she heard us cause gave me that funny funny look. Then Zhengxiong told me that their principal scolded the shit out of the school for under performing. Oppps... Cedar is not the students fault la kx? It's the principal. Look at yourself in the mirror aunty! Hehex. SNGS I nothing to say though - CHS as little brothers la. Grrrx.. Kan xiao wo men. Lalala... So yea, we finished up and then scooted off to Popular. I did something quite bad when we went pass the cedarian which i shall not mention. Later get beaten up. Hahax. Sorry la kx.. my fault. Hehex.

Yeahx.... At Popular, we looked at CDs first. My nose started clogging up again so was like blowing and blowing. Browsed through some computer games too - Barbie, Barney... hahax.. all the nonsense la. We were laughing like no one's business. Lent Clement $10 to buy his CD then we went over to the books section. Hahax. Read baby story books - chinese ones. Yucks! I'm gonna wash my hands of chinese once I clear them in A'levels! I promise the world that. I hate chinese. Mmmmx... Went to read the kongfu manuels after that. Taiji is damn funny. You know how to master Iron Head? Haha.... this is wad the book said: wrap your head with towel and knock it against the wall 1000 times a day. What nonsense lorx. Hahax. Still got pictures. So funny. Laughed until wanna cry. Hehex. Yeahx. Spent some time where talking and laughing before making our respective ways home. Hehex.

Came home at about 1800h. Mummy was home le. For once, earlier than me. Hehex. Yeahx. Went upstairs and engrossed myself with the laptop. Chatted with Mr. Heng about CHS performance (again). Hehex. We're proud of what we achieved. It was Mr. Lee's motivation (what little of it that made sense and the demoralizing prelims), the teachers' hardwork and students' persistant that brought us up to what we are. And of course, God. Amen! Hehex. I'm going to do ensemble arrangements in a while. Tmr gotta conduct the session. Yeahx. Den errrx... morning got to babysit kids. Oh wellx.. I like kids anyway. Hehex. Nitex world!

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Father, once again, thank you for the day. As usual, it's been great with Your blessings. Amen! Mmmmx... just wanna commit the rest of the JE camp into Your hands. Just work within each of their lives - stir their hearts up for You - we want to see changed people emerging from the cmap because You will be there within them. Give You praise Father! Continue to pray for Beatrice and Germaine too... got issues they struggling with now la... help them. God, just help them - they need Your guidance - humble them down before You and teach them Father. As siblings in Christ too Lord, I pray that they'll come forward if they need help - I'm here and so are their closer friends. Use us to help them. Bless tomorrow's ensemble meeting too. Mmmx.. even though Charmaine might have something on, I pray that You'll just let her be there? But Father, it's Your choice - let her be where You want her to be but if possible, with the ensemble. Thanks in advance. Let us have a time of fellowship and bonding even as we arrange with songs for You tomorrow. 26th of March event drawing near le - be working in the hearts of every person coming Father. Stir our church ppl up and give the new comers open hearts. I know You're gonna do great things on that day but Lord, just more of You! Let Your glory fall! We want to see You high and lifte up, enthroned there on that day. Yes Lord.... Give me strength to lead cell this Sunday - let all my members come so that we can have a nice meeting. May You be the central focus of it though. Yeahx. Bless the time that I'll be having with the BB Kids tmr... give us fine weather and saftey too. So Lord, all these I ask for in Your almighty name. Thanks and I love You! AMEN!

Piano Day

2005-03-16T23:59:00.000+08:00

Today woke up really late again. Hehex. I'm becoming piggy. Hehex. The only aspect that I lag is the appitite of it. Mmmmx... told myself that gonna eat breakfast but then, decided that I was too lazy to go downstairs and buy. Searched the cardboards and got no maggie mee left so nothing to cook. Open the freezer and errrx, all the frozen stuff la - no pizza. The rest, all so troublesome to prepare so errrx, din eat. Then looked at the cornflakes. Oki - conflakes with milk then. So took out the packet of milk and reached across for the packet of corkflakes - it wasnt open. Lazy la. In the end, I just drank two full cups of milk for branch. Hehex.

Went to the piano after that and the fun began. First page of "So You Would Come" mastered. Yuppie! Then got sick of the song so tried playing other pieces and guess what, I learnt a new style of playing! Yeahz. Adapted the techniques that were used in "So You Would Come" to play the other songs - easy and shiok. Got new variation of "Still" too. Hehex. It's interesting how much the piano can do. =) Oh yea.. my guitar string snapped. Hehex. Wonderful! I thought was piano string at first cause it looked like sticking out from the piano sound board den was like, oh no... then later realised it was the guitar den went: finally snapped. Hahax. Now consider whether to buy new guitar or new strings. Dunno. I dont like classical guitar. Hehex.

Oki... so I spent my whole day at home, playing piano. I dunno how I managed to do it but yes, I spent my whole day in front of that black box lorx. Hehex. From errrx, about 1100h to 1900h, banging away on that thing with occasional toilet and water breaks. Mummy came back at around 2000h with dinner - I was famished and gobbled up the Korean rice set with the errrx, dunno beef or pork. Still having flu so cannot taste properly. Hahax. Went back to the piano to play a little more after that.

Mummy asked me go out with her buy things. I was bored and quite sick of the piano so go lorx. Went up and got changed then *poof* was downstairs and ready to go le. We went to KFC to buy cheese fries first - din know got 2 for 1 deal but whatever la, more to eat. Hehex. I ate on the way to NTUC. At NTUC, we did speed shopping. I like. Hehex. See what I like, just throw inside trolley. Now, that's what I call healthy shopping. Hahax. We spent like $100 in less than 20minutes. Not bad eh? Mummy said the things very heavy so call daddy ask him pick us up. Quite nonsense cause home was like only 1km away. Hahax. And the things weren't that heavy. Oh wellx...

Went home, bathed and then went to the computer at last. Wireless LAN is still giving a lot of problems. I've been going online and offline at random cause mummy and yang still trying to fix it. Haix. Irritating but well, xian ku hou tian la. At least I can run around with the laptop now and not get disconnected. Hehex. I'm gonna drink the Vodka I bought just now - my sleeping pill. =) Hahax. I miss alchol la. Oh wellx... I wont get drunk on one bottle. Hehex.... Oh yeahx! Jolene's back le! Missed her. Hahax. Class gathering soon ar... hehex...

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Father, thank you for the time that I've spent practicing piano today. Been a very fruitful 8hour session. Hahax. Thanks for Jolene's safe return too. Glad that she's back. Mmmmx... wanna pray for Germaine - as You heal her Father, wouldn't You just show Yourself more to her. Be with her Lord and help her in the areas where she needs strength in. Also wanna pray for Lynnette and all those going for the JE - prepare them to feel Your abundant love and Lord, let Your presence be so stong in their hearts there. Further down the road is the 26th march event - take it as my birthday wish ba - hehex - bless that event and let Your will be done. May all my MI classmates be present on that day to be touched by You. Know that You're gonna be there - STRONG. I pray against all distractions and problems that may arise - cast them all out in Jesus name. You are going to be Lord of that event and I give You praise for that. Continue to pray for Beatrice too - can tell that You're working already but yea, just more of You. You know her as Your child - You know her best and Lord, You will be there to help her. Help us as friends to be there by her side too when she needs us. Thank you Fahter. Pray for Donkey 2005 cell meeting this Sunday too. Will be holding it at Daniel's house - bless and prepare the place for the meeting. I want to run this cell with You as our main focus. Lord, help me and Zhengxian in this area. Mmmmx... Pray for Friday's ensemble session too - it's a challenging task to arrange the scores but since it's for You, we'll do whatever it takes. Help us to use the talents that You've given us. Guide us and be with us for without You, nothing would be possible. Finally, just wanna pray for myself - Lord, I know You've got some plans for my life. Reveal them to me Lord, slowly. I wanna serve You with all I have. I'm tired of this normal life - I want You to be in this life and working through it. I'm gonna guard my time with You and I pray that You'll help me. Send people to help me along with this. All I have is Yours - use me and mould me to what You want me to be. All these I pray in Your name - AMEN!

Revival

2005-03-16T01:15:00.000+08:00

Yeahx! Just came back from the 'overnight' prayer session and I feel great cause God was there. His presence was strong alright. Hahax. Each time someone prayed, the Lord gave me a verse from the bible to back it up. Now, that is the Holy Spirit at work. He has been doing so much for PLMC and after this session, I know that it's not the end. There are things to come - exciting things like the 26th of March event. God is gonna be there alright and lives will be transformed. I'm looking forward to it le. Yuppie! Jesus Encounter is gonna be great for the 20 participants too - we prayed and God heard. Now, it's in His hands - people, expect Him to be working in our church and its ministries. It's only the beginning... Hehex.

Anyway, my day started off very stoned. Wanted to wake up and do QT one but errrx, I got lazy again. Ended up practicing "So You Would Come" on the piano. I still can't play properly but heck la. Hahax. I'll get it soon... I hope. Hehex... Yang left house at about 1200h and I went back to sleep again cause not feeling well. Stupid flu lorx. Waste my day away.

Woke up at about 1430h and den, cause nothing to do, went to set up the new printer. Messed up my whole room but finally got it working. It's good. Hahax. Scanned in some Neoprints to test and yea, it's working perfectly fine. Computer table a little cramped now but whatever la. Hehex. Tried to pack my room after that and Jowell had to call say coming over to my house. I was like: "Anything lorx." Hahax. So he came and I packed. He played around with the recording system (what was left of it) and errrx, stoned. Hahax. Den we went to play pool. I won him in the first three games but den, the next 4 all lost to him. Oh wellx... I'm still a beginner. And guess who I saw there - Vanessa Chin. She's like only 14 horx? Hahax. Xiao Mei ar... naughty. Hahax. Oh wellx...

Ate dinner with Jowell after that den I rushed off to CGL training. Met Melissa (the organist) on the bus and chatted with her all the way to church. Hehez. Talked about how the Youth Service seems to be taking up too much of the Youths time - somehow, I do agree. Cell leading is already sapping my time. Ensemble coming up soon so yea, commit up. Dance is still more hardcore - wonder how they cope. But wellx, I've seen so many times how God actually provides for me no matter what so all my time is His. I'm just giving back what isn't mine. Hahax.

Daddy called me say sick, not going CGL training. Yeahx - i was all alone. Hahax. Sat beside Uncle Benjamin today and talked with him quite a bit. Uncle Andy was missing so Asher took over. Not suprisingly, he went OT. Dragged till 10pm lorx. I was getting real restless. Wanted to go for the prayer meeting. Hehex. But yea, learnt quite a bit la.

10pm came and I went over to room Jeruselum to pray. Upon entering, I really could feel the Lord's presence le. So beautiful lorx - long time no feel le. Hahax. I was spiritually dry for the whole month but when I knelt down there and Alvin came over to pray for me, I felt the Holy Spirit being revived within me. Amen! Yeahx. Uncle Allan shared a little with us on the purpose of praying and off we went again. I loved the time there. When I prayed, I prayed with all my heart. God was indeed working within that place. Lovely. Hehex. Bible verses came and they all matched the prayers. The Lord was speaking to us indeed. Great things are going to happen on the 26th of March - I know cause the Lord has spoken. We may not believe it but it's gonna happen. The prayer warriors are gonna pray and pray until it happens. Yuppie!

Thing ended at about 0015h. Din go overnight. Uncle Allan thought Kovan was near church so nv fetch me home. Blahx. I prayed for a bus. Quite impossible to get one at such a late hour but well, our God is a great God. I missed 80. I ran after 81 and missed it too cause Jowell called me ask me help him book room. Blahx. I thought had to walk back but something told me to stay at the bus stop and wait a while more - and den 82 came and it was home sweet home. Hahax. See, God's at work. Amen!

Wireless LAN is up for the laptop only. Now the other two computers are down. Oh wellx... hahax. Yang's problem. Pray hard that it'll all work soon. =)

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Father Lord, thank you so much for today. Thank you for Your presence while we were praying - I know You were there and listening to our cries for a revival amonst the Youths of PLMC. We know it's gonna happen cause You are our great and mighty God. Wanna commit both the JE and One Way events into Your hands. You are gonna be present and let Your love fill the place. Lives will be transformed by You. They are Your events Lord. Let Your annointing fall and prepare the hearts of our youths and their friends. I pray for my class, 05B11 - let one of our gatherings be on the 26th of march at PLMC. Reach out to those amongst the clique that have not known You. I trust that You will Father. Mmmmx... in Jesus name Father, I also wanna pray for Beatrice. Whatever confusion and problems that she may be facing now, I cast it away. We are the head and not the tail! Pray for Your wisdom fall upon her even as I'm typing this. In Jesus name, Holy Spirit fall! Amen. Pray for Donkey 2005 too - grant us all contrite hearts that long for You. This cell is new but Lord, I belive that it is gonna be a great cell one day. I thank you for entrusting Zhengxian and myself with their lives - help us both to do a good job in nuturing and guiding Your sheeps. Pray for my family too - all sick le. Pray for healing. Mmmmx... continue to pray for Germaine too Lord - dun really know how she is but I know that You've been looking after her - continue to do so yea? Finally, I ask that Lord, You'll help me with the Ensemble this Friday. I know that my talent and gift in music is not what you want of me but Lord, it's the heart of servanthood. Help me to humble myself down to serve and lead the Ensemble for You. We're gonna put up a beautiful performance for You on Good Friday and Easter and Lord, on behalf of the whole team, I ask that You be there to help us so that we can give You our best. Thank you Lord. Yeahx. Father, I've said this many times already but yes Lord, I love You with all my heart. I'm returning to that heart of worship and I'm gonna spend more time with You le - I've experienced that joy of having You with me and I dun wanna let go. Help me share this joy with all my peers too. All these I pray and ask for in You almighty name. AMEN!

Sick...

2005-03-13T23:59:00.000+08:00

Sick again. Down with a terrible flu. *sniff sniff* Morning was still oki but after Donkey 2005 cell, started feeling lousy and had a headache throughout. Oh well…
Uncle Allan sat in for Donkey 2005 cell today and Xian and myself didn’t prepare worship. *glupx* Den Berty was late too – guess Beatrice din wake him up - so reliant on his sister. Good think Uncle Allan never touch on late coming. *whew*

After cell, went to teach Timothy flute for a while. Oki - I'm really in no postion to teach anybody now. I havent been practicing and I cant play properly le. Timothy played "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" in F'major (of all keys) using my flute. He sounded weird - guess he needs to work on his articulation and tonal quality. Then again, who am I to comment. Fine, I shall shuddup. Good Friday and Easter is coming so I better buck up first. But I'm sick now so how to practice? Headache and a stuffed nose ain't gonna help. Haix.

Left for MSG cell at about 1050h. The weather was so warm! It only made my headache worst. I rushed to Paul's house cause thought late le. Reach den saw uncle allan exiting the lift - said he left something in church. Haix. Rushed for nothing. The stupid flu was acting up le so went upstairs, drank some fluid and rested.

Cell started late cause everybody was late. 1130h den start. Brandon led icebreakers - we played cards and I lost one round. Had to remember a long long bible verse. That so didn't help the headache. Haix. What to do? Cannot be spoilt sport. John 15:7-8. I still remember the verse now. Hahax. Then Amanda Lee took worship. Cute lorx. Reagen played guitar again - he accented all the E'minor cords to suan Joshua. Funny. =) Uncle Allan took word (duhx?) and talked about Spiritual dryness. I think I know what I'm suffering from le. Hahax. It's been some time since I really took time off to be with the Lord. Keep telling myself must make time but, somehow, never. Only one cure - make time! Hahax.

Cell ended at about 1300h. I was supposed to go for ensemble practice but felt super terrible le so called mummy say wanna go IT fair. Family picked me up at 1315h and we went home first. I took two Panadols and then, left the house for Suntec. I slept the whole ride through. Blahx.

When we reached, there was no carparks there. Daddy wanted to go home and that got me quite irritated. Went all the way there for nothing. Well, I prayed and guess what, on the route home, got this carpark attendant signalled daddy to turn into the hotel there to park. Now, that is God at work. Hahax. So yea, daddy did a very difficult parking and off we went. The place was super packed. We went straight for the printer cum scanner. S$300 - mummy just bought. Wahx... Den she went to buy ink and photo paper while yang and myself went to look at Graphic Cards. The G'Force cards all super pro one lorx. Hahax. But mummy din wan to buy so wad to do... hahax. Went to get our wireless LAN stuff after that. The salesmen were all Catholic High old boys! Cool right! Got additional service and free gifts from there as a result. Hahax. I like my school. Hehex. They were 4yrs my senior. See, our postion up to 7th le, must reward me. =) hahax... oki, i din contribute much but wadeva la - still my cohord. Hahax. Got a free MP3 player too! Now got two at home le. Yuppie.

Went to eat Chicken Rice at Queenstown after shopping. I paid for the meal cause the rest all no money. Wahx! Hahax. Home sweet home after that. Everybody slept cause all super tired. Hehex.... I woke up only at 2230h lorx. Sick ppl must rest la. Hahax.

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Father, thanks for today. I pray that even as the next day comes, You'll heal me and take away this nasty flu. Mmmx... also wanna pray for Donkey 2005 - cell outing next wk probally. Help myself, xian and Samuel to plan. Yeahx. Continue to pray for Beatirce - guide her and lead her. Be with Germaine too as she recovers. Help Daniel in his studies and errrx, give him strength. But on top all these Lord, help me to spend time with You. It's been some time and yea, going very dry le. I wanna go back to You Father. Help me and give me strength and wisdom to do so. Yeahx. All these I pray in Your name - AMEN!

Sonshine Kids

2005-03-12T23:59:00.000+08:00

Slept like a piggy. Slept until 1230h lorx. Hahax. My much needed rest la. =) Washed up and went to church for Sonshine kids outing after battling with the sleep demon.

Helped load stuff onto the bus at church den off we went. Chatted with Gen, Lynette and Wenshi for the whole bus ride. Hong Huat was in my group. Haix. I cant stand him. *glupx* Yeahx. We reached West Coast at about 1530h and then, unloaded everything. I went to help Samuel set up the spiderweb game. Tied the ribbions all over it. Hehex. Tied at some really hard to get postitions. I almost fell off twice but thank God that He was there la.

Went back to my group after that and brought them, along with Wenshi (my assistant leader) to the kite flying station. Hong Huat was quite ok then. Mmmmx.. after briefing, they flew the kites. I had a go at it too. So fun! Hahax. Hong Huat's kite flew so high lorx. Wow! Den later when time to pull the kites down, two got stuck. Hehex. Opppps.... Couldnt get them out so wadeva la.

Next station was spiderweb. Upon reaching, learnt that the previous team actually got all the ribbions! Wahx! So pro. My group didn't do as well. They missed 8 ribbions right on the top. They were scared la. Hahax. And I couldnt play. Grrrrx... hehex.

Moved on to sandcastle building game after that. Hong Huat was getting out of hand le. We built sandcastle, he down there destroying other ppl's one. Haix. Kenna minus 10points because of that. Oh well.... Our castle very tall lei. And nice too. Hahax. Den we went to wash hands - wash le horx, got some strangers giving out icecream to their own ppl. Then two of my kids ran over and take. So pai sei lei! Wahx.

Next station was tengram station. Crack brain one. Hahax. Hong Huat really pissed me off le - shouted profanities at me. Then still scold me. As if not enough, hit me somemore. Scolded the shit out of him. Guess I was damn fierce cause ya, he was totally speechless le. Den only just stick out his tongue. Wanted to hit him le but yea, controlled. I just pointed at his face like 1cm away. Tempted to scold more but his daddy was there. Grrrx.. I just called Aunty Caroline over to deal with him. Think he cried after that. Serves him right. I very long never scold until so shiok le. Hahax.

Foot Reflexology station is not relaxing! So painful! Run through those pokey stones! Ouch! But the kids horx, no feeling de. Just ran lorx! Wahx. Hahax. Got 100points for the station den went to the final one. Rachel hid ribbions all over the jungle walk and we were supposed to find it. Hehex. The kids did quite well although Wenshi and me found most of the ribbions. Hahax. Rachel so pro at hiding them. Hahax.

Said bye to the kids after that and went to eat dinner at Macs there. Chatted and had a nice time of fellowship before going to bus stop to flag a taxi. The sky was dark and soon, it began to rain. There were no taxis. We were all getting soaked. We prayed and sang songs unto the Lord however, we took a bus in the end cause the place had no taxis. Went to the interchange and got taxi there. The place was creepy though - so dark and had a creepy green glow. Gen was like freaking out. Hahax. Den in taxi, still scared her somemore. We thank God for the fast ride to church. The driver very friendly - said gen's laughter very cute. Hahax. Mmmmx... yeah... talked a lot of nonsense inside la. Nonsense man. Hahax.

Reached service at about 1830h - late! Hahax. Jia Ying was there waiting for me. So nice. Hahax. Went in with her and had Holy Communian. Timing good man. Hahax. After that, went over to sit with my cell. Borrowed Ying's Cedar jacket cause I was wet and freezing. Hehex. Jamie kept folding paper cranes for me. Dunno wad for. Hahax.

After service, went to meet Timothy and his junior, Fiona. Guess wad, Fiona's from Jie's cell! Hahax. And she very long nv go meeting le. Hahax. Jie ar... Anyway, Ensemble got new clarinetist le! Amen! Hahax. Spoke to her and yea, arranged day of audition. Yuppie! Went home after that. Bathed again and mmx, now computer. Aunty Mary, Aunty Linda, Jamie Jiejie and mummy all playing Majong upstairs now. Hahax. I wanna sleep soon. Tmr got cell. Hehex. Nitex!

*******************

Father, thank you for this day. It's been fun with the Sonshine Kids. Hope they all had fun too. Pray for the ensemble - just prepare us for the practices ahead. Also pray for our new member, Fiona - may she be commited to the ensemble and also, her cell group. Help jie to communicate better with her. Pray for myself too - might fall sick but Lord, I have faith that You'll be there. Tmr listening to the choir sing their Via Dolorosa too - help me be attentive and be able to arrange the score for the ensemble. Really need Your help on this one. Yeahx. Also pray for Xian tmr - let him be able to lead the cell - I'm gonna try to maintain discipline tmr so ya, help me a little here and there. Pray for Beatrice too - you know the areas in which she is struggling with now - be there to guide her Father. Yuppie. So all these I pray and commit unto You - AMEN!

Scary Day

2005-03-11T23:59:00.000+08:00

Today started of like any other typical school day. Little did the students of 05B11 know that it was to be a day that we were to remember forever...

Morning assembly in the school hall was boring (as usual). The Pre-U 1 cohord was extremely small thus, 05B11 started our plan to run out of school. We went back to class to meet Mr. Lam for the last time first though - the mission we were about to embark on was a risky one - there was no return. We handed him a 'thank you' card and den, went to the staff room to hand Joy Tan her card. Unfortunately, the oversized pregnant lady wasnt there. However, we met the chinese teacher there. We decided to write a card on the spot for her too. When we handed it to her, she was so touch and almost cried. Hahax. Den she told us something we would always remember (in chinese): "You all will make it to be successful ppl in the future." Wow! Hahax. We happily went around the school looking for Joy Tan after that. We found her eventually in class, teaching. Handed her the card den went back to our classroom to discuss the escape plan. We were going to break free from Prison MI. Hahax. We team comprised of J.Chua, J.Lai, Merissa, Jingyun, Samuel, Vanessa, Andrew, Eugene and myself. Charmaine was supposed to meet us at the escape point - Junction 8. Mission planning began and yea, soon we hatched our master plan. We went all out for it.

0900h, we called charmaine to arrange everything.
0915h, we set off from MI but as we approached the canteen, Mr. Singh (aka. turbantor) saw us. Thus, to avoid direct contact with him, we went into the canteen to stone for a while. We thought of splitting into two groups to divert attention but then, withdrew the plan. All for one, one for all. We all ran out of school together.
0925h, we were at the bus stop nearest to MI. We decided that it was not safe there thus, went over to the next bus stop and crossed the overhead bridge. There, we waited for the bus when suddenly, a Nissian came driving up to us. It was Turbanator! We were caught lorx! Haix. He stopped his car, winded down his window and sternly told us that he wanted to see all of us back in school at one. Die. No choice lorx - we made our way back. Merissa and Jingyun crossed the overhead bridge while the rest just walked.
As we closed into the construction side, a dust cloud emerged. Seizing the opportunity, we dashed into Maris Stella for cover. We made it. Turban didnt follow. We were trapped there though. Couldnt just walk into Maris cause Vanessa was with us. Mmmmx... So scary lorx. J.Chua wanted to go back to save Jingyun and Merissa but we stopped him. Vanessa was like breaking down. Yeahx. Den, we sent Andrew (in home clothes) to the bus stop to flag bus. Yeahx. The rest waited in Maris compounds for his signal. I SMSed Charmaine saying that we got caught.
0945h, bus came. Andrew signalled and we all went towards him. I went first and guess what, saw Turbanator and his car opposite the road. Shit! Hahax. We all backed off while Andrew boarded the bus to safety. Mmmmx.. Vanessa was like hyper ventilating le. With no choice left, J.Chua went up to the PE teacher at the Maris field and intelligently asked: "Where's the General Office?" He gave directions and we all charged into the school. We were all like super scared. Half way, we turned back and saw the Turbanator hot on our tails. We picked up pace and made it through Maris. We took our chances and tried to escape towards Cedar. Along the way, we saw many policemen but no Turbanator. *Whew* In the end, we made it to the bus stop. It was not over. Jingyun and Merissa were still back in school, hiding in the library. The rest of us were still exposed to threat - he must turn up anytime and anywhere. We wanted to take Taxi but none came along. In the end, 155 came and we dashed across the road to go Toa Payoh. Called Charmaine and Andrew to restate meeting point. Toa Payoh Macs.
1030h, we were all gathered at Macs cooling off. We were still quite frightened cause Turbanator could have tailed Andrew's bus 28 to Toa Payoh. Mmmmx... But nevertheless, we carried on with our operation to save Jingyun and Merissa. Hahax. The plan was as follows: J.Chua and Samuel would take a taxi back to MI front porch and pick the girls up before anyone notices. The rest are to call the office at 1115h and ask for Mr. Singh to distract him.
Yuppie. The plan was put into action after setting out watches to similar timings.
1120h, J.Lai called Chua. Mission successful. Hahax. Yeahx! The girls were out safely and on the way to J8 to meet us. Yuppie. We left Toa Payoh to meet them as a result.
1140h at J8, J.Chua told us wad happened: taxi reached and the girls got on. Den, our PE teacher saw them. Driver din wan to drive. Chua commanded: "DRIVE, JUST DRIVE" while Jingyun was going: "OH NO! OH SHIT. DRIVE DRIVE!" In the end, the driver shoke his head and drove off - mission successful. Hahax.

Yeahx. The whole thing was like a movie lorx. Damn scary kx? Hahax. We watched Boggieman after that - I din find the show scary at all. Yawnx. Chua kept screaming! Made the whole show a comedy lorx. His scream is funny. Hahax.

Went back after that and mmmx, stoned. Was really tired. Watched The Pianist and then, bathed and went to church for congregational meeting. Only Samuel was there. Was damn pissed cause the rest said they would come but not there. Uncle Allan could tell la - he came to encourage me and well, it worked. Thank God that after praying, Timothy and Keane came. Not so bad la. Mmmmx... Had icebreakers, worship den word. Hahax. Word was interesting. Yeahx. Had Pizza after that. Yummie. Ate three slices cause hungry. Everybody was dismissed after that den the CGLs all jammed! I played piano! So shiok lorx. Hahax. Played till 2200h den made my way home. Met this weird guy on my way back. He asked me a lot of questions about church so I ended up walking him back. In the end, found out he was jobless - he asked me for $2 and so I gave him lorx. Must put the church on alert for him though - might be another one of those tricksters. Hahax. If not, he might be a potential person to reach out to. Yuppie. Pray pray.

Went home, bathed again and went to sleep. Super tired le la. Hahax.

Skipping School

2005-03-10T22:30:00.000+08:00

Woke up at 0700h and remembered that I wasnt supposed to go to school today - and conviniently forgot to tell Katherine. Oppps... SMSed her but errrx, daddy decided to fetch her to school without me so errrx, oki lorx. Went back to sleep after that and woke up only at 1030h. Supposed to meet Merissa, Andrew, Jingyun, J.Lai and Eugene at 1100h but apparently, all were going to be late. Spent my morning whining away. Hehex.

Andrew eventually came at 1130h so I changed and went down to meet him. Wanted to play badminton but the courts all under renovation so didn't lorx. Haix. We went to buy bubble tea and Andrew got $6.50 worth of change in coins - so much for being a first customer of the day. Hahax. We went to Heartland Mall after that: wanted go Neoprints Shop to change the coins to notes but the stupid ppl there dun allow. Nonsense. Hahax. Den errrx, Merissa met up with us after that. Wanted to go to Video Ez to borrow VCD to watch but well, close. I started whining again. Hehex. Whining seems to be getting fun to me. =) Mmmmx... so in the end, just went over to my house to stone lorx. Watched the MI Orentation CD and burnt photos for Andrew and Merissa. We played Dai Di after that until Lai called said downstairs my house le. Hehex. I opened my window and threw paper ball at Huihui who was with him. Hahax. Den yeahx, dey came in and we all settled down to chiong bridge. J.Lai played CS and warcraft though. Hahax. Merissa kept winning! So sickening. Hahax. Mmmmx... Andrew din know how to play but he picked up real quickly. Yeahx. Jingyun din come cause she overslept. Hehex. Lazy piggy.

After that, Merissa had to go and so, we all left with her. Thought of going to Hougang CC to play badminton but den, J.Lai pang sei us to go play LAN with his friends. Stupid Lai. Hahax. So yea, in the end, Huihui, Andrew and myself went to bowl. Bought Macs ice-cream along the way to the ally. The ice-cream kept melting. Hahax. Lousy one. Yeahx. Den at the ally, we all blur blur one - dunno how to book lane. Hehex. In the end, played 6 games there lorx. $2.20 per game. First set was not very good. No strikes, no spares. Hahax. Den second set horx, more fun. =) I striked and spared like no ones business. Total score, well over a 100. Wee! Not bad - considering the fact that I very long nv play le. Mmmmx... went to play Pool after that! Hehex. My first time. Huihui and Eugene had a game first - den after that, we played three players. Huihui taught me how to play. Good teacher la - learnt very quickly. Den huihui had to leave to meet my seniors. Hahax. So yea, he left and left andrew with me. Hahax. Suprisingly, the games were all well played - won him in a few too. Played for a total of 2.5hrs. Hahax. Pool's fun! Won andrew in the last three games. Hehex. Not bad for a beginner. But yea, it was a close fight la. =) I like pool. Hahax.

Yeahx. Finished playing at about 2030h den went to eat dinner with him. KFC again. Hahax. Den sent andrew off to the bus stop and home I went. Bathed and went to the computer as usual. Tmr, I'm gonna go to school. Last day le. Hahax. Den after that, movie (maybe pool again) den congregation meeting in church. Gonna be a long day so yea, must rest soon. =)

**************

Lord, had loads of fun today. Thank you! Hahax. Just wanna pray for tmr's meeting - may You be the Lord of the whole event and may it run smoothly. Let all our cell members be there too so they can feel Your presence. Yuppie. Pray for the time of fellowship that my classmates and myself are gonna have tmr. Be there with us and may we have fun together. Pray for Jingyun and the rest too - 26th of March event - let them come. Mmmmx... continue to pray for Donkey 2005 and its two leaders - guide us and keep us from harm. Also watch over Germaine and my daddy. Yeahx. You know them best so just be with them. Yuppie. Help Daniel too - I'm incapable of answering all his questions so maybe can send someone along to guide him please? Finally, be with Jolene in London. Let her have fun and may journy mercies be with her as she travels about. Yeah. So Father, all these I pray in Your name - AMEN!

Messed Up

2005-03-09T22:50:00.000+08:00

I'm feeling weird again. I'm getting quite easily irritated and becoming super nonchalant about a lot of stuff. Cell Group is starting to tire me again. I'm being bombarded by all their prayer requests and mmmx, keep asking me for and about stuff. *whine* Maybe I should take a break from cell leading for a while. Haix.
Ensemble scores have yet to fully arrange and transpose. I'm loosing my passion for music! Argh! I get so damn fustrauted whenever I see all the stupid progressions and build up to change of keys. I shall not continue to elaborate - wonder how this piece is ever gonna be arranged - chim!
Nervous about posting results. Where will I be and can adapt ma? Will it be as fun as MI? Haix... Stressed for no reason now. Wad nonsense.
Daddy's health like got prob too. He said nothing wrong but errrx, dunno why, I dun think he's telling us everything. Haix. Worried. He went for check up today den slept at home instead of working or cleaning house. Den after dinner, he just went to sleep. Haix. Please be alright. He's not acting himself. Somemore keep on calling me and yang for fun. Confused.

Everything is piling up and I'm getting stressed again. I dun like it when I'm stressed. I get tempremental and aiya, the list goes on one. Mmmmx... and where are the ppl I called friends? Haix. Oki - I'm thinking too much. Guess I still have my classmates. Some others, I wonder vaguely wad's going on. Jie's also stressed up now so shouldnt bug her. Haix... Classmates and God now... fine. Where are the rest, I dunno. Finex.

Oki oki... stop complaining kai. Today was a nice day. Went to school as usual and yea, played around. Played Dai De for almost the whole day and skipped all the lessons. Wad to do with such a small class? We only attended history. At least Lam taught. GP teacher couldnt even be bothered to come. Bloody shit. Grrrrx.... Lam told us we could leave anytime if we wanted - just dun drag him in so yea, we left before 1330h lorx. Joy Tan was smiling throughout today so errrx, hope she wont mind us skipping HT Period. Mmmmx...

Went to Toa Payoh to makan. Ate at Pasta Mania. Quite nice. Chatted there again den went to library with Merissa, Jing Yun, Andrew and J.Lai. Read some nonsense books there on homosexuality and errrx, healthy relationships. Hehex. We hid at one corner and kept toking rubbish. Den suddenly, got one librarian popped up and told us not to block the passage way. Blahx. Hehex. Think she saw the books den I was like - orh, do project, do project. Hahax. Fun la.

Went to walk walk after that and found ourselves at macs. Bought ice-cream and ate. Sat and chat until bored. Den used my old SIM Card make prank calls. Hahax. Funny lorx. Triumph Bra international calling.... You have won a free cosmatic bra.. blahx. Who's idea was it ar? Jing Yun, urs right? Hahax. Was funny and we kept laughing. =) went home after that - tried to stay awake in the bus but yea, fell asleep. Got up on time for my stop luckily.

Reached home and to work I go. Ensemble pieces again. Mmmmx... Tired lorx. Stoned and worked more and den, stoned again. I'm getting stressed, depressed and lazy. Wonderful. What's up with me. Shall end off before I start bitiching again. Tmr I'm not going school! Skip tmr! I need a break! Grrrx...

******************

God, I'm totally burnt out. Life is screwed up lorx. Where are those closer friends huh? Haix. Father, give me strength and yea, just keep that flame within me burning. I'm kinda lost now but I know that You'll be there to guide me. Psalm 23. Now I know why it was released as word during CGL training. I'm trusting You Lord. Mmmmx... Pray for Daniel - help him to manage his time well and cope in RI. Pray that You'll just touch those who are falling away from You. Will not mention names here but yea, I think You know those I'm refering to. Pray for myself for strength to preservere and not revert to my old self. The old has gone and the new has come. I claim that promise. Help me Father. Mmmx... Continue to pray for Germaine. Spirit of Healing be with her. Guard my daddy too - let nothing be wrong. Let healing take place if needed Lord. Yeahx. All these I pray and commit unto You - AMEN!

Interesting Day

2005-03-08T23:59:00.000+08:00

Today's an interesting day. Hahax. Morning didn't feel like waking up - handphone alarm sounded at 0645h den I set it on snooze. 0653h, mummy walked into my room told me 0700h le. Den I was like: "Mmmmx.. my handphone alarm havent sound yet, dun bluff me." Hahax. In the end, just got out of bed and got ready for school. Hahax.

05B11 only got errrx, 7ppl come. Nonsense. And we're merging with 05B10! Argh! And we're using their stupid timetable. *whine* We lost our super long break for the day lorx. Oh wellx... Day started off in the auditorium - screwed up assembly as usual and errrx, we went to 05B10's classroom after that. We din know we supposed to meet Joy Tan in class first ma - she sent Agnes to hunt for us after that so we guai guai de go back. Hahax. She suprisingly, din scold - today good mood la. Hahax. She gave us a little lecture though on why we shouldn't break the school rules. The reasons are like so obvious lo! Hahax. Oh wellx.. it was GP next and we spent the lesson watching a funny movie. All the sexual scenes all slowly build up one - den suddenly anti-climax. Wad rubbish - but was funny la. Hehex.

Break was next - played cards in the canteen. Illegal but who cares - so bored. Hehex. Lit PE followed and it was fun. A quick warm up and it was badminton all the way. Hahax. I played with Heidi and Maggie. Haix - so pro! Kenna bullied lorx - they two school team players lorx. Lalala - i'll train and errrx, try to beat them one day. *million years maybe?* Smashed a nice shuttle into Merissa's face too - oppps... lucky no scar. Hehex.

Was chased off to Lit after the period ended - dun like B10's timetable la. Grrrx... Then lit horx, Christian told us was in the Auditorium - so we dumb dumb sit there and wait. No one was there lorx - Jing Yun played piano to entertain us. Then later, we sent Agnes to check where lesson was. She came back and told us is in AVA room, 3 floors up. Blahx. Stupid Christian. Hehex. Den yea lorx, climbed up the stairs and opened the AVA room door - den we saw numbers on the board. Blahx. Lit where got numbers one! Hahax. Wrong room! Den Agnes was still downstairs - so shouted at her, ask her where. Den she told us library! Which was on the 1st floor! Ahhh! Stupid girl - make me angry again. Hahax. Climbed back down and yea, had a chit-chat session with the teacher in the library. Talked about our future again. Interesting la. Hehex.

Period ended real fast and den, lit teacher told us we could go for break le cause no more lessons. 1240h so errrx, we just walked out of school la. Not supposed to leave until 1330h but wadeva la. Hahax. Went to Heartland Burger King to makan. Hehex. Andrew, Lai and myself were ordering food when Jing Yun suddenly started acting weird and den disappeared to the toilet with Merissa. I've gotta get used to being in a mixed school. Haix. Hahax. They went for a really long time so ya, the intellegent mind knows it all. Oh wellx.. interesting day right? When we finished eating den they came back and ordered their food. We all ate and chatted. 1300h all the way to 1615h was spent joking and talking lorx. Talked about horror movies, bra sizes... wet dreams (the girls had to ask.. grrrx...) and yea, list goes on. Hahax. Damn funny. We were like laughing like mad - Merissa cried laughing. Hahax. Andrew left us cause gotta go somewhere den we all went to shop for Eugene's present. Hehex. Funnie again. =) Details, tmr den know. Hehex.

I rushed off to church to meet Jospehine after that. Was late but whew, din get scolded. We chatted from 1645h - 1800h lorx. PL Ensemble will come up soon. Hehex. With God's help of course. Hahax. Den when she was done, uncle allan spoke to me for a while... until 1815h i think. Then I wanted go eat dinner le - walk out half way den realise Susanna in her office - tot of buying dinner for her if she wants so yea, turned back, knocked on her door and was invited in. Blahx. We chatted about the Ensemble again. Hahax. My responsibilities and recruitment thingy la. Hehex. Talked until 1900h den she gave me money to buy dinner. Packed back and ate in the office. Rushed and gobbled everything down by 1920h. Pro horx? Left the office and went to attend CGL training. Hehex. Blahx.

CGL Training was supposed to be nice but I was so tired. Kept yawning. Den Uncle Andy keep targetting at me. Hehex. Wadeva la - I'll stay awake next time. Hehex. Tuesday's a long day u see. Hahax.

Yeahx. Went back with daddy after that. Took a bath and prayed for daddy cause tmr he going check up. Yuppie. Just spoken to Charmaine about the new Ensemble - she's supportive! Yeahx! That's one. Hehex. Jia you Kai! Lalalala... commit to God la!

**********************

Dear God, thanks for the interesting day today. Had loads of fun. Thanks for the time of fellowship that Jingyun, J.Lai, Merissa, Andrew and myself had. Hehex. Wanna commit Eugene into Your hands - he's injured and resting at home. Look after him and heal him quickly. Watch over Germaine too and help her recover soon. Pray for Beat too - dunno wad's up with her again but ya, be there for her. Help Jie out with all her projects too. Mmmmx.. also need You to be present in my life - Cell grp leading is getting tiring - need Your love to refresh me again. Thank you Lord. Also pray that You'll aid the development of the PL Ensemble. It's gonna be tough but it's all for You Father. Help me and the team set up this ensemble. Pray for daddy too - look after him tmr even as he goes for the check up - may he be fine. So Father Lord, all these I commit unto Your - AMEN!

No School

2005-03-07T23:15:00.000+08:00

0530h, Mr. Lam SMSed me - "NO, there is no school today. Lessons will resume for Yr1s on tuesday."
*whine* So, I woke up so early for nothing - I was actually looking fwd to going to school lorx. Haix. SMSed some of my classmates but fell asleep in the process. Hahax. Opppps...

Handphone rang at about 0930h - Katherine called. Bluff me say got school - and not to mention, woke me up again. Haix. I was having a nice dream lorx. *whine* My home tutor tell me no school le - dun need trick me la. Hahax. Couldnt get back to sleep after that so went downstairs to play with the new recording system. Hehex. Recorded and mixed two new songs today. The harmony for "Still" still a bit off but I'll work on it. Think it's the timing la. No mood listen carefully in the morning.

Took a bath and went to church to meet Susanna. Supposed to meet at 1200h de but errrx, she SMSed me at 1215h say push back to 1230h. Stoned in church and talked to Aunty Choo Pheng lorx. Saw the little kindergarden kids there too - so cute! I wanna have kids! Hahax. Lalala - long way to go though. Mmmmx... den ya, Susanna finally came. Took the scores. Can't believe it lorx. So coincidience de! "Via Dolorosa" had to be the choir's choice piece! I hate that piece - it's chim! Talked about the arrangements over lunch. Also talked about recruiting for ensemble. Taking over this ministry is a challenge! Hahax. But well, if God calls me to it, He'll see me through it. Chiong ar! Hahax.
After lunch, went back to church. Used the Conference Room to practice - she played piano den I fooled around on the syn. Hahax. I cant play properly (but what's new la)... Hehex. In the end, we worked on the ending. Got a super nice arrangement out by trial and error. Hahax. Was fun la.

Went home after that - tired. Came back and no one was home. Grandmother went to play her Majong again. Blahx. So yea, stoned again. Played around with the computer and logged in some of the ensemble pieces. Sianx. Gen sent me virus! Auto accept one somemore. Haix. Good thing Yang know how to fix. Hahax. Yeahz - den after that, daddy came back. He went out again to buy dinner den yea, eat lorx. Hahax.

Went back to the computer after dinner and continued working on the scores. Vanessa called. Couldnt entertain her cause busy lorx. Sorrie mei. Mmmmx... now I get wad jiejie means by so many things to do but so little time. Hahax. Worked on the pieces for really long. Completed "Via Dolorosa" at least. Hehex.

Bathed again and errrrx, back to the computer on MSN. Never see Beatrice online today though.. wonder why. Hope she oki. Mmmmm... yeahx.. Yang's watching some nonsense show beside me now - wad "Stripperalla". Hahax. Sounds sick lorx. Hahax. Wadeva la.

I wanna go school tmr - i miss my classmates. =)

***********************

Father, thanks for the break that You've given me today. Had the rest that I needed. Thank you! Mmmmx, wanna pray for Daniel - he's stressed up again - Lord, just watch over him please? Give him the peace that he needs. Oh yea, Germaine's back home le - thanks for the speedy recovery. Pray for myself and Zhengxian too - the cell's getting tiring and yea, getting a little fed-up and impatient le. Lord, I apologise for the impatience but Lord, also wanna ask for strength to persist. Mmmmx.... Commit tmr into Your hands too - let school be fun and errrx, ya, asking Jingyun tmr too. Give her an open heart. Pray for the 26th event too.. and 11th of march. May You be the God of the events. So Lord, all these I thank you for and ask in Your mighty name - AMEN!

Church

2005-03-06T03:03:00.000+08:00

mmmmmx... it's like 2:30am in the morning. Gonna blog now while waiting for my cell materials to finish printing. Actually, Samuel's printing it but errrx, better stay up and make sure he remembers to finish printing it and pack it into his bag. Hahax.

Okiex, yesterday was a nice day. Woke up at 1000h and had macs for breakfast - daddy bought de. Eat finish den went down to Shimin's house for lunch - she looks prettier after she came back lei. Hahax. Super lady like now lorx... and she cooked for me! Wahx! Still cant believe she cooked. Hahax. Quite yummie somemore. Although just had breakfast, still could eat. Not bad. Thanks!

Mmmmx.. went home after that to stone. Played Command & Conquer - hahax. Came to realise too that I havent completed the whole game yet. Hahax. Oh wellx... since I was bored and the game seemed quite easy, was sadistic and set the game speed on extremely fast - enemy attack, no time react. It was fun. Anyhow play still can win the computer de. Hehex. Got tatic la. Hahax. As I grow older, I become more tatical. That I noticed. Blahx.

Left house at around 2:00pm to meet Beatrice at PS. Reached at around 2:40pm. Was early so went to Yamaha to walk walk. Flipped through the entire orchestra score for Magic Flute. See until wanna sleep. Then got this American couple damn funny... hehex... they wanted buy flute, den say want to try. Chose the S$2866 one... Bb joint - then wahx, fix everything up like so pro like that. There were quite a lot of band members there at that time, den all watching them at the corner of their eyes. We all thought the couple super pro one - they all talk like professionals lo. Asked for wad compressed alloy silver and errrx, silk based padding (wadeva that is). Then end up noobie den. Testing that time, blow only got air. Hahax. Yamaha also got new flute... S$6588 i think. Wanted to try so acted interested lorx. Got to play it in the end. Quite smooth la - this is the first Yamaha flute that I tried that is good. Think it's better than the S$12000 Yamaha one that I tried the last time. Hehex. When it comes to Yamaha, price doesnt matter. Must try de. Hehex. The tone was quite pure too - nice la. Saw the batons there too - very nice lei. I want! Hahax. I'm gonna buy one soon. Hehex. Hopefully la.

Went down to starhub there to wait in the end. Bought a little cute card on my way down. Beatrice came at 4pm. Grrrx... late ar. Hehex. Supposed to meet at 3:30pm de. Hahax. Oh wellx.. nvm la. Made our way to KK Hospital to visit Germaine. Bought a fruit basket for her. Split the cost. Yeahx. Germaine looks fine la - but kinda tired. Jamie, Yang and Gen were all there too. When we came, they chatted a while more den left for church le. Hahax. Jamie ar - nonsense again. Blahx. Yea - beat and myself stayed and chatted with her until about 5:30pm i think. Then went down to delifrance to eat. However you spell it la. Hehex. She paid for once. Hehex. Free meals for me all the way today - feel bad. Hehex.

Made our way back to church after that. Oh yea! That girl ar, was counting the number of ppl wearing green for the whole time i spent with her. *sobx* i hate green! Hahax. How many ar? 224 by the end of the day is it? Hahax. Wadeva. Reached church, suprisingly, early. Uncle Alvin was praying for pre-service... so yea, we went to be ushers. Hahax. *winks* Posing la. Hahax. Anything to escape. Lalala... Christmas at The Stadium band played for us today! Pro pro! Uncle Ian sounded so nice on the drums and errrx, the singing rocks! Sounds like Olinda! Yeahx! Enjoyed worship.

Sermon was quite oki this time. Donkey 2005 was a little too roudy though - Reagen scolded them - later gonna get scolded again. Blahx. Hehex. Oh wellx... Kids la. During alter call, Timothy Yeo responded! Amen! Gonna talk to him about it later. Mmmmmx! Thank God la....

Sent beat and berty to the bus stop after everything ended. Whole thing ended late agian lorx. Ended at like 10:10pm. Hope no parents complain. Went home, bathed and watched some stupid ghost show ! Hahax. Funnie lorx. I wan a friendly ghost friend. It's cool and fun lorx. Hehex. =) Later must gif beatrice wake up call at 0750h. Wonder how I'm gonna wake up. The world all sleeping le. Just chatted with Jolene online though - she's enjoying herself in London lorx. Wahx! I wanna go! Hahax. Stopped missing that someone le - now miss Jolene. Blahx. Looking fwd to monday - back to school. Hehex. Cedar Uniform this time. Hehex. Lalalala.... Toodles!

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Dear God, thanks for today.Give You glory and praise that Timothy has accepted You today as His personal Lord and Saviour. Hope You'll just continue guiding him - use me too Father, to show Him Your greatness. Pray for cell meeting later - 3am le and I'm still awake. Oppps.... Give me the mental power tmr to sustain throughout and also, let Your spirit of wisdom be upon me - I'll need it. Thanks for watching over Germaine too - help her recover quickly now ya? Pray for open hearts for cell tmr and mmmx, for Jingyun too. Monday passing her invitation le. Hehex. I know You're working le - let Your will be done Father. Yuppie. Gonna go to bed le - good night Lord. All these I pray and ask in Your name - AMEN!

Meeting Mr. Goh

2005-03-04T23:59:00.000+08:00

Mmmmx.. today was a fun and fruitful day.Morning woke up automatically at 0830h for nothing. Hehex. Tried going back to sleep but cannot lei. Hahax. In the end, just got up and took a quick morning bath. Dunno why i bathed in the morning - brain not working la. Then after that, changed and went to collect badminton rackets. Just nice when I reach the stall, it opened. So yea, produced reciept and took the rackets. Hahax. Then walked to the MRT station to wait for Jingyun and Jolene. The stupid J.Lai, SMS him at 1010h den he reply: "I'm in my bed! Sorry." Nonsense lorx. Hahax. Yeahx. Everybody was late and I was early. Hahax. That made me a stupid idiot who stood at the MRT station for 45minutes doing nothing. Hahax. Oh wellx...

Mmmmx... Jolene and Jingyun cause eventually then went to coffee shop to eat carrot cake. Treated them. Hahax. Jingyun eats a lot. Hehex. Then yea, J.Lai called say he at court le. Rubbish. Rushed to finish and then scooted off to meet him. At least he had the brains to set up the nets first. So yea, we just started hitting the shuttle around lorx. I dun like my rackets new tension. They all feel weird - especially my brother's racket. It's so damn light and fast now that I cant use it. Next time I play with him, I'm so dead. The racket is so quick now. Die le... hahax. Yea... Agnes and Tofu joined us in a while then played somemore lorx. I hit Jolene many times today. Sorry girl. Smashing is dangerous - always hit her one. I hit Jing in the chest once too... accident la - then she chase me around the courts. Hahax. J.Lai stopped her in the end, then she whined. Mmmmx... just walked over in the end let her hit - then she lift up racket to hit. Argh! Hehex. Hit where? Butt! Wahx... nonsense lei girl. Hahax. Fun fun. As the end time approached, I challenged J.Lai. He used Yang's racket. Then I made a super bad return shot - damn high ball. J.Lai all so prepared to smash - with Yang's speedy racket somemore... I tot die le... hahax... I stood back, preparing to try to save the shot. Then he jumped.. my racket already position to counter-smash. Then the drama kicked in. I heard the woosh of the racket. Then the shuttle landed on my racket nicely for the counter smash... J.Lai fell on the floor - I won that game - but the poor boy twisted his ankle. Hahax. Yang's racket too light le - cursed racket. Only Yang can use one. Hehex. Then wahx, he drama and act like so pain until Jolene and Jingying stopped playing to tend to him. Jolene was so damn nice to him. Blahx. Take out shoe and sock for him and help him massage his stinking foot. Hahax. I was poking his foot with the racket though. Being evil. Hehex. In the end, it looked quite serious so ya, gave Jolene and Jingyun money buy bandage and medication for him. They left in a hurry. Then yea, I played with Agnes and Tofu. Agnes ar, energy is too damn much - she's not pro but wah lao, u make her run, she can run oki. Hahax. I return her shots until very sianx.. den played smashing le lorx. Blahx. Hehex. Hit her a few times. =) Then J.Lai got tempted to play - he stood up, took his racket and ya, played. Wahx! Injured lorx! Fake! Hahax.

Jolene and Jingyun came back with bandage in a while - den he drama again. Hehex. Jolene was nice again... take ice and held it to his ankle. Wahx. Jolene ar... haix.. today supposed to celebrate ur b'dae den u like that. Hahax. J.Lai, remember this ar - hehex - i will not let u off. Hahax. Yeahx. Then played a while more then it started pouring. Blahx. Eugene came from Little India to join us. Merissa couldnt come. J.Chua was having auditions. Hahax. I went back early to bathe cause meeting Terrence Goh for tea. Walked under the cold cold rain. *gitters* Got really wet. Gerard had to call when I was walking under the rain - then pick up answer - phone got so wet until the speaker died. Opppps... hahax.

Got home in a while and bathed. Soaked lorx. Hahax. Quickly got dressed and suited up to counter the rain and off i went. Brought extra umbrella for Jolene - so sweet right? Hahax. Dropped it off for her on the way and went to bus stop wait for Gerard. In the end, he called say will be late - going home first. Rubbish. So i went back to badminton court lorx. J.Lai sprained his other ankle. Hahax. Wadeva. Jolene and Jingyun said wanted go my house bathe so errrx, oki lorx... Went up with them and let them use the toilets. Me kept disturbing Jingyun - you think I really wanna peep at you ar? Ouch... hahax... no way.. i was sitting in my room playing guitar la. Hehex. Jolene bathed quite fast and stole my hairdryer to blow hair. Hahax. I wanted to use it for myself one kx? Hehex. I used the fan instead lorx. Hahax. Jingyun took really long to bathe. Yawn. That's y i disturbed her. Hahax. Then come out le horx, still blow hair - take so long. Hahax. She looks scary in home clothes. Hahax. She left her sock in my grandmother's toilet too - good thing reminded her. Hehex. Yeahx. Then sent them to MRT station. Gave Jolene a hug before she left. Will miss her la... going to England. Haix. *hugx* Take care ya girl?

Gerard came shortly after then we took 107 to suntec. Took so long lorx. Hehex. Then reach le still must walk. Luckily he know the way. Hahax. I followed blindly. Then Clement called... say TG there le. Die lorx. Hahax. We ran... Ate at NYDC... chatted with TG about school and all. Hahax. Clement, Chenting, Jap, Sebreast, Gerard, me and TG. Hahax. Talked about our future and TG gave us advise.Then talked about secondary school... we'll miss it la. Haix. Talked about Kingston - Mr. Goh almost choked laughing lorx. So funny! Hehex. Wonder how that dog is doing now? Hahax. Still remember Mr. Heng asked him to jump out of the window. Hahax.Okie... I'm laughing typing this. Hahax. Comical! Hahax. Blahx. TG paid for our meal and then we went our seperate ways. Mmmmx... TG gave us his email addy b4 we left and yea, we'll email him. He'll always be my most respected form teacher la. He was really feared in the school days but now, we know it was all for us. How else did we all do so well in our O'levels. Thanks Mr. Goh! Hahax. Followed Clement, Chenting and Sebastian back. Took MRT. They rushed off to go friend's house make JAE application after that - I went home to sleep. Was super tired and my legs ached. Hehex. Yang was using computer so i slept lorx - on his bed again. Hahax. Lalalala....

Woke up for dinner and then ate lorx. *duhx* went online and chatted with vanessa, beatrice and classmates. Hahax. Shimin wasnt online so nv tok to her. SMSed me though - say tmr meet for breakfast. Hahax. Maybe lorx - she'll pay anyway... If I offer to pay, sure get scolded by her again. Hahax. Rich la. Hahax. Ask your daddy give me one of his cars can? Hahax. Will go with her tmr ka.. just this one time ar... hahax. since you no school and I no school and so long nv talk to you le... How was USA/England/Switzeland? Hahax. Tmr will find out - hope you din buy nonsense stuff for me ar. Hahax.

Mmmmx.. yeahx... daniel's asking me about computer hardware stuff - i feel like an idiot. Hahax. All dunno one. Hehex. Oh wellx.. God bless him la - poor kid, suffering in RI. Haix... Singapore's education system. Blahx.

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Dear Lord, thanks for today. Has been a fun and interesting day. I thank You for blessing the time that I've had with my MI classmates. Thanks for the time with Mr. Goh too - pray that You'll just guide hum in all he does - he still wants to buy his clarinet ar. Hehex. Mmmmx... thanks for watching over Germaine Meimei too. Op was a success. Just be with her throughout and pray for a speedy recovery. Thanks in advance. Pray also for Donkey 2005. This Sunday's cell meeting need a lot of planning and a little practice. Pray that You'll just guide me and zhengxian to lead them and also prepare their hearts. As for my JAE choices Lord, might be making some ammendments - pray that You will be able to use the new order to do Your works - wanna be in a comfortable environment whereby I can excel in - for You la. Hehex. Yeahx. Just pray for Saturday's trip to the hospital with Beatrice to be fine. Help everything to be in order. Pray for tmr too - bless the day and ya, help me enjoy all that's installed. Thanks again Father. All these I ask and pray for in Your almighty name - AMEN!

Childhood Days

2005-03-02T23:59:00.000+08:00

I finally get to sleep in! Hahax. Slept until almost 1300h today. Felt super shiok when I woke up - needed the rest la - after all the sleepless nights worrying. Yeahx. Mummy slept in later than me though - she on leave today cause want to accompany me: so nice right? Hahax.

Mmmmx... After washing up and making noise on the guitar, went out with daddy and mummy eat tim sum at Toa Payoh. That place brings back memories of OG1 outings. Hahax. Oh wellx... Ate and talked a lot la - very long never talk to my parents until so fun. Hehex. Talked about the pre-O'level days and other nonsense la. Was interesting. Lalala... I realise I miss my childhood - each day, more and more. Blahx. Oh wellx... I'm a better person now right? Hahax. Not so hot tempered as before. Thank God. =)

Went around Singapore in Daddy's car looking at the various JCs position. Oh yea.. daddy's on MC cause he went to see dentist yesterday - this kind also got MC. Daddy's scared of dentists - cool right? Hahax. But cannot suan him - mummy will scold and kill me if I do so. Hahax. AJC looks run-down but think it's quite nice. Hehex. Den errrx... NJC is far - that one dun need to say. ACJC is super far and I'm not gonna consider it le. SAJC distance is nice and building looks nice. Considering. Hahax.

Went to book badminton courts for tmr after that. Booking 6hrs worth of courts to hardcore. Hahax. My rackets better be re-tensioned by tomorrow. Hahax. Mmmmx.. den went home after that and realised no key. Parents were shopping so errrx, i walked around outside the house for a while. Shimin called me then. She's back in Singapore le. *glupx* She called from airport I think - number was private. Hahax. "Got miss me?" *cough* Hahax... oki la - a bit only. A bit ar. Hahax. I miss someone else more. Hahax. Talked to her and kept looking down from the 12th floor. Sucide seems quite fun. Hahax... Okiex.. i was sadistic at that time. Lalala. Parents came back in time b4 I tried jumping. Hehex... oki oki.. joking.. never will i jump. Waste my life. Hahax.

Mmmmx... parents came back soon and yea, opened the door. *duhx* Went upstairs to stone - played computer and chatted online. Practiced guitar a little more too. I still hate guitar but wadeva la - for God and for my cell. Hahax. Did some of my course work too - it's super sianx and I'm getting no where with it - wadeva. Cause I was very bored right, I ate like 24 Ferrarocheis (however u spell it)... hahax... spoiling myself la. Still got a lot more though. Hahax. Eat more later.

Dinner was quite nice - ate a lot of rice. Hahax. Then after that, I went back to my childhood days. Hehex. Brought some of my little toys into the toilet to wash them la. All the micro machines thingy. Very dusty la - den ended up playing with them. Hahax. There's still that kid inside me. Hehex. Very fun lei - and I still like micro machines - so cute and cool. Hahax. Baby Kai... lalala...

After the long bath, practiced guitar again - then cause nail soft after bathing, chipped a bit. Grrrx... now shape not nice le... hahax. I sound girl now... Ah! I broke my nail! Hahax. Errrx... waited for yang to finish using computer - den tried... i repeat, tried, to apply for JAE. The thing is so damn bloody laggy lorx. Keep lagging - then samuel had to call on top of that. Stupid kid - always call wrong time one. Ask me about blog music again. Super vexed le then bug me somemore - got scolded lorx. Hahax. Kept retrying on the JAE page. Pissed. I'm calling MOE tmr to complain. So rubbish lorx. 2hrs to fully apply and pay online. Hahax. NJC, AJC, SAJC, NYJC, MJC, CJC, SRJC. Yeahx. It's up to God now.

Talked to beatrice for a while online... den yea, MI classmates. Tmr class outing. Germaine's going for operation tmr too. Scared. Hope all will be fine - by God's grace la. Yawnx. Rackets better be re-tensioned. Hahax. Nitex world!

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Hey God... Thanks for today. Had a nice time sleeping. Hahax. Ummmx.. thanks for the time with my parents too - was fruitful. Wanna pray for Germaine Father - tmr her operation le - pray that You'll just watch over her. Guide the docters and give her the courage to face everything le. Be with her and let her know that You're there by her side. Commit her unto You. Pray for the JAE too Lord - it's really Your choice le la - I'm very contented with my points le - let You do the rest le. May You be glorified through the JC choice. Yeahx. Also wanna commit Donkey 2005 into Your hands. This cell is still young so Lord, I just pray You'll help me to deal with them. Hope that You'll be there by their sides too. Help myself and Zhengxuan to lead them. Also pray for Eugene - he's disappointed with his results - be there to comfort Him. Let Your love fill Him again as You reveal Your plan to Him. Bless the time of fellowship that 05B11 will be having tmr. And also bless the time that 4-10 will be spending with Mr. Goh. Help me to meet chenting and the rest on time. Hehex. Yeahx.. Just recommit everything unto You. Thanks for everything. I love You Father! Amen!

Results...

2005-02-28T23:59:00.000+08:00

Finally, after three long months of painful waiting, results were announced. I did better than I expected but mmmx, didnt get what I aimmed for at the start of the year. Not really disappointed or anything la - just blur on what I should do with my life now. Which Junior College to go to ar? Hahax. Thinking of appealing into NJC but know it's quite hard to get in. AJC cannot biased towards arts so errr, even though hit their cut off, dun think should go there. ACJC very business-minded: is that good or bad? Hit their cut off too and dunno if should go there. Then got SAJC - MI classmates going there with points around mine - but got people tell me the teachers there a bit the weird weird de so ya, consider. Okiex, I dunno where to go now. Hahax. Wonderful.

Anyway, day started off with my handphone alarm ringing cause I forgot to turn it off. Hehex. Din go back to MI today cause no mood. Went out for movie with Jeffrey, Shaoxian, Chenting and Jap. Watched errrx, forgot the cartoon's name le. Quite nice la. We rushed back to school after that cause we were all receiving good news via SMS. CHS did quite well this year. Amen! Yeahx. Got back shortly and saw a whole bunch of secondary 4s waiting at the canteen. Heard my class got 87% distinction for sciences. Then got 57% distinction for english in the whole school. Ummmx... art 100% distinctions, music 85% distinctions. Yeahx... good news. And it made me more scared - later dun fall in the distinction area ar, so pai sei. Haix. Was worried la but classmates were all so hyper so the fear went away. We had fun catching up and toking nonsense. Hahax. Clement See is taller than me le - oh no! Hahax. I'm short. Lalala...

Minutes passed like hours, hours like days. 1400h took too long a time to come but there we were, all sitted in the school hall, awaiting the results. Mr. Lee Hak Boon came up to talk to us first - I kinda missed him lei. Hahax. Told us the school performed well, breaking last year's record of 11.1 for MSG. We got 10.4 like that I think. Not bad. He kept telling us about how well everybody did in every subject. That made things even more scary cause was super afraid that I'll lend up in the catagoty where by the minority existed. Time went by, words echoed within that little head of mine then, it came. Edwin went up first - gabriel peeked and yea, 13pointer he was. He was oki with it cause planning go Poly anyway. Then was me. So scary lorx - I tot Mr. Wang was gonna tok to me b4 showing me the results but yea, he just chucked it at me - thankfully. I din even get to see the grades den he told me got 12points. *whew* At that point, was happy la. Went hopping about. Mum and Dad were both at the back of the hall - despite me telling them not to come. Hahax. Wadeva la - hugged mummy - she almost cried. Wonder why? Hahax.

Went around thanking teachers, especially Leong. Both mathematics, distincitions, thanks to that Panda bear. Hahax. English, din let Edwin Heng and the school down. Got my A1. Thank God! The rest, yea, was generally oki - except the stupid combine humanities: B3. Oh wellx... It's over and yea, din do that badly. Then walked to J8 with Justin Jap - we talked about JC-admissions. Then I realised I was neither here nor there. Close to entering NJC but appealing quite useless de. Then AJC not really advisiable - cause art students despised there. SAJC is where most of the MI ppl who scored well are going - but Jap told me the teachers there nonsense de. Mmmx... ACJC - no comments on it - just that a little business minded only - which i dun mind. See how ba. Commiting all to God again. Pray pray...

Went to buy coffee bean after that den daddy fetched me back home to rest. Hahax. Went to read up a bit on the JCs... ACJC, AJC and SAJC all meet cut-off point. NJC is 7 points indeed so errrx, hahax, wait long long lorx. Agnes called and yea, we talked quite a bit. Ear pain. Grrrx... guess I'm oki with her le. Not that pissed le. Yuppie.

Stoned until time to go for dinner. Went to this restruant in Suntec - food was exceptionally nice. Yang came along too. Jiejie din wan to come though - spoilt sport. Hahax. Lalala. Yeahx. Den eat and eat den go home lorx. Nothing nice to see there de. Hehex. Went home, bathed and back to computer. Talked to different ppl ask for opinion but yea, to no avail. Tmr think gonna call all the da gege and jiejie ask le. Really dunno where to go le. Neither here, nor there. Mmmmx... And I'll make sure I get into SAJC at least to prove someone wrong. Grrrx... Full of nonsense lorx. Never suan you le still come disturb le - I got limit de horx. Blahx. Aiya.. no matter where I go, may God be glorified through it all la.

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Father, thank you so much for what You've done. I give thanks toYou for the results. May it be pleasing to You and let it glorify Your name. Lord, even as I take the next few days to decide on which JC to go to, I pray that You'll guide me. I want You to lead the way le - no more self-centred life. All is for You now. Also wanna commit Jing Yun, Lin and Ting into Your hands once again. 26th of March event - may they accept the invitation to come. Mmmmx... Donkey 2005 too - watch over the kids. Aid them in their studies and lives. Pray Germaine - operation coming le. Guard her and just work in her life Lord. A huge burdern is gone le - now new challenges awaits but Lord, I know You'll be there. My life is at Your dispoal - I know You want the best of me so yea, just work ba. All these I pray in Your almighty name - AMEN and thanks for everything.

2005-02-27T23:20:00.000+08:00

It's almost here - the time where I'll know my results. Haix - I dunno whether I nervous or scared - I just dun feel my usual self. Hope can at least get into a JC la. Mmmmmx... but well, no matter what, may God's plan be put in place la. *glupx*

Mmmmx.. Just re-wrote the song for 05B11 cause daddy threw away my main draft and the two back-up ones. Was super pissed lorx - and almost cried out of fustraution and anger. Thankfully, mummy was there to cool me down. Blahx. I shall not revert to my old hot tempered self anymore. Hehex. Yeahx - thankfully, could recall a bit of the cordings - the melody changed a little from the original one le but well, still oki la.

Okie okie - now to my day. Day started of with Donkey 2005 cell. Today, 80% of them were late however, never fine again. Oppps... hahax. However, on the bright side, we got one new cell member! Amen! Timothy Yeo - he also is in my ensemble. Hahax. Not bad right? Cell meeting itself was super roudy. Dunno why these few cell meeting so naughty. Oh wellx... I'm gonna pray about it. Grrrx... Let God do the work.

After that, went for MSG cell meeting. Was fun - we walked about disipline again. Hahax. Worship was nice - icebreakers was story telling - me kept telling nonsense story de. Hehex. Errrx... den we prayed for the 26th march event. Prayed for O'level results too. Hahax.

Cell ended at 1:15pm - PIC-CGL meeting was to start at 1:30pm. Hehex. I rushed back with uncle allan - half way right, he say cannot make it le. So he flagged a cab and paid S$2.70 to go back to church. Hahax. Waste money lorx. Hehex. Meeting was quite on - talked about a lot of stuff - for cell leaders to know only so.. *zip* hahax. Jiejie din come - lazy girl. Hahax.

Thingy ended at about 4pm. Went to jam with melinda, alvin and some other drummers for a while after that den went to play captain's ball until 5:30pm b4 going back. Got back, ate dinner, recompose song.. stoned... aiya.. u get the drift.

Now i no mood blog le - the time is coming. Haix... God, please help me.

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Lord, today entry is short cause yea, scared of tmr's result. Lord, I just wanna commit it unto You - whatever the results may be, Lord, just help me accept and let Your will be done. I pray that I'll be able to make it, at least, into a JC. Mmmmx... Lord, I'll trust You in this. Also, wanna pray for Donkey 2005 - getting playful le - Lord, just work within their lives so that Lord, they'll know when to be serious. Speak to each of them. Pray for Beat too - watch over her. Miss her. Hahax. Haix.. pray for the three ppl that I'll be asking to come on the 26th of March - let them come and be touched. Father, I just recommit my live to you - all these I pray in Your name - AMEN!

Last Day

2005-02-25T23:59:00.000+08:00

Sing me the song that would bring me back..
All the memories that we've had.
The times we've shared together,
Let those moments rest in our hearts.

I know it's hard to let go,
But still, we've gotta do so.
I'll miss everyone,
Of You

Haix. That's the chorus of a song I just composed for 05B11. I cried twice today - once in the bus on the way home and ya, second time when i frist composed and sang the song above. I'm depressed again cause 05B11 had our last day together today. *sobx* I cried not just because of sadness but also due to fear - O'level results released on Monday. Haix. I really very afraid that cannot make it to JC. Really dunno wad to do if I get above 20pts. I know I should not really bother cause now it's really up to God but errrx, I just cant help it. I'm getting emotional again. Damn! I'm missing my clique le. And I still freaking miss Beatrice - wonder how's she at camp. Haix.

Day started off nicely with double chinese. Teacher allowed us to take photos and that's wad we did. Used my camera until the screen can appear: "Warning! Hot!" Wad nonsense lorx. Den had to let it rest for a while. Hehex. We take photos and had fun until ate into our third period break. Wadeva la. It was fun can le. Then after that we went for double history period in computer lab. Mr. Lam allowed us to surf net cause he teach finish le - den I got back my history essay. I got an "A". Not bad eh! Hahax. Thank God la. Yeahx. Then took class photo then my clique went down to heartland to makan. Mr. Lam joined us - actually wanted to take his car de, but full. Den Jolene din wan to take cause say cramp - so yea, walked with her to catch up with the rest who were already at the bus stop. We met Vanessa on the way to the bus stop - they hugged and cried... haix.. I almost cried kx.. so sad... oh wellx...

Yeahx. Reached heartland and joined Lam and the rest who were already there. They ate at the coffee shop while I went home to change and makan. Mmmmx.. .met up with them again and went to buy shuttlecock.. den Lam left us... cause his leg injured, cannot play badminton. Well, game was still on la. We started 30minutes early cause no one using court. We played like mad lorx - really sweated it all out. Friendly game la - though i got a little fustrauted with challenging Jeremy Chua. Hahax. Kept scolding me when ever I fake shots and win the game. Blahx. Den ya, we ended off by counting score. Jeremy Chua was my partner - and expert self-killer. Hahax. His service, he always surf to the net on. 5 times oki! Wah laox.. oh wellx... we still won in the end so wadeva la. We all improved a lot since we first played. Chua not say that noobie le. Hahax. Lai, Feng Yang and me all more sercure le. Yeahx. Merissa and Jolene as usual, fast and agile. Jing Yun - errrx... oki la... hahax. I hit her in the chest once with a smash - was fustrauted la - sorrie. Yeahx. We played from 1:30pm - 4:30pm lorx. Den after that ppl take over. We went outside the court stoned a while - I played guitar. Yes, I learnt a new song today. Hahax. I'm improving... but still noobie. Grrrx... will practice man! Argh!

Mmmx... the clique went over to my house to stone after that. Both Jeremys bathed there. Hahax. Then we played piano, flute, dizi, drums, electone, voice... errrx.. recorder... trombone - aiya... we used all the instruments in my house can le - including the guitar. Hahax. Mmmx.. den later got tired of playing and singing - so we played bridge. Merissa blessed with beginners luck. Kept winning. Hahax. But horx, Jeremy Chua and myself did a flawless victory u know. Bidded 6 no charms... and we won the damn game with 12 sets! Not bad right? Hahax. We were like jumping for joy lorx. Hahax. Mmmmx... den yea, after that went to coffee shop downstairs to eat. By then was like 7:30pm le.

Mmmmx.. we ordered our food.. den it was all so beautiful - we linked hands, bowed our heads and prayed. Jolene led us. Haix. It was symbollic and I'll always remember that moment. Haix. I'll miss all of them lorx - Jeremy Chua, Jeremy Lai, Merissa, Jolene, Eugene and Jing Yun. I'll miss the rest too la. Haix. We ate and chatted. Jeremy Chua and Jing Yun cried at one pt. Then after that, we were talking nonsense la - wad shopping and bra nonsense. Hahax. Weee! Eugene was quite amused. Hehex. Mmmx... Jeremy Lai had to leave for church b4 us so ya, we let him go. Jolene left with him. She gave me a hug before she left... haix.. told myself cannot cry. Hahax. The warmth of the embrace - yeahx.. feels like mummy's - i'll miss Jolene a lot. Oh wellx...

The rest of us chatted somemore until almost 9pm. Then we walked to Kovan MRT. I sent Merissa to her bus stop and waited with her until her 101 came. Bid farewell and ya, there it is. Haix. I'll miss her too. Then crossed over the road and saw Eugene & Jing Yun still there. We talked a bit - Jing Yun cried again. I controlled again lorx. Then yea, their bus came and it was goodbye. Haix. My 113 came behind their 107 so yeahx, i jumped on board. I sat at a dark corner. I looked out of the window and dunno y, i cried. Got water drop on my wrist - den i tot wad. Then later den realised i crying. Haix. That's how much I'll miss them - and how worried I am about the o lvl results. Haix. I feel like crying now - listening to "You Light Up My Life" now. Haix. Indeed, they've really lighted up my life in MI - they're the ones that made the place alive. Haix... I'll really miss all of you!

Errrx.. I jogged back from the bus stop and got home - depressed. Yang using computer as usual. Told him i let him use a while longer. Mmmmx... den I went to TRY to compose song. But couldnt la - I was just so depressed and worried. Too sad la - I've never felt so terrible since the accidient in Malaysia - this time, not as bad la.. but only a little better - helpless and super worried. And I'm missing all the people! *sobx* I gotta stop typing le - I'm really gonna break down again. Haix.

**************

Lord, I feel really really lost again. I'm missing all my friends so much and I'm also extremely worried over my results. God, please lessen my burderns. I'm so scared. Please Lord, help me and all my fellow classmates through this tough period of time. Mmmmx... wanna pray for my cell member, Daniel - Lord, he's still sick however, I know that You're gonna be healing him real soon. Let us see Your power at work - heal him. Thank you Father God. I pray for Germaine and Jamie too - havent patch up yet - I pray that You'll do something about it. I know You will - let Your will be done la. Pray for Beatrice and Jia Ying again too - watch over them in camp. Help them to be there for each other and guard their saftey and time with You. Lord, I really wanna honour You with all I am - for Good Friday and Easter, help me co-ordinate the ensemble - now still messy. Mmmmx... haix - I really dunno wads going on with my life now but I pray that it'll get back on path soon - I need You Father - please help me through this worrying and difficult time - all these I pray in Your most precious almighty name - AMEN!

Haix.

2005-02-23T23:12:00.000+08:00

Felt quite refreshed when I woke up today. Had enough sleep at last. Hahax. Mmmmx... day started off with econs tutorial. Stupid teacher had to tok about O'level results. Haix. Depressed again. Just shut up about it will you? Haix.... Had a break to cool down after that. Then it was chinese. Hehex. Lisa popped by to play with Tackie the turtle. She thought it was battery operated lorx. Hahax. Funny. Oki, not her fault - our chinese teacher thought so too. She even spinned it on the floor until we managed to convince her. Hahax. Nonsense man. But well, chinese teacher was nice - class only got 9 ppl so she allowed us to go play. Hehex. The rest all at Sentosa, East Coast Park or the Zoo. Hahax. I was guai enough to go to school. Blahx.

Mmmx.. yea, so Merrisa, Jolene, Charmaine, Jing Yun and myself went to the library. We borrowed some games to play there. Hehex. Met Lisa there again. I played chinese chess with her - ate her botak - oki, it was her first time playing - so i was bad. lalala. Jolene won me though. Mmmx... then we skipped econs lecture - Wendy Ng walked right pass us. Hehex. We spent the time giving each other massages - back aches cause of hardcore exercising yesterday la. Hehex. Jolene's ticklish. Hehex. She likes massage but errrx, must control not to scream - especially lower back. Hahax. I had to becareful not to hit the bra strips when massaging. Hehex. Wadeva... lalala. hahax.

Went for Lam's lesson after that. Wahx. History test. But since class small, we managed to get 45minutes to study first - den had the test. I found it quite oki la. We typed out our answers. Hahax. 1050 words for me man! Yeahx! So pro right. Hahax. Hope can do well. Hehex. We rushed off for principal's talk on the JAE nonsense. She talked about O'level results again - depressing! Grrrx.. then she played "I Hope You'll Dance" for us to hear. I dunno y but when the song started, I felt sad - almost cried but I din. Hehex. *whew* I'll be so sad to leave all my friends behind. Haix.

After the bell rang, I ran off the Katherine. Supposed to play badminton with her. I passed her money and the CC card to book court. I lazy go. Hehex. I went home first to makan then took my stuff and went to the court. I trained a while first - my shots all accurate le, but still not enough power. Haix - I'll train. Hmmmx.. Kat came eventually and we played. Slow game la. Not tiring. Hahax. Then after that, cause opposite court got other players, we challenged them to doubles. They older than us by like 5 - 8 years but well, we owned them. Hahax. Was a good game la. Went home after that, talked to Jamie for a while then went to bathe. Came out, played CS a while then computer le. I'm gonna be doing my GP project in a while le. Spent the last few hours settle church ensemble admin stuff. Hehex. Time to work.

Haix. I still miss beatrice. Wads wrong with me. Grrrx... Time to work to forget it all! Argh! Tmr take MP3 at last. Hehex. Nitex in advance world!

***********************

God, the wait's really scary. Haix. I'm still scared. Pray that You'll just take away this fear and give me rest. Mmmmx... also pray for Beatrice - she's at camp. Look after her and Jia Ying please. Errrx.. haix... very troubled now la - dunno wad to say. Sorry. Just help me guard my time with You. It's not been all so smooth but ya, I jsut pray for strength. Gonna do GP now - very sian le though. Just help me - give me the will to work. Pray for Daniel too - thanks for healing him but Father, he's gonna have english test tmr - help him through it. Pray that you'll help him cope in the stressful environment that he's in too - help him to shine for you too and bring ppl to know you. Pray for Donkey 2005 in general - bless this cell Lord and use us for ur plan. Yeahx... finally, thinking of bring 05B11 to church this saturday - what say You Father? Speak to me yeahx? Thanks. Just commit everything unto You - Germaine, Jamie... I guess You know it all. Sorry for the things that I've done wrong... Mmmx... all I have is Yours... these I pray in Your name - AMEN!

PE Day

2005-02-22T22:30:00.000+08:00

It's but another day closer to the releasing of the results - whenever that is la. I'm still worried. Haix. How how? I shall not think about it too much le.

Day started off quite fine with a movie. Hehex. Some indian show was shown for GP lecture. At least can slack la - but jeremy chua was touching me throughout the movie so errrx, not that comfortable - wadeva la. Used to it le. Hahax. After that literature was quite crappy. I was distracted and errrx, got scolded by lit teacher cause was playful. Deserved it la. We learnt about the importance of lit history and heard some pretty nice poems. Blahx. Earnest poem was super musy. Wonder who he was thinking of when he wrote it. Hahax.

Mmmmx... we had a break after that. 05B11 stayed in class and errrx, cross-dressed. Hahax. I tried on Merrisa's uniform but it was far to big. Haha. Jolene's shirt and skirt came next. Hahax. Fitted nicely and ya, the skirt more cooling than my CHS shorts lei - quite nice. Jing Yun wore my uniform and wow, she looked quite nice. Hahax. Got some photos to keep as memory of the fun we had. Haix.. i'll really miss the class. *sobx* Hope we all land up in the same JC. Haix. That's life - you give and take - all is gone b4 you know it. So sad.

PE was fun. Had hardcore warm-up and yuppie, it got my mind off things for a while. It was down to floorball after that. My team quite fun la - drawed all the games except one - in which where by we won. Hahax. Good job guys and girls! Hahax. It was tiring but we really focused on the game - good distraction from the results. Hehex. Two periods of PE passed very quickly and ya, time for double break. Heck the break and carried on playing badminton. Dun wan time to make myself worry more. Haix. We played with Merrisa, Jeremy Chua, Jeremy Lai, Andrew and a new made friend, Lisa. Hahax. Lisa's my clone in badminton - exactly the same style so yea, all our moves are predicted by each other. Hahax. We started off on the same team, then owned the rest. Hahax. She read my mind, I read hers. All our techniques all the same. hehex. Then later, played against her. Hahax. She smash, I can catch. Hahax. Play with her, just ask myself: what would I do? hahax. was so fun! Won her in the end cause ya, got more strength so guess the shots faster and more powerful - lesser time for her to react... but well, she was my clone and she was good. I had fun. Hope she did too - will play with you again in the future k Lisa? Hahax. Mmmmmx... that's the fun part la - badminton was also very rough. Merrisa, Jolene and myself all got injured. Hehex. I smashed a few shots into Jolene and errrx, killed Merrisa (who was in my team) by hitting the shuttle at her back. Oppps... Was quite hard lei - sorrie. But ya, I got injured the best one - Jolene's killer smash wasnt really strong but it hit at a wonderful angle which caused my specs to fly. Got quite a deep cut on my left eye as a result. I saw read for a few seconds due to blood. Blahx. It was oki, just a little pain after that. My sleeve was quite bloody though. Hahax. Well, i'm perfectly oki now la. It was a fun and friendly game. Nobody had any ill-intentions. Hahax. Jeremy Chua made a lot of comedy shots which errrx, landed in the opposite court.. or in his own court - he was the fun of the game la. Thanks Chua! Hahax. Lai played hardcore as usal but got Merrisa... Hahax.. No prob la. All I needed to do is just basic defence and counter all Lisa's drop shots and smash can le. Hahax. Fun la.

Went for lit lecture after 180minutes of exercising. Hehex. Sweaty and all. The lecture so few ppl attended lorx. Hehex. Did the Measure For Measure play for the teacher and she was quite disturbed. Jeremy Chua and myself played multiple roles cause all the actors not present. Hahax. Was fun la. He touched me.. again. Hahax.

Then we had cross-dressing part two! In front of the teacher. Hahax. I wore Jing Yun's clothes this time. I prefer Jolene's skirt though. Hehex. Took photos again. Teacher was quite disturbed. Jeremy and andrew both molested me. Argh! Hahax. I look quite pretty as a girl right? Hahax. Lalala. Fun to be a girl. Blahx. After that, changed back then since got like one more period, we all sing nonsense songs lorx. Hehex. Then bell rang and we all went to make Singpass together. Hahax. Go HDB Hub at toa payoh. Went to eat first though. Quite nice la our lunch... it was at 4pm though. Hahax. Made a fool of ourselves at the place. When I walked out of the lift, in CHS shorts, I exclaimed: "I'm from RI horx" Quite dumb but errrx, wadeva. Oppps... Hehex...

Mmmmx... daddy fetched me home after that. Was having a slight headache le due to the hot weather. Went back, stoned and prac guitar a while b4 doing CGL-training homework. Hehex. Went to bathe after that den went to eat dinner with daddy. Mmmmx... ate steak. Quite tough but oki la. Then off to CGL training. They talked about icebreakers today. Hehex. I attended the moudle le so refresher's course lorx. I ran out occasionally to attend sunshine kids meeting which was also going on simultaneously. Hahax. I'm in charge of a grp for sunshine kids outing lei - wad the heck. Hahax. Gotta make sure can go man. Blahx.

Went home with a splitting headache after training. I had to sleep. Couldnt take it. Yeahx. I miss Beatrice already. What the heck. Haix. She's leaving for camp tmr morning. Oh wellx... Life goes on. Sleep sleep....

Worried...

2005-02-21T23:30:00.000+08:00

A single word to descirbe my mental state of mind for the last few days - depressed. Haix. Super worried about my O'level results. I've been putting on a strongfront for far too long le and yea, now cannot take it anymore le. I'm scared, really scared. Expecting was the last thing I should have done lorx - expected so much until cannot contemplate the failure. What if I dun meet up to my own expectations? How am I ever gonna face myself. Heck the world la - i dun even know if I can look at myself in the mirror and be that confidient person i once was. Spent half my life councilling ppl about such issues and when I face it myself, I'm like a helpless babe. Wad nonsense. Why is life always like that - so damn screwed up and meaningless. What's the use of all the bible verses that I've memorized? I know, but cant apply. Where's my faith? Haix... I dunno lorx. How wonderful.

So many things must happen now. Got Jamie and Germaine - why the hell cant both of you just patch up and be friends again. You both also my xiao meis... Care about both of you equally and then wad, because of some misunderstanding, fall out and cause my whole family to worry about you two. Even the CGLs also raising concerns lorx. Haix. I really love both of you as my little sisters lei - please dun make things difficult for me le. Haix. Please patch up. *sobx*

Then also got school - I freaking dunno wad in the world econs is le lorx - used to like that subject so much but now wad, basics also dun understand. I hate myself la. Oki, dun talk about econs - GP also screwing me up. Challenged, insulted and scolded my GP teacher today. Got a nice tounge lashing as a reward for doing so la. What was I thinking lorx. He's my teacher afterall. I cant even think straight in school! Shit lorx. I'll miss all the friends that I've made too - two months is really, a very long time. Jing Yun wrote a little card for me today - short but yea, really meaningful. Thanks girl. Haix. I'll miss everybody - including jeremy chua. He's been a fun guy la. And quite tolerant of my nonsense too. Apologies to those whom I've offended today - really wasnt thinking straight. Haix.

Nothing's in place now. Everything's collasping. Am I backsliding again? I dun wan to. God, where are You? Haix. Been reading the CGL's copy of "The Hour That Changes the World". Asked myself - why cant i just be a commited prayer warrior. I keep finding excuses not to spend time with Him. Wad nonsense. I really miss His love le. Where and what really is love. I'm kinda deviod and dried of it. I'm tired and running dry. Leading a cell without experiecing His love is really draining me. I might have to take a break - again, i dunno wad I'm gonna do. Haix. Lord, where are You?

Why must so many things happen at one go. I cant take it le lorx. Anymore and I think can explode le. The situation I'm in now is like so damn helpless - i know it's over - and that's the whole point of it. There's nothing I can do. Nothing with immeadiete results that is. Yea... a lot of ppl tell me pray. I wanna have faith and just trust the Lord but... aiya... Say also no point. I'm like totally lost now la.

Beatrice's leaving for camp in a few days - gonna miss her. Take care kx girl?

Is this a sheer test of faith or is it more than that. I've got issues of friendship to deal with. I've got a brand new cell of young believers to look after of. I've got ppl whom I'm afraid i cant make time for. I've got friends who need me but i cant commit. I've got personal problems that I cant even resolve. Haix. Dun wanna cry but then again, maybe letting it all out at one go might do good. Oki - dun even know wad I'm rambling about.

Mummy just spoke to me. Really thankful I've got such a nice family. Although mummy most of the time in office and come back only scold and nag right, I guess she's the one who really knows me the best. I worried also can tell just by listening to the music i play. Thanks mummy. I love you. Hahax. Had a nice dinner prepared by her just now too - expensive one not to mention. Shark's Fin, abalone, big kailan, cod fish... short bird's nest only la but still was nice. It was overly salty though. Mmmmx.... I love my family. Thank God for daddy, mummy and yea, that cute little brother of mine who's alseep behind me now - yang. Hahax.... guess my moodiness affected him a little too - sorrie didi. Play with u when I cheer up kx? Hehex....

"Remember, no man is a failure who has friends."
Got this quote from somewhere. It's times like these that yea, really treasure my friends. Jowell, Beatrice, Ruth, Jiamin... the list goes on la. Colleen too... Vanessa. Yeahx. Without them, dunno wad I'll be doing with my life.

Mmmmx... oki oki. back to daily life - practiced guitar today. Learnt a new song. Very good. Hahax. Mmmx... just got email from susanna - supposed to co-ordinate with uncle ian the worship for Good Friday and Easter service. Whee! Major event le. Time to do work. Hope all the emotions dun get it the way. This one's solely for God! Yuppie.

Shall end off here. Tmr's gonna be a long day - before I go to bed today, I promise I'll spend time praying. I really need to spend time and talk to God le. Nitex all!

******************

Dear God - I quieten myself down and wait upon You.

Life's been really messed up with a lot of nonsense. You know what I'm going through and Lord, I pray that You'll really be here for me. I want You to be by my side thorugh this tough period of trail. I confess that I've backslided and ya, not spent suffcient time with You - I miss You Father. Guess I really do need You. Your word says that if we wait upon You, You shall mount us with wings like eagels so that we may soar high above all for Your glory. I want to claim this promise and yes Lord, shine for You. Whatever my O'level results maybe, I hope that You'll use it for Your perfect plan. And Lord, help me to put aside my pride and submit to Your plan. I know You'll look after me so ya, I entrust it all unto You. Pray for Jamie and Germaine too - heal their relationship. Please Father, intercede! Let both of them patch up so that there'll be a happy ending to this. Pray for Germaine too - 8th is the day and yea, guess she would be a little anxious deep down inside - help us ALL to be there for her. Mmmmx... yeahx... there's one person whom I've left out for quite sometime - Huiyi. Know our relationship has been damaged due a one big misunderstanding. I dunno how it can be mended but Lord, I pray that You'll do something about it. I lift it up to You. Also pray once again for my cell - Donkey 2005. Leading them has drained me quite a lot and yea, I do admit that I'm not really that worthy a leader for them. However Lord, strengthen me. I'm gonna be a prayer warrior and Lord, fill me with Your love so that as You bless me, I may share Your blessings with them. Bond the cell further and grant Zhengxian and myself leadership qualities to lead them.

Lord, You've blessed me with the talent in music too. I pray that You'll help me to fully use these talents to glorify You. Learning guitar so that can play for cell meetings - continue to guide me and send ppl to aid me. Also pray that for the major events of Good Friday and Easter, You'll help me use these talents to bring glory unto You. Help me lead the ensemble and ya, get the whole team together to serve You. All's for Your glory Father.

Praise You Lord for all the good that You've done. Once again, I recommit my life into Your hands. Use me as Your instrument to reach out to others. Give me two friends whom I can share the Gospel with and get them to come on the 26th of March. Ummmx... also for tmr's CGL training, grant me alertness so that I may learn.

Guess that's about all for today's prayer. Yeahx - it's long cause i really do miss talking to You Father. Will spend more time with You in a while. Wanna talk to You more and listen too. I love You with all my heart Father. *Mauzl!* Glory to You always - AMEN!

Mmmmx...

2005-02-17T23:00:00.000+08:00

I woke up really late today and got ready in 5minutes. Hahax. Pro right? Taught yang additional maths till one plus I think. Then couldnt take it and slept unknowingly. Lalala... I was down at 0720h I guess. Kat was patiently waiting with my dad - opps.. sorrie. Hahax. Yang's fault ar. =)

School started off with econs - boring. Then after that was lit - did a very weird and funny poem today. Hahax. Dont really understand yet cause it's being left on a "to be continued during tutorial" status - we ran out of time. Oh wellx... During break I just stoned in class and got sexually assaulted by Jeremy Chua again. Oh wellx.. it's just Jeremy - getting used to it le. Hahax. And I hate my metal buttons - let ppl press until very pain lei. Hehex.

GP followed and boy, was it screwed up. Had our presentations - Jeremy Chua did on Personalities and hurled bad words in front of the teacher for his skit. Hahax. Comedy. It was funny though. Hahax. Merrisa's grp did on guns - theirs very cute - kept on laughing. Hahax. Den errrx, best was Kaixin's grp la - very nice ppt and organized too. Mine was screwed up. I was pissed off by the teacher b4 we presented cause he suddenly told me that might not have audio. I told him I needed two days ago lorx. Rubbish. Then go computer lab that time, everything not set-up. Wad the hell lorx. During presentation, I think my team did quite oki la - I screwed my part though. Stammered for dunno wad reason. Haix. Wad was I doing? Oh well... Now just hope, have faith and pray.

Mmmmx... history lesson followed and it was boring. Mr. Lam cracked some really lame jokes - a cedarian crashed our class and got caught but was let off. Hahax. Wad nonsense. Oh wellx... Bell rang and I rushed off. Beatrice called and said she'll be late so I tried to take my time - the bus came when she put down the phone - wonderful. Hahax.

Sat at Serangoon Central for quite some time waiting for Beat. She came eventually and ya, we went to SCAS lorx. Played with the kids there. Something happened to Colin Chan - saw his wheel chair and he not there - oh no. Hope he's fine. *glupx* heard he fell off. Haix.... We saw Ms Mar (she looks fatter) and Ms Soh. We went round visiting the kids first den stuck to Kok An's class for music lesson. Hehex. They played with Handbells. And ya, as Beatrice said, the kids got better pitching than the teacher. Hahax. The sang B-I-N-G-O and Doh A Deer. Hahax. So cute lorx.
We accompanied them till assembly - saw this guy who looked like ruby player - he looks damn strong lorx. I scared of him - he struggle only I think worst than jeremy on top of me le. Hahax. Oh yeahx! The kids kept touching beatrice. Grrrx... hahax. Especially kok an... I ended up teaching him Hi-five and shaking hands... and not to forget, MI's bimbo handshakes. Hahax. Let him wack me a little too. Hehex. Dun beat beat can le. Hahax. Cute kids.
Mmmmx... Both beat and myself stood with this girl, sherly, during the final assembly. She suffered from involenteerie behaviour and kept punching her own head. I used my hand block her blows - they were hard oki! Haix... so poor thing lorx. Beat sang song to her - I silently prayed. Really wonder at times why this happens. Haix. Saddening. Praying works though - she seemed to calm down a little each time I prayed. Amen. Thank God.

We went to get volenteer forms after we pushed them into the vans and then, left. Took 53 to serangoon interchange. Met Elaine's sis on the bus - how can she not know me! Ahhh! Hahax. Beat showed me some nonsense but cute photos - horny cedarians. Hahax. But MI worst. Hahax. Played with her soft toy doggy too - Jerry right the name. Hahax. Cute. Sent beat off then went to makan. Went home, practiced guitar and fell asleep after that. That's my life. Hehex.

Mummy woke me up to eat dinner (again) then I went to bathe. Grandma turned off my heater when I was bathing lorx. Irritating. Hahax. After that, it's the computer for me. Hehex. Mmmmx.. just taught Yang some chem and realised I forgotten most stuff le. Hahax.Wee! Physics I still know. Hahax. Dun like chem. Blahx. Jolene just SMS me to read her blog. Guess we're all worried about O'lvl results - we'll miss each other too. Yeahx. Oh wellx... i dun wanna get depressed now. Shall not think. I will not get emotional. Hahax. I'll sleep early today. I'll try. Hehex. Yuppie. That's my day!

**************

Lord, You've blessed us with so much but what are we doing with wha we have. SCAS was a painful sight - especially Sherly. Why Lord, why? I wanna help but how? I pray for healing - I want to see healing in Your name. The devil will not have his way. In Jesus name Father, I want to receive the power of the Holy Spirit to pray for healing to fall upon them. Haix. Lord, their lives are Yours - they are Your children - be there for them. Mmmmx... thanks for helping out in GP presentation today too - couldnt have done it without You. Also thank you for all my classmates - they've been great. Thanks for the time of fellowship that I've had today. Thanks for everything. Would like to pray for Donkey 2005 - bond us even more as a cell. For Sunday's meeting, speak to Zheng Xian and myself - havent plan yet. Also for myself, I pray for aid in me learning the guitar. I wanna learn so can play for cell. Yeahx. Help me out ya? I'm trying le. Continue to pray for xiao mei, Germaine. Guard her Lord. Pray for Jamie too - settle the problems she has. Let all disputes in the 'family' die Lord. Also pray for PL Ensemble - still short of a clarinet - find one Lord. Oh Lydia just logged on - hahax - thanks! Mmmx... help beatrice and yang out in their tests tmr. Commit everything unto You Lord - show me Your way and Your plan for me - I wanna know. O'lvl results coming soon - I'm scared but Lord, I know You'll be there. I love You Father and I give You praise and thanks. All these I pray in Your name - AMEN!

Pissed

2005-02-16T23:59:00.000+08:00

I failed my economics test. Stupid paper lorx - kenna tricked so badly - but I deserved it la. Din read the questions throughly and digest the information so ya, it's wad i deserved. Shall learn from my mistake. Mmmmx... wasnt a nice way to start my day though - so depressing.

Chinese period was painfully long and draggy. Teacher taught us chinese summary - I managed to understand most of the lesson but ummmx, very tired and vexed le la. Jing Yun was sitting beside me, watching me count the seconds away. I made sure my watch was accurate to the school bell. The anticipation of the ringing bell was wad kept me awake - I was starting to get grumpy - time was too slow and the lesson to long. Yawnx.

Economics lecture was cancelled cause Wendy Ng was on MC. A well deserved break after chinese was thus, achieved. It was a scary one though - Jeremy Chua attempted to touch me. Grrrx.. Guess I reacted quite violently cause he stopped after the second try. Hehex. I'm so not gay oki! Leave me alone please brother? Haix.

Triple period with Mr. Lam followed. Hehex. We wanted to plan with him go class outing - on thursday and skip school but he dun wan. Hahax. Quote from Vanessa: "Mr. Lam, we're inviting you to our class outing! But you cannot tell Mrs. Tan oki? Cause we don't want to invite her."
Hahax. So pro right. We had a mini-history assignment too. I passed! Hahax. Indonesia gained it's independence on 17th August 1945. Hehex. I shall remember that again. Hehex.
Home tutor period was spent crapping with the click. Tits-pervert. Wadeva. Hahax. Nothing was ever intended ar... hahax... but jeremy chua touched heidi's.. errrrx, sensitive spot. Hahax. He should be the condemned one lorx - all I saw was by accidient. Hahax. I miss catholic high - at least got no girls to corrupt me. Ahhhh!

After school, went to do GP project with my grp. Agnes went home first to eat while cuishan, heiwai and myself went to eat Beef Bowl. Met Buntono there. Hehex. Arranged to all gather at my house at 1430h but as expected, Agnes late. That's one oki - it still goes on. Was super pissed by her by the end of the day. While waiting for Agnes, we touched up on the nitty-gritty stuff.
Agnes arrived at 1500h and we began hardcore work. Rehearsed the skit first. Cuishan and I were like drama all the way lorx. Heiwai was narrator for first part, den Agnes second part. Haix. So ya, first part went smoothly den came to Agnes part ar, she kept rushing lorx! Read so fast! That's two! Was getting pissed le but controlled. Got the skit over and done with by 1545h den went on to do PowerPoint notes.
Everybody, except AGNES, contributed information and research to the preperation of the ppt so more or less knew wad to say. We all still not confident say need to write script to play safe. Then wahx, Agnes act pro lorx - say she dun need to write her part, can talk on the spot! Bloody hell lorx. That's three. I kinda flared up le cause the powerpoint slide that she presenting is i research and do on her behalf de cause she couldnt find time (which is such a lame excuse - I'm busier than she is lorx!). And that brings the count to four. In the end, everyone convinced her to write. She agreed but in the end, Heiwai ended up writing everything for her. Ask her do, she sit on the floor say thinking - yea right! That's five. Very angry le lorx!

Did project until 1700h +++ den all tired le, say need to go home. I read through wad they typed and errx, realised no relation to the powerpoint at all. Oh God... haix.. Then as if not enough right, before we dispersed, wanted to discuss some matters first and guess wad, Agnes just openly walked out of my house and went home! What is this lorx. That's six and i was hopping mad le. Whose house do you think you're in ar sister? Your own one ar? What the hell lorx! sent the other two off and went back to re-type the whole script for all of them. I was tired, sick and really fuming le. Yang got scolded a little by me cause he wanted to use computer to play. Oppps... sorry didi.

Ummmx... finally finished the entire 1000-word script by 1900h. Agnes was online so I sent it to her via MSN. Here comes seven. She took so damn long to accept the sending. Then comes eight. Accepted script le den dun wan accept revised powerpoint slide - say dun need. Wad rubbish! Need to familarise urself ma! Haix. Scolded her online lorx which brough about nine. I scolding half-way, can suddenly just ask me "how do I del MSN contact ar?" Wahx. That was it lorx. Bloody cannot take it le! I just burst out and scolded her full force le. I dun wan fail my GP and she so nonchalant! Shit lorx! Argh! Scold finish, she replied sorry. Then suddenly, she logged off. That's ten. How rude.

I went back to typing email to send to cuishan and heiwai. Was trying to cool down too. Sent finish den suddenly, Agnes came back. I asked her if got read through the script den she said yes. Ask her if it was oki, then she tell me "wait, i read first". That's eleven. Angry was back again. Read le then she said too long, wan to edit. Oki, i respect the decesion. In the end, she said lazy, so will just read from script. That's twelve. Haix. Enough to make me blow le. Haix. If she screws up anything tmr, I'm gonna show black face le. argh!

Mmmmx... after that, played and practice guitar until fell asleep. Slept quite long I think cause wake up that time, mummy come back le. Yuppie. Woke up then went back to the guitar. I can play simple songs in G'major le! Hahax. Hurray! Talked to jiejie online for a while too. She's free tmr but dun wan go out. Piggy. Will be going to SCAS tmr with beatrice. Yeahx! Miss the kids so ya... we'll have fun there. Hahax. Teaching yang additional mathematics now... i'll be teaching till one plus le I guess. Oh well.. he's my little brother so ya, i'll be nice. and beatrice, chill kx? *pat pat* Hahax... Nitex in advance world!

***************

Lord, it's been a really tiring day. Pray that You'' just give me strength for tmr. Help me thorugh GP presentation. Mmmmx... let everything run smoothly. Also pray for beatrice - help her cool down ya? Pray for the time that we'll be having together tmr too - bless the time of fellowship and let us reach out to the kids at SCAS. Yuppie. Commit my life and Donkey 2005's lives into Your hands - all we have is Yours and we wanna use all we have to glorify You. Help us and guide us - AMEN!

Post-Valentines Day

2005-02-15T23:59:00.000+08:00

Gloomy start for the day - felt like rubbish in the morning - lost my voice. Hahax. Somemore first period had to sit down and watch the nonsense Total Defence Day presentation. My group supposed to do Social Defence but well, all the slackers din bother to do so we were ommited. Yuppie! The whole presentation overshot time and ate into our break - so irritating. Hehex.

After our short break, we went for literature in the library. Lesson was spent talking nonsense with the teacher. Hahax. Talked about our future plans and errrx, we told her "The Mystery Of The Green Ping-Pong Ball". Hahax. Amusing story la - I love it! So lame... Hehex.

After lit felt like shit already but still went ahead for PE. Double period again. First period spent warming-up - did 5-BX. Almost died lorx - felt giddy but prayed... Was better after that! Thank God. We played touch ruby after warming up. The game is super messy lorx - all dunno how to play one. Hehex. Second half of games more fun! Soccer at last! Wahx! So long nv play le. We used a vollyball to play. Freaking ball so light. I missed a beautiful curl lorx. The shot was so nice! It just din curl enough cause too light! Ahhh! I still cant get over the miss - it was such a nice curl shot. Should have gone in lorx. Hahax. Jeremy Chua was our keeper - in layman terms, he sucks. Hahax. He own goal for us lorx. Best la. Hehex. But well, game was fun la. Then again, I cant get over the miss - it was a perfect shot oki! Argh! Why din the curl go in! *sob*

Mmmmx... after PE felt so much better. 05B11 went to play badminton after that. We had the pro league and the noobie league. Heidi is so pro! Hahax. Din dare to play with her. I trashed Jeremy Chua flat and had a nice friendly game with Jeremy Lai. Hahax. Played with Merrisa for a while too - she's errrx, funny, like my didi. Always use hand catch shuttle de. Haix. Kinda like jiejie too horx. Hahax. But ya la, the shots were targetted at mmmx, sensitive areas so yuppie, she was forced to catch la. Sorrie Merrisa! Hahax. Next time I'll smash harder so cannot catch. Hehex. So ya, we played badminton for two whole periods so in the end, had like 4 straight periods of PE - dead tired. Hahax. Mr Heikel chased us off at 1330h and errrx, lit was cancelled so we all went home! Hahax.

I got home, turned on computer, stoned and then went to practice guitar. I fell asleep in the process. Sick and tired la. Hehex. Was woken up by Samuel's call... grrrxx.. ask me how to add photos to him blog! Wah lao... disturb my sleep. I was kinda irritated so scolded him but he din get the point that I was sick, tired, dirty and had to go for CGL training soon. Not tactful! Hahax. In the end, just kept scolding him (while trying to teach him) but to no avail. He super noob lorx - basic HTML also dunno - so i really dunno how to help. In the end, just hung up on him cause daddy rushed me to bathe. Hehex. I took a really quick bath and den went to eat dinner with daddy. We went for CGL training together after that.

CGL training was weird - i transfered over to adults' side for training and errrx, everybody was like double my age. Hahax. I so young! Scary. I kept real quiet through the whole boring session. Hahax. Learnt quite a lot though. Shall apply it in Donkey 2005 cell meetings. Oh yea... and i think i need to start communicating and working with Zhengxian le... we two like no co-operation de. Oh no... Sorry ar brother. Will get things organized by the next cell meeting. We'll meet up and discuss b4 cell meeting. Yuppie!

Mmmmx... Got home and chased didi away from computer cause had to do GP project. I'm so pissed with our GP teacher lorx - the old man nv give me any details. If the computer he gives us is windows XP, i'm so screwed. If there's no projector, even more screwed. I need internet too! And audio cable - ask him everything, he say tmr.. .and as if there's lesson tmr. What the hell lorx. If anything goes wrong on thursday, I'm really gonna flare up. Total rubbish. He so nonchalant. And the marks are really important. Will fwd to JC de! And ya, I need it for my lit support statement too! Haix. Screw the old man! Tmr i'm gonna find him. He give me nonsense, I think i gonna loose patience and start lambusting le. Pissing me off lorx old hag! You dun care, I dun care if i make you loose face - watch me! Think you teach GP very big ar? You try out talking me la! If somehow you succeed, take on Jeremy Chua and me la! See how you talk? Bloody idiot.

Haix. Oki oki - project discussion tmr. More or less settled le (accept the old man's nonsense). Ummmmx... Yuppie. Gonna study for history test soon. Yawnie. I hate this. Results coming out soon too - I gotta admit, I'm scared lorx. Haix. Entrust it to God le ba. Nothing else I can do! Ahhhh!!!

**********************

Lord, I'm fustrauted. GP project is all in a mess cause teacher not desaminating information correctly. Things are getting done but now, I'm afraid there will be technical faults on Thursday itself. Lord, I pray against these. Bless tomorrow's meeting too Father - let things get done. Mmmmx... also wanna pray for Zhengxian and myself - bring us together to discuss this wk's cell plan for Donkey 2005 - we need to communicate to serve You better Lord. Looking for a clarinetist for Good Friday too - Susanna suggested Timothy and errrx, dunno who he is. Help me locate him? Yuppie. Tmr's history test - help please? I'll do last minute studying so errx, pray that all will go in. Wanna continue to pray for Germaine - havent heard from her - hope everything's fine. Also pray for Jamie - patch up the areas in her life where she need You Lord. Today's CGL training was fruitful too - I really commit all I have unto You - everything Lord, use it for Your plans. I don't care what other people say Lord, cause I love You and I'm gonna just keep running after You until the very end! I love You Father, today, tomorrow and forever! I pray all these in Your name - AMEN!

Valentines Day

2005-02-14T23:16:00.000+08:00

Wahx. Today very tiring day lei. Morning go school sell cookies. Sold until so tired lorx. Hahax. Star salesman! Ah! I'm loosing my voice le. So tired. Jeremy Chua took advantage and touched me after the sales lorx. Haix. Molested by Jeremy Chua! Ah!
Mmmmx... Jeremy Lai proposed to Charmaine today too. Hahax. So sweet. I'm the moon and you the stars. Hahax. Wah! So mushy! Hahax.

The rest of my day errrx, hahax, sensored. Dun wanna know. I was sick lorx. Hahax. So tired! Yawnx. Apologies to those I offended today ar... was really too tired to think - den after Jeremy, haix, depressed too. Hahax.

I practiced guitar a little too! Getting better. Will be there soon. Grrrx.. I can do it! Yuppie. My fingers are kinda swollen though but wad the heck. No pain, no gain! I'm gonna play the guitar and that's final. I so long cannot play le and now got progress so time to work hard le! Yuppie.

Oh ya... really pissed at someone. Wah lao - think you so big is it? When did I ever say I interested in you? Go and die lorx. Nonsense! Think too highly of yourself man... Grrrx... Get out of my life!

Today's entry shall be short. Hahax. Dun need datails! Hahax. Happy Valentines Day Beatrice! Hahax. Oki.. happy valentines day to all. =) shall not be biased. Nitex word!

****************

Hey Lord... I cant find my bible. Guess I've misplaced it - hope it'll come back. Using Berty's bible for now but ya, I wan mine back. My sword! Mmmmx... more tests coming up this wk.. pray for guidance and strrength - havent been studying. Give me the will to carry on. Haix. You know my heart Lord.. take away all the worries please? Pray for Germaine too - be with her through this time. Give her the love she needs and let her know that You, as well as all of us, will be here if she needs us. Pray for Donkey 2005 - cell's been messy and got some spammer on our blog - take care of things Lord. We entrust everything to you. Tmr got CGL training - hope I can join in the adults - specialist training la. Yuppuie. Oh yea... for Good Friday - need clarinet le. Rachel backed out - find one for us Lord so that we can worship and glorify You on that day. Commit all unto You - Happy Valentines Day Father! I LOVE YOU! Amen!

Pre-Valentines Day

2005-02-13T23:59:00.000+08:00

Yang woke me up today! First time lei. Hahax. Went to church together as a family! Hahax. Parents went for service while Yang went for cell. I went third floor stone. Wanted read bible but found out it was missing lorx. Oh no! Ended up writing poem and Valentines Day card for jiejie. Hahax. Also played Stress and Bloody Knuckles with small choy. Stupid games lorx. Hehex.

After that went to watch movie with jeremy, germaine, gen, kevin, hansel, liling and yang. Took 81 to interchange. Made a hell load of noise on the bus. Hehex. When we reach right, we happily walked to Tampanesis Mall and guess wad, CNA was there! Best lorx! They tot we were group dating! Nonsense. Then catch us interview us. We just talk nonsense and exonerated ourselves. Wahx! So rubbish. Kevin and Hansel both no guts lorx. Ran away and left us in the lurch. Wadeva! Hehex.

After talking enough nonsense to them, we ran away and bought tickets to watch "I Do I Do". We bought ticket for Nicholas Toh too and when we called him, he was still at errrx, J8! Wonderful! Hahax. We left his ticket at the counter in the end for him to collect. Hehex. B4 movie, we went to take neos. Quite nice la the shots - just that the stupid machine very tiring - up, centre and down. Haix. And the whole place was pink! I so hate pink! Hehex...

Ya. Then went to watch movie. So rubbish lorx she show. Waste my $8.50. Grrrx.. Hehex. After movie, gen needed toilet but all long queue so she suffered. Hahax. Yuppie.
Made our way to Germaine's house after that. Jamie called us like mad to get Germaine's addy. Hahax. Went there den played zuo ji mi ma. Liling had to drink some horrid sweet drink lorx... cause she lost. Nick was sadistic when playing. Hahax. In the end, she din finish all. I took a sip of the drink too - horrid man! Hahax. So damn sweet! Hehex...

Mmmmx... after that we went upstairs play cards. Screwed up game la. Messy. Played 21 too! And ya, Jamie lost! Hahax. She forfeit take photo with jeremy! Hahax. SO SWEET! Hehex. Ya. Then she took the cam from me, wanted to del the photo. But I smart la.. took out the batteries. Hahax. Oppps... So she just kept the camera. Kept it between her legs. Then yang tried to take. Hahax. She blocked him lorx. Find la, sensitive area, cannot take. Then she kept telling us how safe it was as Hansel took the cam from her back and hid it. Hahax. Blur sotong. Hahax. So cute lorx.

Yuppie. Tot germaine piano a while after that den daddy came to pick us up. Liling took out my file from my bag and din replace it... left it at germaine's house lorx. Haix. My cards! Hahax. Oh wellx...

Went Lin's house for gathering after that. Mummy brought guitar and nicholas taught me! Hahax. Almost can play a complete song le. A bit more practice! I will practice! Ahhh! Hahax. Had fun there la. Talked, played and sang. Hehex. Cousins will know the whole story. =) Hehex... Went home, prac guitar somemore den slept le. Hahax.... I miss my bible. Oh no... haix... Hehex.. I'll use bertram's one for the time being.

Messed Up Day

2005-02-13T02:20:00.000+08:00

Ah... dun like my day. So messed up! Morning woke up at 8am and got ready to go heartland meet Keane and Timothy. Half-way preparing then Timothy called me - rushed me, say reach already. Not bad.. meet at 0830h de then he reach at 0810h. So early for wad? Haix. Wadeva la - so rushed at got there at 0825h lorx. Guess wad... and Keane was late... came at about 0845h. Rubbish. Rushed for nothing. We took a cab to J8 in the end cause scared late. In the cab, Samuel called me say reach le. Nonsense - say meet at 0915h then he reach at 0900h. What's their problem ar? Always late one then today suddenly so early! Haix. Oh wellx...

We were early so went macs buy food to eat. Treated Timothy to a muffin then went up wait for movie to start. We bought pop corn (mixed) and two cups of drinks. Watched Constantine and errrx, the show so satanic! During the movie, I was like wondering how to explain to the kids lorx. Haix. Messed up. Should have watched Zebra show. Hahax. At the end ar, stupid actor purposely lift up shirt hao lian abs lorx. Hahax. Funny. The show was full of rubbish - wad go heaven point middle finger - haix.. the kids learnt too much rubbish today. Opppss...

After movie was like 1215h le. Died lorx. CGL cell meeting never go. I'm so dead. Uncle Allan's gonna kill me. Then again, it was all the way at Mandai there so errrx, too far? Haix. Cut the excuses - my fault la - i'm guilty. Gotta learn to manage my time well le. We walked around J8 for a while then got tired. Took 53 back to Heartland and talked there somemore. Aaron joined us there. I bumped in too XM's flute section too! Grace and all her juniors... they all look so pro le lorx. Oh no! I must go back my band go help le - cannot loose to XM! Ah! Oh wellx... will make time. Ate Beef Bowl for lunch and was interrupted by a nasty old lady who scolded us for making too much noise. Wadeva - it's the public aunty. Hahax. Annabelle and Amanda were there too. Hahax. Said hi to them and they ran away - rubbish. Hehex. Yuppie.
After lunch, walked around and bought a few badges. Cute ones. Hahax. Had to pull the kids to go for cell meeting - off to the park!

On our way there, passed by lin's house so ya, popped by. Playing water lorx - so fun! Said hi and left. Timothy hero lei.. ran in, took water bomb and bombed me. Kids... hahax. Yea... so we went to the park and had cell there. Took a few photos and then began cell. Messy meeting la. Talked about accountibility but errrx, doubt anyone understood. Gosh... Hahax. We wanted go back heartland buy water after cell but then right, yi lin called and invited us over for mei's b'dae party. So sweet! Thank God! Yuppie. So whole cell went over to eat and drink. After they ate, they left for LAN. I tried to stop them kx? Hahax. But to no avail. I stayed behind to babysit. Julia is so CUTE! Hahax. Reminds me of someone though but errrx, she's so CUTE! Hahax. oki oki... but she's really CUTE! Ah... I was their babysitter cum clown there lorx. Hehex. They went park later and I followed. Took care of them with lin. They're nice kids la - and Julia is cute. Hahax. So was oki la. Hehex. Went back after some time, rested, chit-chatted and then, my sheeps came back. Those dodos ar, after LAN all the brain not working one. All so tactless. Offended a few of the girls and yi lin lorx. Haix. Oh well... waste time covering up for them. Scolded them after we left.

Ummmx... we walked to church after we left their house. Nonsense one - on the way talk rubbish, nonsense and more rubbish. Hahax. But this cell is nice la. Hehex. Donkey 2005 rocks!

We reached church about 7:00pm and joined up with Bertram and Daniel. Went for service after that. Passed Jamie and Beatrice Valentines Day card. Germaine was missing so, well, tmr ba. Hahax. Beat brought two cousins along. Hehex. Had a hard time trying to entertain them (cause i was already super tired) but well, can la. Berty was touching me throughout the sermon - yucks! I hate gays! Ahhh! I complain to ur mum then u know. Hahax. I'm damn straight one kx? Hahax. Sermon was real boring. Din make sense.. as if it would even if i really listened... Hahax. Blur! Oh yeahx.. Jamie gave me valentines day present. Hahax. Thanks.. Where are the rest ar? I left too fast le is it? Hahax....

Long sermon ended at 9:45pm and Beatrice, Berty and cousins went for supper at macs. Hahax. Berty stole beatrice and my food! Grrrx... hahax. Well, the time with them was the only really fun part of the day la - cause can relax a bit and fool around. Thanks for your company guys!

Beat's dad fetched me home after supper. Thanks! Stepped into house, someone called my hp - private number. Tot prank call again so answered and put on loudspeaker. Then scolded. Mum heard everything and there we have it, a big misunderstanding. Dun wan elaborate le. Feel very bad le. Sorry Beatrice, Bertram, Bethia and Aunty Wendy. Haix. Mummy and yang gonna be FBI for next few days le - hacking and tracing. Hahax. Wow wow... have fun! Hahax....

Mmmmx... that's about all. Shall round off soon.. toking to vanessa, half-asleep. Hahax. Nitex world and once again, sorry Wee family!

********************

Father in heaven, hear my prayer: this day, I come before You, seeking Your love and guidiance. Been really tiring running around and ya, sort of lost my temper too... Mmmx.. as a result, misunderstandings surfaced. Sorry Lord. Hope that all will be fine - I sincerly acknowledge my wrongs and repent. I wanna pray for the nonsense stuff that's been going on - clear the mess up Lord and bring light to the situation. Who is the spammer and prank caller. We need to know. Yuppie. Matter aside, would like to ask you too for organisation skills in my life. It's in a mess. Everything's pioriotized wrongly! Help me clear things up and get things straight. Hope that CLIT can attend on Tuesday and Uncle Allan cell meetins will not clash with Donkey2005's one. Give me strength for the day ahead too - Gonna pray for Germaine - speak to me and give me the spirit of healing Lord - I have faith that she will be fine. I trust You Father! Yupx. Pray for my test on Monday and errrx, my GP project and finally, each member of Donkey2005 - may our next cell meeting me in place and successful. I pray all these in You almighty and holy name - AMEN!

CNY

2005-02-09T23:59:00.000+08:00

Chinese New Year at last - had to wish ppl in chinese! *yucks* But well, I guess this year CNY was much better than last year's one - at least not so stoned.

Day started of with me not wanting to get of the bed cause talked to the innocent Jamie until very late (rather early). In the end, dilly-dallied and got ready. Went to Uncle Ben's house first and ya, the speak chinese campaign started lorx. Good thing I prepared my 'script' in the car. Hahax. I wish for 17years le horx, still dunno wad I'm really talking about - whatever la. I'll learn someday. Hehex.

Left Uncle Ben's house at around errrx, 1200h I think den went to dunno wad Uncle house. All I recall is we visit him every year and get tiny hong baos from that family. Hahax. Oki oki... dun be bad la... It's the thought that counts. Ummmx... and besides, it's only at his house that we get to eat nice new year goodies. The house quite cramp but made do with it. Jamie was SMSing me throughout the time there. At least got entertainment la. Hahax.

Went over to god-mother's house after that. Ate lunch there (although I was super full from all the snacks) and stayed till 1600h. Played 21 with Uncle Alvin and trashed him. Think he so pro - hahax. I super nooby still can win him. Hehex. Then after that played errrx, stupid finger game with the cousins, nephews and nieces. Suprisingly right, I won lei! Hahax. I learnt the game only 2hrs ago and won master Yang. Not bad. Hehex. But fingers were like stiff stiff after the game. Hahax.

Drove off to the other end of Singapore to meet errrx, daddy's side of the family la. Blahx. This yr miserable lorx - all daddy's side ppl all missing de - either migrated or left Singapore. Rubbish. Only got uncle david's family, kao gong and our family lorx. Hahax. I miss Jill Jill they all le. Wonder how Dan Dan doing too... haix! I miss you all! Ahhh! We stayed there for a short while only - ate some super spicy curry (i drank 3 packets of lemon barley lorx) then watch TV a while before disappearing home.

At home, I played piano until Daddy and Mummy fell asleep. Hahax. I was sleep playing too - for once, I played softly. Hehex. Yuppie. So stoned and play until around 1930h then we left house, go jia ying's place to errrx, gather again.

At Jia Ying's house, had loads of fun playing with our nephews and nieces lorx. I had a nice time wrestling with sean sean. That dodo super rough lorx... and his height makes it even worst.. he hit horx, is always below the belt de. Super dangerous lorx. He managed to hit twice but lucky not so hard. All the hard blows were, thankfully, blocked. Hahax. Then right, part two of fun is the nine of the kids sat on jia ying's bed, jumped, and it broke. Nonsense lorx. I had to dismental the bed for jia ying after that - and she cried somemore. Oh wellx... I've got really rough and violent nephews and nieces. Hehex. Sayang kx Jia Ying? Played limbo, pull-ups, boxing and all the nonsense games with them. I was really nice lorx - i din wack anyone today. Hahax. Tolerance level higher le - they hit me, I just smile or play with them. Hahax. Winnie best! She punch, I block. She kick, I block. Then she ended up hurting herself more than she did to me. Hahax. Dumb dumb. Hehex.

Mmmmx.. gathering ended at about 1230h then we went home. In the car, Jamie called. Mummy heard and scolded us cause talked too much to her. Hahax. Best lorx. Ppl in car bored one you know? Hahax. Oh wellx... we just quarrelled a little then listen to her lorx.

Well, that's CNY day 1. Quite fun la actually. Hahax. Now, it's time to plan outing for 12th February for Donkey 2005. Hehex. Nitex!

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Lord, I give thanks to You for this wonderful day. I thank you for the family that I have especially - they're really fun and ya, roudy! Mmmmx... Father, most of the family have accepted You as their Lord and saviour le however, just wanna pray for Yi Lin and family. Lord, please really speak to them and let them know that You are the one true God. Really wanna see the whole family believing and serving You. Commit them into Your hands Father. Also wanna pray for Jia Ying - give her peace in her heart - sec 4 life is tough and yea, it's at these times that we get a little sensitive to too many stuff. Lord, just give her the strength to pull through. Wanna pray for Germaine too Lord - in Jesus name, make her better Father. Just pray that You'll send Your angels to encamp around her. As for the outing this saturday, pray for good weather and that You'll bless our time of fellowship and bonding. Bring new ppl into our midsts too Lord. Yuppie. So, just wanna commit this CNY unto You. Wishing all a prosperous and blessed new year! AMEN!

CNY Celebrations

2005-02-08T11:59:00.000+08:00

School was SO fun today! Hahax. I thought it was going to be really boring but well, it rocked! Ppl were screaming, jumping and going wild. Our PE teacher plays the electric guitar and sings! Hot man! Hehex. The girls went crazy and errrx, I joined them! Hahax.

Mmmmx... after celebrations, went to celebrate Merrisa's b'dae. Hahax. Treated her to lunch. Sadly, everyone was quite tired after all the jumping so a little dead. Hahax. But it's the thought that counts right? Hehex. Merrisa, better rmb when all our b'daes are horx! =)

Mmmx.. went back after that - was quite angry cause of some issue but well, whatever la. When you tired of your toys, you throw it aside? If that's the case for some ppl, then so be it. Dun care!

Daddy spent the day cleaning the house and didn't want my help (I offered kx?) so I played Dune 2000 again. Hahax. Completed the game... again. Waited for mummy come back then errrx, we went to go eat. Met at Jia Ying's house and ate there. The food not bad! Hehex. Then ya, cousins did our nonsense again - quite boring la but well, got fun eventually. Before we left, we were like watching Jay's nonsense. Hahax. Jay, Clay and gay! They all rhyme! Hehex. All the ppl jia ying like all gay de. Hehex. Weird lorx.

Yuppie. That's about it! Nitex!

Shopping...

2005-02-06T23:20:00.000+08:00

It's been a really busy and tiring week. Had two major projects to handle and ya, was very taxing - till now still havent fully completed yet. Literature got progress but GP horx, grp members not co-operating. Haix. Oh well... that's JC life. Let's see how it goes ba.

Today was a fun day. Had cell with Donkey 2005! Keane lead the cell to my house (cause I was lazy to go church) and din get lost - so pro right? Hahax. The grp really roudy today - icebreakers and worship didnt really go as planned but wadeva la. Word was quite oki - must thank Zhengxian for it. Hehex. Was quite last minute for me and he helped me cover up quite a bit - thanks brother!

Supposed to go for MSG cell meeting after that but mummy wanted me stay home. I was nice a listened. So ya, I stayed at home and played with the kids until Yang came home. Then they left and I went to practice piano awhile before going upstairs play computer. Dune 2000 very fun lei. Hahax. Played until tired den went out shopping with the family. Crapped a lot in the car - didnt know where to go eat so ya, had a very funny debate as a family. Hahax. Was fun lei - for once, mummy din scold and joked along! Yuppie! That's the mummy i like lei! Hahax.

In the end, went Queenstown eat chicken rice. Yummie. Ate two bowls of rice. Hehex. Then after that, we went shopping. *yawn* spent quite a lot of money (wont discolse amt) buying stuff. I got kinda sick and dizzy walking around - place was stuffy and all so ya, had a little headache and had to go home after that.

Mmmmx... Dodo Annabelle told Beatrice some stuff... grrrx... wonder wad... hahax... will find out soon - and kill her if need be. Hahax. Gotta plan cell outing for saturday and errrx, study for history and econs paper tmr. Gone le - oh wellx... how bad can it get? Hehex. Do by faith la! Ahhhh! Hehex.

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Lord, thanks for today. Had a fun fellowship with Donkey 2005 and my family. Mmmmx, tmr got history and econs test - I shall be guai and go to school and errrx, please help me remember and recall all that has been taught during lessons ya? Errrx... also wanna pray for Beatrice - lost her voice - heal her. As for my didi, the dodo ate too much cheeze balls again and now, flu - just pray that You'll cure him quickly. Pray for all my classmates too Lord - help us through tmr. As for donkey 2005, You know each of our needs and struggles - we entrust You with all of them. Finally, pray for the week ahead - may it be one that is interesting and fun. Commit all unto You Father - AMEN!

Work's Piling

2005-02-02T01:00:00.000+08:00

Let's start off with Monday first. The day was quite stoned - the highlight was just that I saw something that I shouldnt have seen. Heidi's and Jin Yun's fault but errx, whatever la, over le. I'll try to get it out of my poor little mind. Hahax.

Yesterday was a super tiring day. Morning woke up really early to go help Huiyi find her SIM card which she lost - not at the coffee shop. Poor girl - guess it's really gone. Haix.
Went to school after that and errrx, GP lecture was nonsense as usual. Had a break then was literature. My brain was kinda lagging throughout the lesson - wonder why. Hahax. Then PE next! Double period! Shiok I tell you. Full court Eliminator Game... wahx! 1 win, 1 loose. Fair la. Hehex. Then we did some stupid stairs exercise which was REALLY very tiring. Looks simple but super straineous.
During double break, I attempted to study econs. Not much done in the end cause of the pianists - keep playing. Hahax. Next time I study with the guai ppl le. Hahax.
Double lit was kinda lame - had a mini test which I found oki. Then later broke up into groups discuss our mini-literature project. I laughed until stomach pain again. Was a perverted discussion but ya, got things done la.

Wanted to go makan with Andrew and forgot who le.. hehex... den ended up right, realised that i left my wallet in school - haix - so go all the way back take lorx. Rubbish lei. Oh yeahx! Realised that my chinese teacher actually stays quite near me - blahx. Hehex.

Went home but didi using computer so I went to bathe first. When finally got to use, did Literature - wrote out the script for the project. Really tiring lorx. In the end, do until no time to study econs or do GP. Screwed. Haix. So behind time. I need more time! Stupid Shakespeare. Haix.

Ate an early dinner then back to work again. Went to watch TV after that - PCK super funny! Hahax. Then wanted to get back to work but didi used again - wanted to scold him but was nice la. Agnes called and I chatted with her until supper came. After supper, I took back the computer and did literature until now lorx. Haix - cant let yang use next time le.. if not I'll do until so late. Tired lorx. And still got undone econs studying and GP. I'll make up for econs tmr during chinese ba. Hehex. GP after school rush le. Oh well.. wad to do?

Getting really tired le. Need to rest! Nitex world... and Shakespeare, you're fun la - but next wk, up from your grave you come. Hahax.

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Lord, it's really getting tiring now. Got a lot of things to co-ordinate. I really pray for strength and wisdom. Guide me and aid me in this time Father. Commit my studies to You. Lord, I also pray that You'll just watch over me and my friends - boost our immune systems as there's a flu bug going around. Also wanna ask that You prepare my friends whom I'm going to ask to go to church on Sat and for the cell outing on the 12th. Pray for Donkey 2005 outing on 12th - give me plans for the day ya? Hope that my cell members friends will come along and get to know You too. Pray for xian - he's busy too - help Him Father. Mmmmx... Tired le - for the points I've missed out, You know my heart... All to You I give and I believe, that in You, all is possible - AMEN!

My Day...

2005-01-30T23:20:00.000+08:00

Sunday's always a nice day. Hahax. Woke up at 0930h today and went got MSG cell meeting. Felt a little sick but still went. I miss MSG so how not to go? Hahax. Took 112 to Lavina's house. The journey was super fast - less than 5minutes. Got there super early as a result and ended up sitting by the pool side... Almost fell asleep when Lavina and Angel came. Yawny. Wonder why I was sleepy despite the sleep I had the previous night. Hehex. The sun was really hot so we had to pull a few HEAVY umbrellas the shield the sun - cell was to be held by the poolside - how interesting.

Icebreakers was fun - ha, haha, ho! Blahx. Hehex. Paul and Jon Choy had to do forfiet - walk on water. Hahax. Go in faith man brothers! Hehex. Yuppie. They did walk on water alright - by the poolside. Hahax. Worship was fun too! We were singing and well, got this old man sun tanning by the poolside was tapping along. Hehex. Cool right? Uncle Allan had to rush off by 1245h so word was cut short. He gave us "NTUC Vouchers" so play with. Hahax. Completed it effectively.. Praise God!

Went home after cell meeting and sat down in front of computer. Sourced around for blogskins for Donkey 2005's blog. Hahax. Was hard to find an apporiate one but thank God, finally found one in the end la. Hehex. Then after that, went downstairs practice piano. Can play "God is Good All The Time" le! Yuppie. Didi was talking to errrx, I think Gen and Jamie again then.. dunno which one ask me stop playing.. hahax. Ignored them - my house - dun wan to hear den go away... When I practice, no one, I mean NO ONE, disturbs me. Hehex. I went to lie on the sofa after that and fell asleep unknowingly. Hehex. Was feeling sick again ma... not that I lazy kx? Hehex.

Woke up with a stiff neck but well, the flu was better! Amen! Then went back to computer to play. Hehex. So slack right... then went out for dinner, came back, bathed and then back to computer. Hahax.

Just got wonderful news lei: Econs test might be tmr! Oh yeahx. Just called Agnes to tell her. Blahx. Her handphone number is given wrongly. Grrrx... Had to call her home. Hahax. And it's late. Hahax. Oh wellx... Entrust the test to God le - I'm gonna study a little.. rather revise la. I think should be alright - I've been a good boy and listened during lesson. Hahax. Well, with God, should be fine la. Nitex in advance world!

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Lord, tmr might be econs test. Whatever it is Father, I want to commit it unto You. Been listening in lesson and ya, revised too. Guess the rest is really up to You le. I've done my best and I have faith that You'll do the rest! Isn't this what Uncle Allan taught us today? Ya, it is! Thanks... guess You were really there during cell. Ummmx... pray for the week ahead too. Will be trying to share You with my schoolmates. Annoint me with Your Holy Spirit so that this will be possible. Also pray for Donkey 2005. Bless them for the week ahead. Pray for Sunday's cell meeting - guide me and Zheng Xian in preparing Your word.. will be sharing testimonials so ya, just guide us all. Oh ya.. all those who are sick.. please heal them.. Thanks for healing me. Yuppie. Commit all these unto You... AMEN!